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Posted 2/12/2009 1:34 AM (GMT 0)
It's been a little quiet this past week or so. That tells me either everyone's doing especially well, or everyone is having a rough time. Maybe a little of both? How's it going board? When you're feeling bad is not the time to bottle it up. Let it out and let us help you.

serafena
Posted 2/12/2009 12:49 PM (GMT 0)
This week has been productive for me. I have been going for interviews. I have got one job offer from an art gallery. I guess it will be a good way to kill time and make money till I figure out what I want to do for the rest of my life. Meanwhile, I want to start a blog or a website on life for expats in the Middle East. Before my parents moved here, they had no clue how suffocating life would be here and the fact that there is no freedom of speech, religion, etc. Can anyone provide suggestions on what would be the best way to disseminate info - through a blog, a webpage, a website, etc.
Posted 2/12/2009 2:57 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Sarafena: I just wrote out what has been going on with me for the past month and a half. For some reason, the computer, or vista, or something ate it. So, I am not going all through that again. The thrust of the matter can be summed up in, I can't tell if it's just my perception, or the world really is crashing in on my head. My Dad, whom I cared for in a nasty rundown wet mouldy old house for two years, and then moved to a nice rental house on the water, till spring , has a golf ball sized tumour growing in his head. He is not accountable for his behavior, he is not a candidate for surgery, he is too frail to withstand brain surgery, and allthough he's diagnosed with Alzheimers, they can't rule out the extent of the swelling in his head. he is currently in a nice, modern, free to roam, nursing home, just down the road from me and I can run down to see him whenever, siblings are circling like vultures, dividing up the silver and all, wanting a full accounting of every penny. Stepmom left Dad with bills taller than Mt. Everest. I had to find a fast buyer for falling down farmhouse, as Bank is nearing foreclosure. I had two major dental extractions, lost the rear end out of my car and got hit with a flying rock from a salttruck barreling past down the highway at 100kms. per hr. I have to be strong and find a way past all of this. Then I have no idea of where I'll land b/c I am responsible for all the old folks bills and business, so need to be nearby. We have ambulance bills piling up around our ears, but on the bright side, our neighbors have become our family (The Campbells', no kidding), and our family has become remote and unreachable. How's everyone else doing?
Posted 2/12/2009 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
Oh Tyno,

What a whirlwind of crisis. I'm so sorry to hear about your father. Isn't it funny how the siblings can be remote when their help is needed but then materialize when there's goodies to divide. How sad. You are strong though and you will find a way past this. It's good your neighbors have become close and can provide some comfort. (((Hugs)))

serafena
Posted 2/12/2009 4:30 PM (GMT 0)
Congrats on the job offer, Shebsy! I think that sounds terrific. A blog sounds very cool. Let us know the address when you've got it up and running.

serafena
Posted 2/12/2009 5:05 PM (GMT 0)

Serafena, I am "mother henning" over not hearing from Mogli for over a month.  I am sure there is nothing we can do to check on her, but I am concerned there has been no posting from her, or response to my checking in on her since 1-9-09.  Given how the year started on me with my dear friend....I am spooked.  Any kind words to help this mother hen not worry would be appreciated.

As to how I am doing...about the same as my last posts.  Pretty overwhelmed with everything at the moment, but hanging in there. LFW

Posted 2/12/2009 8:05 PM (GMT 0)
Hi LFW,

I understand your concern about Mogli, but to calm your fears a bit, she hasn't logged on since 1/9/09, so it's possible she hasn't seen your posts at all. I don't have her email or I'd contact her that way. I don't know what else to do? We can only wait it out. Try not to worry too much. She's probably fine. She does have an overwhelming and busy job (and a boyfriend).

serafena
Posted 2/12/2009 10:35 PM (GMT 0)

Oh my gosh...I feel so awful.  LFW, for you to worry so much.  I am in tears...This illness puts all of us at risk for so many things, and I hate that you were so worried.  My absence definitely has mostly been due to my job.  It is killing me slowly.  Just like serafena said, it is overwhelming.  And I am trying to look for other jobs, but even getting to the computer to do that is tough for me at the end of my days.  The other secretary I work with is feeling the same way and here I am with this illness on top of it all. 

Shebsy, nice to meet you.  I echo the congrats on the job and I think blogs are amazing, so I vote for that smilewinkgrin

Many hugs to Tyno & you are in my thoughts. 

Serafena, thanks for comforting LFW...It was exactly what you said...I didn't even see her posts until today....Hope you are both doing well.

