Posted 10/12/2008 4:56 AM (GMT 0)
I have been on a rollar coaster for a while. With the highs exhausting me and the lows scaring the hell out of me. The lows were getting so low that I was planning suicide all of the time. I got lyme disease 4 years ago, but this was something new for me to deal with. My dr. put me on Cymbala. And this made me feel better. But after a year..the bad thoughts and the crazy highs and lows came back. It got to where I did not want to be with myself. It was exhausting. The stupid spending, the short temper, and the racing mind. The stupid little voice that never shuts up. It is maddening. I ran to my dr. and begged him to stabilize me. He wanted to put me in a hospital so that I would not hurt myself. I have such a great life so this was all so odd for me. I did not want to be around anymore. I did not want to live in my head.
I was having panic attacks over dumb things at the drop of a hat, the chest pains and the sweating. Too much. The constant fear and anxiety. I was miserable. My dr. put me on Lamictal. 25 mg. The first time that I took it, I had to lie down for about 3-4 hours. It made me feel so relaxed, peaceful. I am now taking 75 mg a day. And it has changed me. I don't like the fact that I need this stuff to get by. But it makes me feel so good. I don't like to take more than 75 because it gives me sort of a hangover. and i do not like to take it all at night for the same reason. I like to take it every six hours. and i feel so peaceful now. I have a lot of patience with my kids now. they seem to like me a lot better now. Because I do not yell anymore. I feel calm. It does not make me tired. Like zanax does. I do not need zanax anymore. It did not do the trick for me. I am so happy to have found this medication. i know it is the lyme that is causing all of my nerological problems, but at least I can live with myself and others now.