Casem

It's been a while since we last heard from you, how have you been?  Drop us a line when you get a chance.

Thank you!!!! Good thoughts and many hugs right back at ya!!!!

I check in every once in awhile to try to catch up or see if I can help anyone in a small way, or add my two cents! I feel very out of the loop, so I just pray you guys are doing well! There are a lot of new names and faces!

I am in my 7th month of therapy and doing great. My therapist and pdoc are a blessing and they have absolutely changed my life. David (my therapist) yells at me every time I say that because I should give myself much more credit. I have busted my butt and worked very hard to get where I am. I've gone through a lot of painful moments to have some MAJOR shifts in my perspective with my family and myself and with Michael. I am the healthiest (emotionally) I have ever been in my life. Yes, the meds help.....but I couldn't do it without the therapy.

I chose not to speak to Michael for atleast 3-4 months, during which time he spiralled even more out of control (no meds, drunk driving, accidents, jail time, totalled his car and lost his license, probation for months from work and ALMOST losing his job)......BUT I didn't care at all. It, gladly, was of no concern to me. My only focus was me and moving forward with MY life.

My lease is up at the end of August (on the west side), so I feel like a very long chapter of my life is coming to an end. I am diligently searching for a residence on the east side....back near work and my family....but I wouldn't trade my experience for the world because it wouldn't have brought me to therapy or to this transformation of my emotional health and perspective. It's funny....I am the healthiest one in my family now (which isn't saying much). I look around, and I'm like "Oh my Gosh....I honestly let you guys (parents) rule my life for so long and you are more messed up than me". And Michael.......I can't believe how I used to attach my caboose to the end of his non-stop emotional roller coaster and just go for a ride. Now, I sit back with compassion and just watch from a distance. Those are his issues, not mine.

Now, of his own accord, he has managed to stay sober, move out of his dad's basement, and start seeing MY pdoc and therapist. Making his own arrangments for transportation to and from work and therapy. He has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder......they are not so convinced he is bipolar....however...we all know there is a fine line.

We are friendly, as we are in the process of seperating items from our storage unit. I wish him nothing but the best. I hope he finds a true path to happiness. I know my path to happiness does not include him.

Casem.....congratulations, it seems that things are going well for you! *hugs*

LONG story there Casem. Thanks for asking. In a nutshell....we are surviving...what choice do we have. Relationship with hubby is tense FAR more than I'd like it...he is twisting much that I say and overreacting towards me A LOT (and other things as well)...but he won't allow for a conversation about it to even consider he is doing this...so I just get on with it and keep moving forward (I feel very lonely in my marriage at the moment). I am seeing the therapist 2 times a month and he is trying to give me sage advise...not sure if it is working other than it being a good place for me to vent... My business is currently taking a back seat at this time as I have had to take a job-job on top of everything else. I landed a VERY GOOD job, and I don't mind the work, the pay is very good...but in the end, it is not where my whole heart is, but until my business and the products start to sell better...I have no choice, we need the money. My working has helped stabilize our income ...and that part is GREAAAAAAT so in that way H seems less resentful. My oldest S is struggling socially and with moods this summer and we are watching to see if it is a chemical shift happening, or from external issues. I have a feeling a med change is coming in his future because I think due to his behavior, he is bringing on much of his own grief and isn't seeing it at all...almost like he is provoking negative results from making such unconsciously bad choices along the way. Does that make sense? Then the twins are just okay. My boy twin is starting to struggle with listening skills...as in he is actively choosing NOT TO. My daughter is doing great, but feels the effects the most of our nanny being gone. She feels very outnumbered in the house now, especially because with me working, and her at camp all day, I don't get to spend enough time with her to compensate - because if I focus too much one her alone, all the others react that they aren't getting their share of mommy time. So...all in all, things are okay...just REALLY hard at the moment. But hey...this thread was to be about YOU! But again...thanks for asking. HUGS, LFW