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daisha,

Hello and welcome aboard!  You have come to the right place if you're having a hard time dealing with your bipolar and are looking for people who understand the ups & downs of this illness. We all try to support one another around here.

Is there anything in particular that you would like to bring up? Just post away and someone will respond as soon as they can. In the meantime take you time viewing past posts. You may find some support/answers that you need.

Take care.

This is my story--In 1/28/04 my husband was killed when his work truck was hit by a train. My life as I knew it stop and I have gone through a different side of life I never knew existed. As the days and weeks went by I was first in shock, denial the whole nine yards in the journey of grief and loss.  I had and still do have days of wondering how am I going to get thru the day.  I got to the point where I was having anxiety and panic attacks, could not leave the house and as I now understand spiriling depression.  I thought I was at my lowest and was not understanding why this feeling of despair was not getting easier but harder.   Just last year after I had to go to a outpatient program did my doctor that prescribes my meds agree with my psycotherapist that I might suffer from biopolar 2.  My depression had me to the point of being sucidial and not even realizing where I was or what was happening to me.  I was given lithium to take which helped but I have not gotten up to the required number of doses I'm suppose to take. I made the mistake of stopping due to some personal things that were happening in my life and I assure as any of you who has ever stopped--I crashed big time.  I am trying to stay on track and take my med but this ever present sinking feeling is still present. I feel like I have gone crazy and just standing on the sidelines looking.

Thanks.  I am certainly in need of a place to feel at home at.  Mostly I have found out being b/p leaves you feeling like you don't really have anyone to express my deepest feelings to.  Somedays I just am speechless, which leaves me very anxious and confused.  I think the most horrible feeling is that of hopelessiness, and being annoyed.  I miss the way I use to be and how my life made some sort of sense.  I am not sure what to do with this new part of life and how I fit in.  Sometimes it feels like I'm having a out of body experience.  Just feeling down and down then up a litttle and then again just like a roller coaster.  Wish everyone well for the evening.

Carlosclan,

I'm certainly sorry that you are having to experience the wrongs of being biopolar. How do you feel cheated?

Daisha