Hi, Bipolar since childhood, diagnosed in mid 20's, though I rarely if ever become deeply depressed- I am mainly hypomanic, even keel or mixed.
So glad your wife may now have some sense made of her life. She is LUCKY to have a husband like you- I wish I could say same. I was the bipolar child of a bipolar mother and in our day we hid or denied everything and back them there really was no such thing as "bipolar" my mom was just WIERD, she lost friends, we stopped getting invited to family gatherings, kids weren't allowed to play at our house. I was "wierd" too, add to that the fact that my mom, being wierd herself, would publically make fun of me and you have a great batch of dysfunctional soup.
OK, depakene- here is a list of symptoms from epilepsy.com (antiseizure drugs are used in bipolar because in much the same way as they level the chemicals that control epilepsy, so do they in bipolar, pretty much the same chemicals. They also work for chronic pain because just as they raise seizure threshhold, they raise pain threshhold)
Most people who take Depakene don't have too much trouble with side effects. The most common complaints (usually not too severe) are:
- tiredness (sometimes with slower thinking)
- dizziness
- upset stomach
- vomiting
- tremor (shaking of the hands or other parts of the body)
- hair loss
- weight gain
- changes in behavior (depression in adults, irritability in children)
If you notice any of these problems, call the doctor. Sometimes the doctor can help by changing the amount of Depakene prescribed or prescribing a different valproate medicine. No one should stop taking Depakene or change the amount they take without their doctor's guidance.
Stomach upset from Depakene may be less of a problem if it is taken on a full stomach. Stomach upset is more likely when another seizure medicine with similar side effects (for example, Tegretol) is also being used.
Tremor (shaking of the hands or other body parts) tends to be worse when the level of Depakene in the blood is highest, a few hours after the pills are taken. Anxiety or caffeine also may make it worse.
Weight gain affects 30% to 50% of people who take Depakene. It is more common in adult women but can affect anyone. The average gain for adults is 15 pounds. Exercise and a reduced-calorie diet can be very helpful. It's uncertain whether weight gain is greater when higher doses of Depakene are taken.
Hair loss occurs in 5% to 10% of people who take Depakene. The hair almost always grows back after the Depakene is stopped, but it often has a different texture. (For example, it may grow in curly instead of straight.)
I had to stop depakene due to the drowsy side effects, my son due to the tremors (second grade and not able to print or write 
)
Please tell your wife that once she is ramped up to speed on her depakene, she should NEVER stop cold turkey as it may cause seizures, even in people with no prior history of seizures. This is true of any seizure med, not just depakene. And NO alcohol while on depakene (or any seizure med) You will get (trust me here) VERY sick, well trust me, she would only have to do it once, then prolly never again.
last, but not least remember that finding the right drug, or combination of drugs for bipolar is a very trial and error process and usually ends up being a combination of medications. It can be frustrating, but please, don't throw in the towel, stick with it, you'll both be glad you did.
God Bless