Sorry, needing to whine!

I am not feeling good today. Horrible aches and pains and shooting pains and feeling like things are stinging and biting me. I forgot to take my meds this morning, but I think I still would be miserable as I am usually pretty miserable. I took half a Vicodin an hour or so ago and if that does not kick in soon, I will take the other half.

I am starting to obsess over seeing the new RA doc thinking I will get the same diagnoses I have gotten from the other 4, meaning, fibromyalgia and undifferentiated or mixed connective tissue disease; not RA. I know this is stupid of me, but worry and depression are my middle names. It just seems that if every doctor but my RA doctors say I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, I surely will get the same response from the new doc.

On top of my irrational thinking, I cannot find, nor did I save the link that shows a picture of a hand with a Rheumatoid Nodule exactly where mine is. This has me thinking that the internist may have diagnosed it wrong two weeks ago. I hate myself for not saving the link and have spent hours trying to find it. Now I think maybe I did not see what I thought I saw.

With my current insane way of thinking I will add that I am a 61 year old incest survivor and, not only do I not trust most people, but I do not trust that my pain is real and that I have out-of-range tests. I have thought all along I had RA, but when the RA doctors say I don't, I shrink back into my wounded child state.

I am on another forum that can be fun, and I have no energy to read threads and post.

I have trouble getting in and out of the car, getting on and off the toilet, getting out of bed. Instead of using my knees, I have to use my hands and arms to push me up or balance me to get down. I am loosing my balance more and more now. I feel so bad for my dogs that I did not play with them today that I cannot even look at them.

I have a meningioma and doctors want to blame it on a lot (some) of my problems, but it has not grown much in the last 10 years.

Whine! Whine! Whine!

Sorry for this, I just needed to complain somewhere.

You have a reason to whine! Don't feel bad about expressing your feelings. After you vent and get it all out, you should feel better about it. It helps just to write it all down sometimes. If I were you, I would write down any questions I wanted answers to and take it to my appointemnt. The new doc should spend time with you, not just rush in and out in 15 minutes. If he or she does not take time to examine your joints and talk to you about your symptoms, see another rheumy. I have seronegative RA, and it took me a long time to get a diagnosis. Actually, I just got tired of doctors, and I treated myself for years w/OTC meds. Finally, I couldn't funciton anymore. I saw one more bad rheumy before I found the good one I see now. She spent over an hour with me my first visit. She examined all my joints and Dx seronegative RA on the spot. She ordered xrays of my hands and feet, and the results confirmed her Dx. I now have bone erosions that cannot be reversed. Please continue to look for a good doc, and do not accept substandard treatment. I know it can be exhausting, but it is worth it in the long run. I hope you feel better soon.

V

bumpercar, I hope today you are feeling better, even if it can only be a little better. Hope that you get the help you are seeking, and know that "we" in the forum believe that you are hurting and sometimes get fuzzy on where we have put things or found things such as your pic off the internet you had and are looking for.
Everyone, needs sometime to whine, and here is a great place to do it because most if not all of us completely understand and want to whine at times too. I know I do!
((gentle hugs)) smile it may make you feel a little better :) can't hurt

It took me 6 months and my several doctors to get diagnosed correctly. I refused to except that nothing could be found, or done about my symptoms, which were fever and a persistent sensation of being choked.
I was finally diagnosed May 31 with RA.

I used the internet and my professional contacts for assistance with sorting out my symptoms and such.
I am in the severe acute phase with horrendous pain throughout all my joints and my throat, along with many of the same symptoms you described. It is a very debilitating disease both physically and emotionally.

You are much too hard on yourself. My sister was diagnosed the fibromyalgia a few yrs ago, and I thought she had a mild case of RA. Which she could still acquire.

Fibromyalgia can occur as a primary syndrome characterized by muscular pain or as a secondary syndrome to other rheumatic diseases. It is possible to have fibromyalgia syndrome as well as another rheumatic disease. Patients with rheumatoid arthritis, systemic lupus erythematosus, or ankylosing spondylitis are at increased risk of also developing fibromyalgia syndrome.

An informed patient is the best patient, and is better able to explain/expand on/ what is occuring in our bodies. Many times it is the little symptoms, or those we tell our friends, that the MD needs to know about. A symptom journal works well.

Physicians are human too. One size does not fit all. It is perfectly acceptable to interview potential physicians to determine if he/she is right for you:

Performs joint examinations and accurately records medical history.
Uses suitable tests for monitoring disease progression and to help insure safety with prescriptions.
Stays up to date on current tests, treatments, and research.
Does not try to use rheum factor lab tests or CRP the way endocrinologists use blood glucose tests, but asks patients about disease activity.
Will fairly communicate with patients on an adult level without any type of abuse

Rheumatologists can learn more about RA by listening to patients and not scoffing at their symptoms, or rolling their eyes, or making rude comments such as “At least you don’t have nodules like some b@$%&* do!” or “Just get over yourself!”

Good luck with the new Doc, hope you will begin to feel better soo.

Thanks All for the posts!

I never did find the picture I was looking for.

I have been taking benadryl to sleep at night, but usually wait until I have tossed and turned for hours. I will take 2 at 9pm tonight.

I am confused about Peripheral Neuropathy. The internist said to see the Rheumatologist. Websites say to see a Neurologist. But I have read that it can be associated with auto-immune disease. Do ya'll have any experience with this and any input?

Today while walking in comfortable slip-on soft flat sandals I started having a sensation that something was stinging an area on the top of my foot just behind by big toe. I am used to thinking things are stinging and biting me. The pain hits hard then goes away, but I look anyway just in case something is really stinging me. This time the pain continued.

I examined the area that hurt and saw no bite or sing and it did not hurt when touched. I would put my shoe back on and the pain would start all over again, so I checked the underside strap of my sandals and there were no stickers or stinging insects there. This continued all day.

I discovered that the pain was originating from the bottom of my foot. Pressure there makes the top of my foot feel like a jagged board is being stuck into me.

In a prior life I must have been a Salem Witch.

Tomorrow this old former city gal turned country bumpkin is headed up near Austin to look at and probably purchase a new ram lamb for our herd. It will be good to get away from the house. And surely there will be junk food somewhere along the way.

First let me say I am sorry everyone has so much pain, yet at the same time, I am so glad not to be alone in this. I was diagnosed with RA almost 5 years ago, and I am only 42. Looking back in my 20's I see the progression that has brought me to desperate thoughts today. I feel for everyone of you and understand. I started cimzia, and I feel like it is a really strong anti-depressant, but I always feel like I am jumping out of my skin on an ant-d., it is a little less, but I also dropped alpazaram and lortab when I started this two weeks ago, so I think my body is going through withdrawl as well. It is useless to talk to my RA dr. He was not even keeping a flow chart on my blood tests until after two years of wasting my time with him. I have also been taking the methotrexate injections, as well as mobic, and ambien to help me sleep. When he prescribed cimzia, he had given me one other choice, see another RA, which he knows the closest ra is 25 miles, versus 5 miles to him. He is the second RA Dr I have seen, so I feel seeing another one is just as useless. It's a shame that they seem so uncaring. I found that he was into photography, so I attempted to get on his good side by bragging about his website, but that just got me pain pills, no sympathy. I hope everyone has a better tomorrow. and Take care. I will keep reading for any suggestions anyone has on what has worked for the same issues.