I am so Depressed

I am so depressed. I want to die. I will not attempt nor commit suicide becuse of my faith. but I pray for the end to come. I have been off my meds for a month now (regular doctor took me off due to me being in renal failure) and I see a new psychiatrist in 5 weeks. all I have been doing is crying today becasue my husband really hurt my feelings. I cannot seem to break this mood and this hurt. I spenta month in the hospital and my husband never hardly contacted me at all he never even sent me a get well card. i mean he spent almost 300 0n a camera but yet he couldn't go to the damm dollar store and get me a card. I didn't know why i was there in the hospital in a strange city. I am so mad at him

well missflip told you everything I was basically going to say so now I have no other advice lol. great minds think alike! call the pdoc, tell them how bad you're doing and see if they can get you in sooner. if that doesn't work maybe call your regular doc and see if they know of anything you can take without it causing harm because of how bad you are. the only other option which I'm sure you probably don't want to do is maybe try the hospital again if you get too bad.

also I agree about talking with your husband.

sorry I basically said everything missflip said, but it is really good advice. keep us updated and if it helps keep posting here about your feelings. sometimes typing it out and even getting feedback really helps. oh and don't feel bad about crying...it's a great release. don't hold it in! *hugs*

Let it out! He needs to know exactly how you feel and felt. The fact that he is lying to you is horrible but you need to get to the truth so that you can deal with it. I hate to say this but if he is going to lie to you and ignore you and not be there for you then possible you would be better off without him. Then you could get your life under control and take better care of yourself. YOU should be number 1 in you life right now, your health, your sanity. He is just bringing you more pain and desolution.

We are all here for you at all times. Stay strong. Take care of yourself.

Hugs,
Missflip

Hi Skeeter

Here is a little different point of view. I am going to assume because you were in a strange town, maybe your husband was not able to get there in person. Is that correct? Now, I'm not trying to defend your husband. But I have been in hospitals where the help was so overstretched they did not pass on messages, deliver cards or flowers. Also, I don't know how well your husband copes with stress. Is he in denial? Denial can be a coping mechanism, very irrational but it commonly exists. He will have to acknowledge your condition because you will need his help. And even though he may not realize it, he needs your help too.

You mentioned your faith, so you realize there is a God that cherishes you very much.

Keep it touch

Cap

No this town was over 200 miles from home because I live in a small town and I had to be life flighted. why I was so upset and crying was my husband spent hundreds of dollars on toys for himself when I was in hospital and did not even go to the damm dollar store and spend 50 cents on a card or a even write a note. then yesterday he said something that really set me off. I got up yesterday morn and was hungry and all I wanted was my cheerios and then he confesses that he ate them when I was in the hospital. I found out he ate all of my special foods. and then he had the nerve to say well I thought you were going to die. What is really hard is I have no support or fellowship religious wise here because I am Jewish and there is no Rabbi here nor Synagoguee (cant spell) town is too small. but yesterday all I did was cry over the damm cheerios and every time I looked at my husband I would yell and throw something and he said he was getting tired of my mood and I informed him this one was his fault cause he stole my cereal. my husband is trying to be patient cause he realizes I am off my meds. When I was in the hospital they told me I had no vital signs when I arrived by helicopter (the bill for that one is 13,000 dollars thank goodness for ins) and I understand that he couldn't come but all I wanted was a note or a card or something. I saw a man at the hospital that resembled my husband and I kept begging him to come back to me then I was calling his wife names because I honestly thought that I had been left there. I was in the hospital a month and they wanted me to stay longer but I threatened to leave against medical advice and I was acting out allot and I honestly think if my husband had just sent even a note things would have been different