No one understands

awwwww {{{{{{Lynny}}}}}}

I'm so sorry you have so much on your plate right now and a husband that doesn't understand. I've got one just like him.

When my dad passed away I was devastated- he was my hero. I had to travel to FL alone to be with him and my mom and I held his hand as he died.....

Well 2 months later I was still crying from time to time when I thought of him and that aggravated my husband. Why are you crying he asked?  My dad died-I miss him I said. That's over he told me!

But back to you- I've only been in this for a little over 2 years but I have felt misunderstood over and over again and I have come to the conclusion that people that don't have RA will never get it! You said it yourself you don't even know what's happening to your body from moment to moment...how can someone who doesn't experience this craziness understand it? That's why I come to these support groups now. WE UNDERSTAND!  Don't get me wrong I think a spouse should be supportive unconditionally- if we say we don't feel well and we are overwhelmed they should just believe us and give us a hug and maybe give us a hand with what we need. Unfortunately we are not all so lucky to have people like that.

That said- I want to say take care of yourself. If you are tired-rest no matter what your husband says about it. If he balks remind him that your immune system is constantly attacking your body- it's as if you are constantly fighting a flu- does he know what it feels like to be coming down with something? That's how we feel. MTX causes fatigue too.

You are not over reacting and I really feel for you - it's a shame that at 24 you have to be feeling so crappy when you should have vibrance! I resent it at 49! Before RA I felt like I was 25- no lie! I bounced out of bed every morning- never an ache or pain! RA stinks big time.

You just come here and tell us all about it Lynny- we're here for you!

Prayers for your grandpop- enjoy what time you have with him-I'm sure he knows you love him very much!

so very- I bet you don't look sick either which makes it even worse. That's the predicament I'm in. I have always been very fussy about my appearance and RA was not going to take that away from me. I have found ways to adapt so I can continue to fuss. I do exercise-there is a program on tv that has moves that are not complicated and most of them I can do. When they are doing something my body can't do-I just keep moving "free style". This has enabled me to look fit. I still put my make up on. I dress nice. I found that my ankle and feet hurt no matter if I have "sensible" shoes on or heels so I wear heels. I have a sit down job so I can do this- I would never be able to be on my feel all day like you are. In fact when I have to go grocery shopping after work I have to bring a pair of flats to change into-after all day my feet really want slippers. I have lost range of motion but I have adapted so well and found new ways to move- no one else can tell...
Therefore people think I must be feeling GREAT! Certainly there is no way I'm sick. But I DON'T feel good. Always tired, every time I pick up more than 1 file at a time my hands hurt, my feet hurt if I stand more then a few minutes on them, My knees are stiff when I have sat for 1/2 hr. and now need to walk. They are just some of my complaints. Since at onset it was more like feeling like I was walking on broken bones and my upper joints were being sawed off- I don't feel like I have much right to complain. But truth is I don't feel good and when people act like or tell me I'm well- it hurts.

Wish I had a solution for those long walks to the games- I really can't think of anything unless you would be willing to take a ride in a wheelchair but that is probably not something you are ready to subject yourself too. Oh what would people say then?

you know something just struck me- since I started Humira my knees have been hurting me too! They also were not a symptom of the past. My hands seem better but my knees hurt and have crepidus!