hello there

Hello, I am new to this site. I've never joined a forum but living with this RA all alone can't go on any longer. I'm 37 years old and wonder will this pain ever go away? I find myself going deeper and deeper inside myself everyday. It's hard to do everything but mostly hard to continue to fake the happiness. I've always been a positive person and most days that's how I get by but lately I feel so alone. My husband is super supportive...this past weekend I was in so much pain that I slept the weekend away. He stayed in bed with me the entire time despite it being his only days off of work. He's a gem and I don't know what I would do without his love and continued support. But I still feel alone. I try and not talk about my apin with him as I'm sure it's annoying. Shoot I'm annoyed by it.  Some days I want to climb to the tallest mountain and scream at the top of my lungs!!!!!!!!!!!! If only I could get up there. As the warm wether returns I exspected to feel better and am so sad that it hurts just as bad.

I just feel so alone 

Are you on medications for your RA? maybe you need some supplements to help...RA can take a toll on ya and maybe you need to seek out counseling help, I have been in pain management counseling for over a year now and it does help...does your RA doctor know how bad your hurting??? You need to talk to your doctor and explain to him or her how badly you are maybe a medication change is needed...So first talk to your RA doctor, then maybe seek out counseling to help deal with RA and I hope your doing better soon....Keep us posted as we do care...

Hang in there. Get treatment, if you are not already for RA. I found that Prednisone and Methotrexate really helped me get back on feet after diagnosis. A supportive husband is a godsend. I am so blessed to have one as well.

I hope that you have found a good Rheumatologist to treat you. RA is really painful, and that in and of itself is energy sapping. Let alone the fatigue...myalgias...etc. But there is hope. Once you get started with a good treatment plan of attack, you will fell better.

I was diagnosed right after our 22 year old mentally ill (bipolar) son burned our house down after we told him he needed to either get a job or be in college. The stress was enormous. Our insurance company didn't want to pay the $400,000.00 in damages. We had only our work uniforms on our backs. No clothes. Nothing. Our 2 100 lb dogs did survive the fire, but we had trouble finding a hotel to take them. For 6 months we lived in a hotel, and I made Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners in the world's tiniest kitchen. But I did it. Rack of lamb and all. We are night shift ICU nurses...living in a hotel...getting woken up at all hours by housekeeping, you name it. Ironically they came through the first day and tested all the smoke detectors in our room. Talk about irony.

I got sick (likely from the stress) right after this. The insurance investigation (they finally did pay)...interviews...court hearings while they convicted our son of arson (he is now incarcerated and we cannot speak to him due to a restraining order that the state put in place. We cannot revoke it until the insurance company completes the rebuild on our house)...absolutely awful. Anyhow...I came down with Hashimoto's thyroiditis first. They thought it was thyroid cancer. I had several needles stuck in my throat and more tests than I ever thought possible. Thousands of dollars in medical treatment that we couldn't afford.

The RA came about 2 months later. Went from running 10 miles a day to not being able to get off the toilet. Seriously. It was horrible. The pain was awful. I begged for death, but it did not come. A very dark time for all of us.

The only reason I mention any of this is because without the support of my husband I would have never made it through any of this. You are so lucky to have this. RA is a bummer of an illness, for sure. But there is some light at the end of the tunnel. Once I got treatment, I got better pretty quickly. We are back in our home which is rebuilt. I can make it up the stairs now. I can exercise, I can finish my 13 hour shift. I can walk my dogs. I can care for my other son. I have hope for the future.

I do believe, with all my heart, that RA has made me a better and stronger person. I am a better nurse because I have more compassion now for the suffering of others. I am a better person because I have more appreciation for the things that I can do. I don't make it a list of what I can't do. It's about what I can do. I may be slower. Some things I cannot do. And that is ok. It has to be. Some days I do not get out of bed. Like you, my husband stays with me. And that is the best gift of all. We lost everything, but we are rebuilding. It's a process. Hang in there. Things will get better.