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Rheumatoid Arthritis
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Posted 8/21/2008 6:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hello,
I usually go to the Chronic Pain Forum ... but not today.
I've had Chronic Pain. etc for six years.
The pain required a total change in my life. Not easy.
Today "Barbara" called.

"Hi, Pamela. How are you today?" said Barbara.
"I'm not great today. I had to ride a long way yesterday and that hurts me," I said.
"Well, I tell you I was just miserable with my knee and hip, but I got over it!"
"That's wonderful," I said, "How did you do that?"
"I read the scriptures and ride my recumbent bike," she said. "I'm totally out of pain.
By the way, have you been praying to the lord?"
"Yes," I said.
"Have faith, Pamela. It's easy. Be sure and read your scriptures," she said.
"Ok."
"You know it's just Arthritis," she said.
"Yes," I said.

I've been to a lot of doctors. Barbara doesn't know my private life or my faith
practices. She hasn't read my MRI's. I felt like she slapped me when she said, "It's just Arthritis."

What can you say to people like that????
Posted 8/21/2008 11:54 PM (GMT 0)
How frustrating Pamela!
I find people like Barbara to be intolerant. They seem to measure other peoples pain by their own standards.
I also found her lack of compassion unchristian like.
Keep your head up and just ignore the ignorance of some people.
Jo
Posted 8/22/2008 3:57 AM (GMT 0)
"Keep your head up and just ignore the ignorance of some people"
Jo

Yes, Jo. Those are good words. There is really nothing I can do about the situation.
In the past, I would have dealt with the blow in a different way. But now, of
course, word wars wear me out. They actually CAUSE more pain in my neck and back.
If I did embroidery, I'd embroider YOUR words on my pillow case. : )
Pamela Neckpain
Posted 8/22/2008 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
It is so hard to accept that some people will never get it, unless they literally GET IT.

Sometimes people really mean what they say, and other times they are just blurting out what thay think will help or encourage you. It really upsets me when I've had one of these conversations with someone and they seem to walk off thinking that they are right or that they have some way helped me.

The scriptures say to be sensitive when speaking to others. All I can do is ask God's help to speak gently to a person in a way that will encourage. Also for other christians to be able to do the same.

My husband's double edged sword (his tongue) has split me open sooo many times I cannot count. I just quit telling him because he is not intersted in helping only putting down, disclaiming pain and medications.

Walking a mile in somebody elses shoes could be a real eye opener. I wish there was an easy button to make others understand.

I like the embroidery concept, but I, too, am not skilled in that craft.

Pamela, just like you, I have a ruined exhausting day just from having a lengthy phone conversation or a heated one.

Thanks for starting this topic, I feel I don't have any help for you.......but you have helped me...thanks you!

-nev
Posted 8/22/2008 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
nev -

Well, a day has gone by since my call from "Barbara." I know I'll see her
again. I know she will drive me to the hospital when my husband goes in
for a procedure. I know she wants to help me. I need to get over this. I
think she meant well. She has no idea that she gave me an even worse
pain in the neck that lasted all the live-long day.

I think I'd better take up Embridery or button design. Here's the new quote:

It's so hard to accept that some people will never get it, unless they literally
GET IT. -nev

I am sorry about your husband's attitude. I have a magazine called HEALTH.
I noticed there's an article in there called: "Why Some People Don't Tell Their
Pain." (Something like that) I will most certainly read it and report back if there's anywritten
word from "the experts" that will somehow magically help us.

One time a friend said just the right thing at the right time, "Tomorrow
Is Another Day."

Pamela Neckpain

Thanks for responding to this topic, I feel I don't have any help for you.......but you have helped me...thanks you!
: ))
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