Hi there and welcome!
I'm so sorry to hear you are in so much pain. Are you given prednisone and benedryle prior your Remicade infusions? Are you taking methotrexate?
I had issues with Remicade and made the decision to stop. I went months with some serious issues that the doctors dismissed as something else. I finally insisted that I felt it was the Remicade and decided to stop altogether (I feared I wouldn't live out the year if I didn't). Part of what confirmed it was is I started getting reactions during or right after infusions.
My point is - sometimes, you have to be your own advocate on these issues. I don't know what it is about Rhuematologists, but most of them seem to feel there is no such thing as side-effects to their drugs.
As for your hands. Have you tried soaking them in some warm water? Or maybe take a warm bath? My hands and wrists have been hurting like a sprain, but I know it's the arthritis. Sometimes, wrapping them helps - though I work on computers all day, so it's hard to do my work like that. Last year, I was given some Voltaren gel for a different problem, and I put it on my wrists and back of hands sometimes - believe it or not, sometimes it helps! It is, of course, an Rx'd item.
Hang in there and good luck. Keep us posted.