Hi Missyeu,
I am new to this forum.
I am glad I found it cos just like you I am trying to find answers to my questions.
I am from Europe, too, and my husband is from a GCC country. We have been married for 2 years and we are living in the Middle East.
Before we got married I did not have a clue at all about my husbands sickness, neither did he know, unfortunately.
He went to see a psyc himself after an incident where he was very drunk and insulting me and calling me all the names under the sun. He got his meds and was improving a lot to my opinion and he was almost having a normal life.
After he was 8 weeks on his meds and doing quite well I had to go to Europe for 10 days. I was convinced I could leave him alone for that short period and he said he feels fine and no doubt he would take his meds, but I had to be proofed very wrong.
When I returned my husband was a totally different person. He was very cold and did not show any empathy to me at all. I was so shocked cos my husband told me the night before on the phone that from this year everything would be fine. Well it was really the total opposite and never became fine again.
To cut the long story short, my husband started drinking again during my absense and there was no common ground that I could talk to him, he only became verbally agressive. He suggested to stay at our home during the week and go out and drink and stay outside during the weekend what he eventually did. It turned out that he cheated on me. After one month I suggested to him to stay with his new companion cos he only came home to change his cloths and to shout at me or to do some paper work for him.
He stayed outside not telling me where he was and called me from time to time. However he was almost always so drunk that non of his conversations ever made any sense. His words always were contradicting and unlogical. He would not listen to me at all. I was devastated during this time, I really did not know what to do anymore and suggestions from friends where not at all that helpful since they do not have an insight into this kind of sickness.
After he abondaned me for nearly 5 months he came back. He could not tell me the reason why he came back and did not show any remorse at all, however expected everything to be llike it was before he met this other woman. Also he denied having been with another woman. I believe he wanted to become good again and just doing what he did before he left felt familar to him and he did not know another way or did not have the right words. I don't really know.
However for me it was not possible to just turn the clock back, although there were time when I tried to do this cos I love my husband very much and feel sorry for him. But I was badly hurt, although I know it was connected to his sickness, but I just could not take that easily, since he had an affair before already. It was just to much for me to take all this. We stayed together for another 3 months. Communication was almost not possible, cos I was so hurt and he was drinking nightly half a bottle of whisky and getting aggressive if there were arguments. So I thought it's better if I keep quiet cos his behaviour caused lots of tension for me and I was afraid he becomes abusive.
My husband moved out 3 weeks ago and only then the real shock for me started. I know he will not come back again. Regrettably I found this forum only now. It's over but I am still looking through bipolar websites to find the answer. It is very very hard and I know what you are going through my dear Missyeu. I now deeply regret that I did not give my husband a chance and feel so guilty and that my rejection made him drink even more. I am very sad that I could not support my husband more in the end. I think the guilt will never go. I admire you that you are so courageous, I know it's very very though. I feel with you Missyeu and I am convinced you will take the decision that is best for you. God is there and he will always help you.
Warm regards.
Monalisa99