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Posted 4/29/2008 9:46 PM (GMT 0)
My only job lasted a few montths.  It basically being a recess monitor at my 8 years olds school. I worked 3 days a week for 2 hours.  I call it a job because I got paid.

Hoe many out there cannot work?  What have your doctors said?  For instance, mine have all told me I will never be competent enough to work, when asked.  MY dad always tells me it about work, but how you use what you do have. I shower!  Do most work or are moost at home?  How do you feel about never working ?

quietpain

Posted 4/30/2008 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
I miss working, It is the structure that I miss.  The day is too long. more time to think about being depressed...
Posted 4/30/2008 3:21 PM (GMT 0)
Hi quietpain, I hope you are doing well today. I have not worked in 6 years and at times it is really hard, I loved my career but my illness just got too bad. I am on disability and at least I get some money I can live on. I keep wanting to try to work but due to my physical problems also, it doesn't look like that is an option for a real long time. I guess it could be alot worse. I have alot I like to do to keep myself busy so that is good. Sometimes I get bored and also not having the money like I used to to buy things really is the most upsetting thing of all to me. Well, take it easy today. Denise

Posted 4/30/2008 4:10 PM (GMT 0)
confused  I'm also on disability... I agree the days are long and VERY @$@#@# boring

JOX

Posted 5/1/2008 2:40 AM (GMT 0)

Hi quietpain,

I like you and most others here at one time were very productive in our lives; jobs, activities, etc,etc---I have not worked in 4 years and I am on disability also.  Sometimes I almost worry myself into a frenzy about not working--but like you my doc told me I will never be able to mentally go back and work in the corporate world. How does one take this? I felt really low but I had to stop and realize I am not the same person I use to be. I don't know about others here but I had a very hard time excepting this new me. I have been in therapy for 3 years, on meds for the same time and feel like I am about to lose it at any given time.  The days I no longer care about, I don't care what I do, if I leave home--just as long as I remember my doc appts or other important appts so I don't look like the nut I feel.  I am going thru a rapid-cycle which started on this past fri--so if any of you have this experience you know this is madden, madden all day long.

My doc told me something I want to share with all of us----Accept where you are and stop trying to fix it. Sometimes we need to be broke in order to be refixed. Hope this helps with the pressure that comes with this illness.

Daisha

Posted 5/1/2008 2:22 PM (GMT 0)
I think that's a wise thing to say Daisha, and so hard to do. I certainly have a TERRIBLE time accepting where I am and I always am trying to fix it. I want to go back to that dream I had of a career and a two person income in my house and self-fulfillment etc., etc. I'm not on disability yet, I work only very part time (12-15 hours), but I can't let go of the idea that one of these days I'm gonna get well enough to get back to work full time. Yet when I think about it, it terrifies me, because what would happen if I should have a bad spell. I know I need to be more realistic.
Posted 5/2/2008 4:51 AM (GMT 0)
Serafena

You are doing better than me. For most of the past 4 years I was afraid to leave the house. Like I said before I only can go certain places by myself without freaking out and panicking.

It sounds so crazy when you tell "normal people" this because it sounds so outrageous.

I am terrified also of how to fit back into society. I wonder what will I do if my disability is turned down. I have not billed up enough energy to get back in the race, so to speak. Most people don't understand that having biopolar problems or any mental illness is not something that can just be turned on and off whenever we feel like it. I don't know about you but I fear what every day will bring. I just hope I can keep it together from day to day.  Who ever coined the phrase one day at a time surely had been thru something.  I want to say that I have two issues---in 2004 my husband was killed in a truck/train accident which putting it mildly has torn my life to little pieces.  I've gone thru so much hurt, pain, not understanding, anger, rage, hate--you name it I have it.  Everyday was filled with such dread and pain I was not able to cope and just lost it.  I have not been in the hospital yet--just a outpatient program.  I can say it has been a long and hard journey. And I wondered why my depression was getting worse and worse finally last year I was told I was bp 2 and yet another treatment plan was given.  The litithum has helped but still problems.  I just hope that one day I can see for myself I have improved.

