dee,
we all get that feeling of sadness with what we are going through. I am so sorry it is your turn to feel that way. I think last week there were at least 3 of us here just from what i read. I don't say that in any way to minimize your pain and what you are going through just to state that we all know where you are coming from, and we are here for you. It is difficult because a lot of people don't understand what it is like to live a day in our shoes. How could they?
How old is your son? Are there people(family, or such) that could maybe take him to the park or something to give you some you time. Then he would be entertained and you could take care of you.
I started MTTX last weekend and already have noticed hair coming out. I plan on buying a blue wig. I figure what the heck. I'm young i don't want to lose my hair, but i also don't want to feel this pain. It's a toss up but your health comes first for you and your son.
Don't doubt yourself you are doing the best job that you can with what you have!!
I hope you feel better soon, give yourself a hug from me. take care Heather