Ouch in pain

I have not been on in awhile and hope some remember me. I had the two brain Annie's and the friend with breast cancer Julie. Well Oct after two rounds of Remicade I had to stop due to cost. The out of pocket was over the top and they would not admit to a cost mistake of $5000. Well after me calling Medicare they said they (billing at infusion center) found a mistake. So Jan 19th I started treatment again and go back she said in 5 weeks. At first she said 8 weeks but I'm already in pain now. I'm not taking the Metho any more because it makes me sick and the hair loss was to much. I also was told I have Fibromyalgia now..YEA!! Well on top of it all been under great stress for the last two months. My friend Julie died Jan 14th after a long fight with this cancer. I got to a visit from her Dec. 23rd and so happy I got to hug her. I'm now dealing with depression but also got new insurance that covers the Remicade drug,all of it!! It goes with Medicare as an $80.00 add on and covers all dr. visits for a $20 co-pay for the infusions. Okay question??? Does anyone have skin problems like breck out's from these meds?? My hair and skin are a mess I'm so white where my skin was olive and want a tan to try and feel like me (don't think I could lay and get up from a tanning bed). Not sure what tanning bed will do to my skin?? But I can't stand myself...Thanks for any feedback. Also for the depression Dr. want's me to join RA online groups,chats or phone to help me with dealing with the RA where people will understand. Not sure how the chat works on here...
Much love to all...

Sorry to hear that your Friend passed. It's never fair is it? Yes, speaking to People in your own situation can be very helpful to some extent but you may also consider therapy and/or an anti-depressant for your depression. These diseases by themselves can cause depression let alone other depressing situations.

You didn't say if the white areas were widespread or just small patches. You may have Vitiligo. It is an auto-immune disease. My Mom has small patches on her arms. I do not think that unsupervised tanning beds are good for this. I read that Michael Jackson had this condition also but more so. Not sure if that is true.

http://www.niams.nih.gov/Health_Info/Vitiligo/vitiligo_ff.asp

You will have to copy and paste to view it. These links never work for me when putting them on this site. Take Care!

I'm sorry It is like torment to watch someone you love with cancer and fight until the end. I did it too I know. And have RA and am on remicade and can't take mtx makes me sick so sick and the hair loss omg! Has your doctor told you about the RemiStart programs it is supposed to help with the costs ( for me it did little but my work changed ins and to my supise my remicade is covered 100%) my skin gets real dry and itchy but I'm pale as a ghost always so I don't know what it has done to my pallor. Have you tried olive oil instead of lotion? And I don't know but how long have you been off mtx because it can cause sun / skin reactions I think ( I know one of the medicines doc told me to try to not go in the sun. But we are here. Try the olive oil see if it helps at all.