any ideas on using handicap parking space/ preventing personal attacks

Oh wow, I'm sorry that happened to you. I can't say that it's happened to me...yet, but perhaps it might in the future, I don't know. However, I do walk with a limp, so it's kind of visible.

I can sort of understand why she thought that way, being how many people abuse handicap spaces (like borrow relatives tags when they themselves don't need it, etc.). But on the other hand, if it were me, I would have been upset to be attacked like that, as well.

It took me several years to ask of a handicap placard. I should have asked for one before my surgery, when I really couldn't walk at all. But like you, I was too stubborn. I did not want to face the fact that I was young and couldn't really walk. I did not even use a cane or walker, either when I should have. Everyone told me I should be using assistance, but I just wouldn't give in. Well, I had surgery and was better for several months, but .....I just keep on getting problems and having problems walking, though not as severe as before. I also have severe ankle arthritis, which causes my limp. And so after some long thought, I finally got the courage to ask for a placard, as I've resigned to the fact that it seems my problems just won't go away.

But even now, I don't usually use walking assistance. I always try my best to manage without. But the handicap parking is definitely a plus, especially when I have such problems getting in and out of my car, as the spaces are so much wider.

I am not sure how I would have handled your situation or what I would have said back, if anything. I probably would have said something like...are you aware that young people get disabilities? And for young people, it is not usual to be needing assistance or handicap plates. It's out of the norm. It's can be depressing and we don't want to give in to the fact that we have a disability because it's "not expected of us at our age". I would have asked her if she knows what it's like to be young and have physical disabilities. I don't know what else I'd have said, but probably would start somewhere along those lines, and perhaps give her an education of how young people have disabilities. I wonder if she is aware that little children can suffer the same? (such as juvenille RA or cancer, etc).

You're welcome! Yes, definitely try not to take it too personally. And, unfortunately, there are many young people that have all sorts of disabilities. Too bad that many people just don't think about that.

I don't usually post here.  I couldn't resist this thread though.  I have MS and I actually walk just fine but I have chronic vertigo and it is very difficult for me to walk through a parking lot looking straight down at the ground.  I cannot watch for cars backing out or grocery carts coming at me.

I had the "you don't look very handicapped to me" and my response was, "well you don't look like a person lacking compassion.  I guess if you can hide the fact that you are a mean (blankity blank) then I can hide the fact that I am handicapped.  If you are doubting my placard, please call the police. They can verify that it belongs to me and is being used correctly". 

That shut him up.  I don't know where that response came from but I was pretty proud of myself. 

I am sorry you had to put up with a personal attack.  It is especially hurtful when it comes from another handicapped citizen that should have more empathy to the situation.

Tis thread caught my eye,and hit home.Your encounter shows that there is no shortage of uninformed people.i did struggle not to call them ignorant.i believe that many uninformed people feel that if you aren't in a wheelchair you aren't handicapped.To the few that have approached me i ask do you want to try my handicap for a day?That usually shuts them up.I actually had an individual follow me into the library,and tell the librarian that I shouldn't be in a handicapped parking space because "afterall i walked up the stairs.With that stress extreme tremors set in,and the librarian had to call my wife to come ,and get me.it takes a doctors authorization,as you know,to get a handicapped permit,and they don't just pass them out.Wish you the best Ed

That's a great idea, Koi. I try to do that myself every day. Even though I have trouble many times opening a door and holding it open for someone, I do it anyway. Also, another great thing to do, which anyone can do, is just to smile at people. I do this all the time, no matter where I am, I just give a little smile and people always smile back. I think some people are a little surprised that a stranger is smiling at them, but like I said, I always get a smile back. And at my usual convenience store, I walk in and smile and/or say hi to the cashiers and they always smile back. Especially for them, who put up with all kinds of people all day, I am sure it makes them feel a little better. It's amazing sometimes, how a simple smile can make someone's day and maybe they will smile at someone else.

I have not asked for a pass yet. I suffer from psoriatic arthritis and for the most part, I am fine and really do not require a handicap pass. I've been suffering with PsA for 6 years and haven't had any issues until a recent flare up where I actually consider asking for one because my ankle hurt me so bad that I could barely walk. By the way, I'm 27 now. I never really thought about handicap parking spaces or if there are jerks that park there who dont need them, etc. But you are right, for those of us who "appear" healthy and are suffering from arthritis, or could be any form of heart condition, etc. Its not fair to haggled by others about our condition. We just wanna go on and try to appear normal in everyway. I know i try so hard to not walk with a limp sometimes. But seriously, we have legislation that protects us just like anyone else that is handicapped. Unfortunately, most people are naive and dont realize that there are young people who suffer from chronic illnesses. It took the doctors a whole year to finally pin down my diagnoses as PsA since I was so young and "appeared" healthy. I had so little psoriasis involvement on my skin that I truly didn't know it was there. And the docs didn't either. I'm lucky on that note, but not the arthritis side. My recent flare has added my knees and other shoulder to the mix of affected joints. Not fun at all.

I feel your pain with this. We try so hard to feel normal and not think about illness, but on the other hand, we are entitled to extra help and or assistance, especially when we really do need it to go about our daily lives. And I do think in all honesty, people are naive when it comes to younger people like us.

I'm glad to just have the warning!

I have chronic pain and rarely leave my house but when I am driven somewhere
I always hang the placard.

I don't limp and my disability is pretty much hidden. I'm in my middle 50's so that
may "help" my situation.

Pamela Neckpain