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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 6/22/2009 5:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hello. I am here because I suspect I have a species of bipolar disorder, but I am not certain. The closest thing to what I experience that I have read about is "ultradian" bipolar disorder, in that I have very rapid and marked mood shifts, often within a single day, or a period of a few days.

However I also may just suffer from some form of depression, as I more often feel depressed than manic. I also plan to post on the depression forum.

Anyway, my severe moodiness is causing me no end of problems, so I am hoping to find some sort of help here, as I lack a large social network from which to draw help. It also doesn't help that none of my friends or family members have experienced this problem, so they don't know how to respond to me.

Thanks for reading.
Posted 6/22/2009 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
I have just been diagnosed with bipolar, I forget if it's I or II, anyway in the past I had true manias, then some hypomanias and now recently I am just basically depressed all the time, varying degrees, but depressed. I have been told that my moods are often mixed and cycle rapidly, as you mentioned, within a single day. I am married and my husband tries to understand. I have a 17 year old, but it's hard for her. I really only have one friend, who herself gets frustrated. I am not working, after having worked for years successfully. I have been tried on a number of medications and am now just trying to wait it out until I am at my therapeutic level. I do know that I don't just have depression only though, due to the mania in the past and brief ones now. I am going to look up ultradian bipolar, I've never heard of that and I used to work in the mental health field, for a number of years as a social worker. My mother has bipolar, which has been managed with medications for years, but for various reasons I have no contact with her or other family or origin members, so I can completely understand your isolation issues. Best of Luck to you, hang in there, it's all I can do most days, but I try to remain cautiously optimistic about the future.
Posted 6/22/2009 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
From what I've read Depression is very common, it's the down cycle, while euphoria and/or irritability would be the other end. To be safe though you have to see a doctor. That's the only way to be sure, or to get a more accurate diagnosis if it happens to be something else.

Good luck!!!!
Posted 6/23/2009 12:09 AM (GMT 0)
Hi HellandHighTide,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the Bipolar forum. I hope you can find the information and community you seek here. We're glad to have you. Do you have any plans to see and psychiatrist and get evaluated any time soon. If you are suffering from the severe mood swings it sounds like you are, you really should get on a treatment plan.

serafena
Posted 6/23/2009 12:12 AM (GMT 0)
Hi jk1119,

Welcome to HealingWell and the bipolar board to you as well. I hope you find the community you lack here as well. It is an isolating illness, isn't it?

It's a trial waiting for the medications to stabilize, but they will. I hope you feel okay soon!

Thanks for joining,
serafena
Posted 6/23/2009 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks for the welcomes.

In response to serafena, I am not sure about treatment just yet. For one thing, I am not at all comfortable with the idea of taking medication, due to a long-standing philosophical objection to drug use of any kind. Counseling would be okay, but I'm not sure I can afford it, as I make very little money and have fairly minimal insurance through my part-time job. Plus, I'm still stuck living at home, and my parents frown on psychiatric treatment, so it would probably make for a lot of arguments that I just don't want to have. But if it gets really bad, I will consider it.
Posted 6/24/2009 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
HellandHighTide

Ultradian bipolar is very unpleasant and can be dangerous. It is also covered relatively little in books about bipolar. I was recently diagnosed as bipolar II in my early 40s, not having had any previous awareness of any problems. The trigger was an ultradian episode with fluctuations from manic to depressed over a few hours only. During a short period of time this got very unstable including a depressed episode such as I have never experienced before, and which was frightening.

Friends raised the alarm when they noticed my erratic behaviour. I then got taken under the wing of a good physician (I am in London, England) and psychiatrist. First they simply had to stabilise the extreme swings as they were concerned about the possibility of dangerous behaviour while in this state. This included the possibility of suicide - I had a sister who killed herself many years ago, which rang enormous alarm bells to them. Ultradian bipolar is particularly correlated with suicide attempts because of the swings from one state to the other.

It is really important to sort out such rapid cycling if that is what you are experiencing. Based on my experience this is eminently doable. Once my extreme swings were under control through seroquel, I have gotten onto a regime of mainly depakote and a little seroquel which is still being finessed. And after less than two months I have returned quite normally to work and the rest of my life. I am somewhat lucky in that I am more prone to mania than depression, but it still needs control. Incidentally, though, I have detected some changes in my behaviour and habits which so far feel permanent.

Good luck, but please don't do nothing.

M
Posted 6/24/2009 11:53 PM (GMT 0)
MDBAFC

I'm not absolutely certain I have ultradian bipolar disorder, but it is the closest mood disorder to what I experience, due to the volatility of my mood swings.

In my late teens, before I'd recognized a mood problem in myself, I dated a girl who was officially diagnosed as bipolar, and at the time I never suspected I was as well. I focused on the problem of dealing with her disorder. That relationship was turbulent, as might be expected, and I became so sour after it ended that I disassociated myself from anything that had to do with her. Perhaps this created some mental block which prevented me from recognizing my own moodiness. At any rate, she was more "classically" bipolar in that her cycles tended to be over longer periods than mine, but she was also fairly volatile.

I can't say that I seriously consider suicide. Oh sure, the thought has come and gone as an idle musing in the past, but what stops me is a certain degree of ambition. The biggest danger that this condition (if it is what I have) holds for me is alienating me from my personal connections and preventing me from becoming successful in terms of a career.

I am reluctant to seek out treatment because of the stigma it carries within my family, my lack of funds and decent insurance, and my refusal to take drugs. I'm not sure I can consider therapy of any kind until I am financially secure to a reasonable degree. Of course, this mental state makes obtaining that situation difficult.
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