Posted 2/12/2009 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
Hi  I wrote a few weeks ago about switching to generic risperdol...  I know now that I will be going back to taking zyprexa... the risperdol wont work for me so waiting until feb 23 rd for my p-doc appoinment.... 

hugs, Caren

Bipolar 1

Posted 2/13/2009 1:22 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Mogli and Caren,

I'm so glad you're fine, Mogli. Of course you are. I hope you find something less stressful soon, though. That can't be good for you.

Caren, I'm sorry the risperdol didn't work. It's always disappointing when one more thing doesn't work... Hope the zyprexa hangs in there.

(((hugs)))
serafena
Posted 2/13/2009 2:01 PM (GMT 0)

Sarafena, Thank-you for the kind words. I find it hard to not curl up in a ball and pretend the world went away at times like this. Also with the stress, the Fibro is going nuts. I wake up in excruiciating pain, when I do get some sleep. Sometimes I feel like it isn't worth going to sleep. Trying to come awake while hurting like someone took a baseball bat to me.

Mogli: I'm sorry to hear you are struggling at work. I went through that at my last "real job". I ended up leaving and taking a job as a housekeeper, because mostly the customers left me alone, and I could work in a very physical capacity, not having to use my head to much. But then I couldn't earn enough to survive. It's a Catch 22, no doubt. Hope something suitable comes your way. Love and God Bless to all. 

Posted 2/15/2009 6:56 AM (GMT 0)
Well DH is home from treatment (early) long story (i'll update in a day or so)... just moved, am working a little more - school starts in september... just trying to get by now!
Posted 2/15/2009 3:11 PM (GMT 0)

Hey BD;

Good to hear from you, sorry things didn't work out with hubby's treatment, hope all is well (as much as it can be anyway). Fill us in when you get a chance to.

Rocket

Posted 2/19/2009 1:54 AM (GMT 0)

Hey.  Sorry I have been absent of late.  I am very busy with my 18 month old and my now 4 month old.  I am finally getting to where I can take care of them by myself without my mom coming to help for a few hours every day.  That tells me that my bipolar is back under control now.  Yeah.  I am tired a lot; an aweful lot.  But that is to be expected.  Sometimes I get anxious and overwhelmed and reach for the valium.  But I am not swinging mood wise.  I still have 20 pounds to lose and have just recently started taking the kids to the mall and walking.  I have a double stroller now and can do that.  So hopefully I will start to shed the pounds now.  I still had 10 puonds to lose from my first baby when I got pregnant again.  My husband and I fight once or twice a week now.  We are both tired; he is in the middle of tax season and working long hours and I am getting up around 4:00 to give our son his medicine and feed him.  My son sleeps 6 hour stretches now thought which is good but I am still tired.  I am trying not to let the fighting get to me but we never fought until we had kids.  Any one else do that?  I am really tired of it and try not to let it get to me.  I go to my pdoc tomorrow.  I haven't had to mess with the meds for three months now.  Yeah.  I got regulated much faster this time after the pregnancy than the first time around.  Hind sight I guess. 

Anyway, that is what is happening in my life. 

Hugs to all,

Missflip

Posted 2/19/2009 4:27 PM (GMT 0)
Missflip,

I'm so glad to hear from you. It's great that you're stabilizing and taking care of your kids. 2 kids under 2 is not for the weak-hearted. I can imagine you're exhausted. I'm tired just thinking about it.

My husband and I had a rough patch when our daughter was very young too. It was the stress of having a small child and trying to manage work and home and our love life and anything else that came up. It was really no fun. We argued easily too. But it passed. We had to learn to go easy on each other because we were both doing our best, both really stressed out, both really spread thin. As the babies get older you'll have a little more time for each other and it will get better.

(((Hugs)))
serafena
Posted 2/19/2009 5:46 PM (GMT 0)
Doing well...They increased my risperdal to 50mg..
Out of Four County Mental Health Crisis Trailer..
Living with a Friend (diffucult, off his meds. and drinking and doing drugs)
Was Aprroved for Hud Housing ( feel like white trash)
Ummm.....was aprroved for diabiltiy... (feel like a failure, having to depended in other's to support me.)
Decided to go back to School, want to either work for Four County Mental Health, ( I have a hard time talking to people how have no idea, what's like to be Schizoeffective, I think i would be easier for people to open up or that i can help, since i have been there.) OR be a Lab Tech.
I have dentures now, ( lost me teeth to piria or how ever you spell it)
I haven't been on much..Sometimes, when I am down or stressed reading about how bad people are doing or despert for help, makes me worse, I feel powerless...
Goood to hear form somw of the regulars again for example LFW..and you of course serefena ( I think I spelled it right..
Anyways, doing as welll as exspected.
Posted 2/19/2009 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
Joxster,

It's good to hear from you. You get on whenever you feel up to it. I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes reading about others' troubles brings me down too. The Depression board is too much for me. It is very triggering for me.

