Back to the beginning...

So, I finally got to see my rheumy last week since his return from being ill. I have to tell you, it probably was one of the worst appointments I have ever endured with him. He is not the same man. He was quite brusque, a bit rough when he was handling me (checking all my joints) and almost seemed angry with me that I was on absolutely no med's, but yet was in pain. He still thought I was unemployed (although it's noted in my files that I do have new employment and insurance). We always had a great rapport -- he was always considerate of how things were going (good or bad) and he was more gentle in his approach when checking my joints and stuff.

In any case, he sent me for labs (including Hep B & C?), xrays, and a new TB test (negative). I had 2 spinal xrays, 2 chest xrays, 1 hand xray, 3 feet xrays, 2 SI joint xrays (and a mammogram earlier in the day). I should've glowed in the dark on Friday! Why the Hep B & C tests anyway?

The xray tech had a hard time with my spine xrays as I seem to have developed quite the "C" curve. You can really see it on my xray. Just what does that mean anyway? Actually, my lower spine looks wonky - where it's been hurting alot lately, but of course, I can't read xrays so it could just be me.

We talked about treatment options - Remicade is out (allergic reaction), Humira is out (didn't do a thing), so it's back to Enbrel without the MTX (my choice). I won't do Rituxan and Orencia wasn't discussed (although I'm not sure I'd that one either).

Frankly, I didn't want to do anything - I'm tired of needles and the unknowns. I don't know what to do. I hate taking pain med's, I hate having to schedule my life around injections and lab's and I really hate being a lab experiment.

I'm whining and I apologize. I'm just sad about my rheumy and tired of this merry-go-round that we seem to get caught on. I should hear something about my labs and "pictures" this week.

Any suggestions to get me out of this funk?
~s.

Hi Star, why won't you take rheumy drugs? Arn't you scared of long term damage if you do nothing? Have you tried heaps of different combinations and are just over it? I think all of us get sick of being patients all the time and I certainly get sick of taking all this medication especially when it doesn't take all the pain away. But I live in hope that I will eventually find that winning combo to put me into some sort of tolerable zone. I hope you're feeling better, I hate it if a trusted doctor seems short and cranky, we put up with enough without our caregivers not being a support, it must have been really disappointing. When do you see him again?