Daisha

Posted 5/3/2008 12:05 AM (GMT 0)

Hi Guys,

I too am on disability for my crohns disease but I also know that for me, right now, even if my crohns gets better I am in no condition right now mentally to hold down a job.

I know everyone is in a different place with their illness, but not everyone who has bipolar is incapable of working. There are many people with bipolar, who have their illness well managed and are able to hold down very successful jobs. Bipolar isn't a death sentence that we will never be good enough for something. It's hard right now, because of what you are going through and it makes it very difficult to see yourself healthy in the future. It may take some of us a long time, but we can get there.

Here is a list of successful people who have bipolar:

  • Buzz Aldrin (astronaut)
  • Adam Ant (musician)
  • Ludwig van Beethoven (composer)
  • Tim Burton (artist, director)
  • Dick Cavett (television journalist)
  • Winston Churchill (politician)
  • Charles Dickens (author)
  • DMX, Dark Man X (Earl Simmons) (musician, actor)
  • Robert Downey Jr. (actor)
  • Richardy Dreyfuss (actor)
  • Patty Duke (actress)
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson (author)
  • Carrie Fisher (Actress, writer)
  • Larry Flynt (publisher, activist)
  • Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald (Writer)
  • Connie Francis (singer)
  • Stephen Fry (actor, comedian writer)
  • Peter Gabriel (musician)
  • Alan Garner (novelist)
  • Matthew Good (musician)
  • Philip Graham (publisher, businessman)
  • Macy Gray (musician, actor)
  • Graham Greene (English Novelist)
  • Ivor Gurney (English composer, poet)
  • Alexander Hamilton (politican)
  • Linda Hamilton (actress)
  • Mariette Hartley (actress)
  • Jimi Hendrix (musician)
  • Ernest Hemingway (writer)
  • Hermann Hesse (writer)
  • Abbie Hoffman (political activist)
  • Kay Redfield Jamison (clinical psychologist)
  • Daniel Johnston (musician)
  • Chris Kanyon (wrestler)
  • John Keats (poet)
  • Rep Patrick J. Kennedy (politician)
  • Otto Klemperer (conductor)
  • Margot Kidder (actress)
  • Patrick Kroupa (writer, hacker)
  • Vivien Leigh (actress)
  • Jennifer Lewis (actress)
  • Kristy McNicol (actress)
  • Kate Millett (author)
  • Spike Milligan (comedian, writer)
  • Ben Moody (musician)
  • John A. Mulheren (businessman, philanthropist)
  • Edvard Munch (artist)
  • Isaac Newston (scientist, mathematician)
  • Florence Nightingale (nurse)
  • Snéad O'Connor (musician)
  • Susan M. Olmetti (artist)
  • Ozzy Osbourne (singer)
  • Cheri Oteri (actress)
  • Jane Pauley (TV Journalist)
  • Jimmy Piersail (baseball player)
  • Jaco Pastorius (musician)
  • Edgar Allan Poe (poet, writer)
  • Charlie Pride (musician)
  • Emil Post (mathematician)
  • Barret Robbins (NFL football player)
  • Axl Rose (singer)
  • Theodore Roosevelt (President)
  • Cynthia M. Sabotka (author)
  • Robert Schumann (composer)
  • Nina Simone (singer)
  • Britney Spears (musician)
  • Michael Spensieri (lawyer, politician)
  • Robert Louis Stevenson (author)
  • Ben Stiller (actor)
  • Sidney Sheldon (producer, writer)
  • Darryl Strawberry (baseball player)
  • Sting (Gordon Sumner) (actor, musician)
  • David Strickland (actor)
  • Sara Teasdale (poet)
  • Devin Towsend (musician)
  • Nick Traina (singer)
  • Timothy Treadwell (environmentalist)
  • Margaret Trudeau (former spouse of politician)
  • Ted Turner (businessman)
  • Mark Twain (author)
  • Jean-Claude Vn Damme (actor)
  • Vincent Van Gogh (artist)
  • Kurt Vonnegut (author)
  • Scott Weiland (musician)
  • Robin Williams (actor)
  • Brian Wilson (musician)

Virginia Woolf (poet, novelist)

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