Arthritis and relationships

So I need input...

I have a loving husband, we have been together for 4 years and been married 2 months. I've had RA since I was 2 and have been off meds for the last 3 years due to nasty side effects and taking time off to have our little girl. Recently I've sought out a new Rheumy and looking into new meds. It seems like hubby's totally unsupportive. I know that a side effect of Prednisone is mood swings and maybe it is me...but I'm so angry and frustrated with him I could scream. We rarely fight and since I've been back to the doctor he's said stuff like "I don't know why your going... you never follow through" and not only is it mean but its making me doubt myself and making me not want to go. And he's always saying "its not like your the only one who feels pain, I've had pain before". UGH!!! I try to explain that its chronic, non-stop, wake you up in the middle of the night pain and how I'm always fatigued. He just doesn't get it and then says "You did it to yourself by ignoring the problem."

How do I get him to stop comparing stumping his toe and working fatigue to my daily life? Does anyone else have relationship problems and misunderstandings due to arthritis?

PlEaSe HeLp

I think this is something we all struggle with, for me not so much my husband but my kids and my boss, workmates, friends, kids friends parents etc.
They find it hard to see me limping one day and walking normally the next, to have splints on my wrists one week and be carrying violin cases as if nothing is wrong a few days later.
Its the fickleness of our pain that makes people feel it can't be there! My boss complains of sore fingers constantly and I just offer him my sympathy, I just don't go there a lot of the time.
My partner is more understanding, I had a massive flare earlier in the year that had me bedridden for 2 weeks, in hospital for 8 days, he witnessed the amount of meds it took to get my swelling and pain under control. I think it was a bit of a slap in the face for him, woke him up to what I'm dealing with. He has been excellent ever since.
Maybe take your hubby with you to your next reumy appt, get the old doctor to explain things to him. Can't hurt, best of luck, golitho

I checked out "Spoon Lady" and I was amazed. I actually printed it out for my hubby to read. Thank you all for your post. Hopefully him and I can meet somewhere in the middle and maybe one day he will understand what it is like to be in chronic pain and deal with the everyday decisions and obstacales that I deal with on a regular basis.

I do think the prednisone is causing some of your Anger to show, Its a reaction and I too get
very angry sometimes when I'm on prednisone, it makes me hate myself too...as I'm
normally not so moody they call it roid rage and doctors do know about this maybe
try getting into a good pain management psychologist to learn relaxation techniques
but your husband can also be more understanding as well, he knew all about you when you got
married...did he expect a change???
I sure hope you both can work thru this time and that you can get a low pain day...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((bittjordan88))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Healing hugz