I don't think you should feel like a failure or like white trash for needing public assistance. That's what it's there for -- helping people who need it. When you get back on your feet, maybe you won't need it anymore and you'll go back to paying taxes. In the mean time, take the help you've been given and put it to good use. I like the idea of you working at the Mental Health clinic. It's nice you want to help people.

Keep hanging in there!
serafena
Posted 2/19/2009 11:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all.  It's been pretty calm at our house with my husband responding well to new meds.  We celebrated our anniversary by going out to dinner by ourselves.  I made babysitting arrangements and he was ok with that.  He also surprised me at work with balloons, cake and flowers for my birthday. 

I saw a new therapist and she is waaaaaaay better than the last brainless one.  She made a rec for a p-doc for my DH as well as a therapist.  Suggested we do couples counseling- not ready to approach that yet, but will soon.

So for now, we are in a good place.  Thank you all for your support and input.  I NEVER could have done any of this had I continued to believe I was the only one in this world with a bp husband!

Posted 2/20/2009 2:08 AM (GMT 0)

Hey Whyus;

Two words, GO YOU!!

Rocket

Posted 2/25/2009 7:57 PM (GMT 0)

Hi all! Just wanted to drop in and say hi! Hi to Serafena, Shebsy, Rocket, BPGemini and all the rest of the gang! Hope you're all OK!

I haven't been too bad the past 2 weeks.  In fact I've been quite good.  I've just had a fantastic job offer and I'm making my mind up whether to move jobs or not!

I've still been writing and have been updating my blog! Please take a look, the link is below!!  Please join ass a follower, or even send me a message!

Hope to hear from you soon!!!

Posted 2/25/2009 10:09 PM (GMT 0)
Dear Greg,

I have been doing well, thank you. Looking forward to starting work next week. A cousin of mine is visiting so I am keeping busy with that. There is not much to see in Kuwait so I guess she will get bored after 4-5 days. Today I took her to the largest mall and we ate Japanese, French and American food within 6 hours.

Congrats on the new job offer. I have been reading your blog regularly; it's just that I am unable to comment because the comments section shows up in Arabic here.

Keep us updated on the job front.

Best,
Sheeba
Posted 2/26/2009 4:19 PM (GMT 0)
Checking in.
Just checked out of hospital. THats what I prefer to call it instead of saying discharged from hospital locked ward that I checked into myself cause I felt like a crash was coming. I had felt like superwoman and really liked it, which I'm sure I'm not alone. But , never again will I go off meds and play proffesional Doc again with myself. Heck I cannot even spell the word. LOL I hppe the Zyprexa kicks in soon now that I'm home and don't have the confidence to drive yet. When does that come? I hate this bipolar stuff and this SIAHD THat I suffer from, not to mention the side effects of the never ending pills i now take which I'm not happy about.Can't wear make-up now cause I am super sensitive with tears swinging back to happy ness soon after. You all know the mood swings that come with this bipolar. NO FAIR!
lakewinds formally known as knitwit
Posted 2/27/2009 1:30 AM (GMT 0)
Hi lakewinds,

Glad to hear you're out of the hospital again and doing better. I hope the new drug cocktail does the job and keeps you stable -- now you just stay on it!

Could you drop me a line at [email protected]. I'd like to have a small chat with you and you don't have an email listed. Thanks.

serafena
Posted 3/3/2009 12:18 AM (GMT 0)
I am feeling like I want to stop taking my meds "again", because I do not feel as though there is anything wrong with me.  It is like I want to really see if I am cured. I know that is the meds working talking, but I am on this kick that I should be working more and not on dissability.  I am allowed to work some, but must only work enough to keep within the guidlines of the work ticket.  I have been going down the line today and posting more then I ever have before because I enjoy reading and trying to help others with my advise.  Thanks for posting.

Posted 3/3/2009 4:27 AM (GMT 0)

  I've been doing well, working about 70 hours a week, and generally learning this new person i'm living in. smilewinkgrin    I on a anti depresent to go with my respridal and it really made a huge difference in my life. My depressons are gone, and i can work, act, and think clearly for the first time in my life. So all in all i am a happy camper.  Hope the winter ends soon so i can start riding my bike.

            Bill

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