even feel alone here

I've only posted a few times because even here I feel like an outsider...bp for me puts me at an arms length with many people.  They tend not to want to be around me because they just never know what the mood will be.  I have no real friends.  Even on this forum I see that several people have lots of responses and people communicate well; yet I don't feel like I fit in.  I see myself in a lot of the topics but I don't know if I should jump in a talk about my experiences or not; I greatly fear rejection.

yankeepeaches, i see what you say when u feel arms legth with people, because we just don't know when BP hehaviors are going to kick in. today i went to my sisters i was suppost to stay for supper but around 2:00p.m. i just went into tiers. (spelling is bad) i was crying and just wanted to go home, because i felt so uncomfortable with the way i was feeling. i was embarassed and just could not control my crying. so i went home, no supper for me. BP u just don't know how the days are going to go. so i find i keep people a arms leght away. this is a great forum keep connecting and you will get some responsese. just let people know how your feeling, thats what we all have in common. BP i believe others don't understand till you live it. good luck and stay in touch.

You are accepted here no matter what! We are here for you. I don't get to post as much anymore; have two babies now. But by all means jump in and respond. We know how you feel.I lost a lot of friends due to my bp and them not knowing how it is. I only have a few now and they try. It is hard to be social!! But please, post, respond. Let it out.


Hugs,
Missflip

serafena fixes fast1toochase some dinner, because he needs a little homecookin'.

I feel your pain, because you are not sure if what you say fits into all that is said on the chat.  But I can tell you this, I find some good answers from the many of topics in the BP chat.  I am right now starting to go through another as I call episode with my bipolar and have found myself going through the chats more to see if I can identify with anything someone else is going through.  So it does not matter what you want to chat about if may always find someone else who feels the same way.  Thanks for this.

Hi maggiern, if you feel up to it, tell us a little bit about you're feeling, and maybe someone will recognize their experiences and write back to you. May be faster than reading through back posts.

serafena

Thanks sdw679,

I've had a great response to my post...people here are great!!!   

Welcome Rhonda! I don't think you'll feel alone here!!! I know exactly what you mean about sooo many SSRIs over the years only to be dx's with BP and feel like so much time wasted. But now try to find the positive (and yes I really do know how hard it can be to find the positives but believe me they are there) and realize you have the proper dx and ask you doc for samples of bp meds if all possible. I don't know much about rx companies helping people with rx's but I believe that some do and there are others on the board that may know about how this works. So anyone out there that can assist Rhonda with this info could you please jump here...thanks!

You are not alone!  We are all here because we feel isolated from people who do not have BP or are uncaring or uneducated about the dis-ease.  I do not have any real friends that I confide in, well one, but she lives in another city and I do not get to see her often.  My sisters are alot older than me and being from "A fine ole' Southern family", mental problems are not to be discussed!  My husband is an army brat and emotions are always to be kept in check, though really, he is as good as he is capable of being.  We have been married for 25 years and this all really started to have very negative effects on me after the birth of my daughter.  I would go for my yearly exam and try to explain what was going on with me and the Dr. I went to at the time would just look at me and smile and say "Your fine, see you in a year, make your co-pay on your way out."  My only regret is that I was not more aggressive in my pursuit to find out what was going on with me.  Finally after I literally went for three solid weeks with no sleep, after my husband and I split up for a short while, did I finally find a Dr. that realized I was depressed and in trouble.  But again, i did not open up to the fact that I had been very hyperactive all my life, had almost ruined my family financially and done somethings that were to say the least very risky and stupid.  My help finally came when I got in a lot of legal trouble for writing a large amount of bad checks and I was put on probation until I got everything paid off.  Luckily, the lady who was my probation officier knew after the first time she talked to me that something was way out of sink with me.  She did not "court order" but suggested that I go see someone to get some help.  She knew I was not a bad person or desperate criminal but my behavior and past track record plus my way of presenting myself, nothing was adding up.  So I took her advice, the first two people I saw were of no help.  As an act of desperation, I kept calling and calling PDoc's one day, because I had no insurance and no money at that time until I found someone to see me.  He knew I was at my wits end just by talking to me and our local mental health department wouold not see me for 6 weeks.  Ever since then I have been working hard to find the right meds and we are still trying to figure out exactly what my diagnosis is as I have more than one issue going on.  See, I am rambling too.  It is like once you start, it just all comes out because I think all BP's tend to hold it all in.  It makes us feel better, as it should!  You can talk to me anytime, anyone can.  I love the responses from all of you.  God made us special for a reason.  Maybe one day we will know why.