My First Post

Hi everyone,

This is my first post so I thought I would introduce myself.  On July 13th I was finally told that I was classified as a bipolar 1.  What this means I am still trying to work through in my mind.  All I know is that for the first time in 10 years someone was finally able to say that there was something more than a little depression going on.  I have to accept that I cannot deal with this alone and it is ok to seek help.

Everything came to a head when I was ready to do away with myself.  For some strange reason my mom called at that exact moment and for whatever reason I didn't do it.  Everyday since then has been a struggle and I can only prey that at somepoint things will get better.  I have to learn to trust to my doctor which is something I find hard to do.  I know that I have many things to live for and I can only hope that I can get through this.

Stuckintx

(I had to edit your post to comply with Forum Rule #1. No discussion of any illegal activity or threats of violence. (ie. illicit drug use or exchange, threats of suicide or self-injury, or threatened or intended physical harm).  Discussions of suicide or self-harm that are deemed negative and therefore potentially injurious to others are also not permitted. -- serafena)

Post Edited By Moderator (serafena) : 7/15/2009 1:51:41 PM (GMT-6)

Welcome stuckintx,

 

I'm glad that you found us and I hope that we can be a source of support for you.

You're mom didn't call for some strange reason. I believe everything happens for a reason. I'm glad your still here and I'm sure your mom is too. She was signaled out to help you.

Isn’t it a relief to finally get a correct diagnosis? Many of us have been misdiagnosed as depressed for years. It's a shame we had to suffer for so long.

Are you on any meds now? If so, give them some time and I hope they make you feel better. Therapy helps too.

Please continue to post here and we can try to help you out whenever we can.

Again, Welcome aboard.

 

We are so happy to have you join our board,.. You will find comfort here. and  compassion also.

hugs Caren

Bipolar 1.

Hi Stuckintx! Welcome!

Like Sukay, I'm a big believer that things happen for a reason. I don't know how, but sometimes moms can sort of "feel" when something is going on with their kids so I'm glad she called.

BP is a very difficult condition to understand especially when you are first diagnosed so what you are feeling right now is normal and understandable. It is HORRIBLE that there are so many negative connotations associated with it. But, the good thing is that there is more information available and people are becoming more aware and comfortable with the condition.

My suggestion would be for you AND your wife to find out as much as you can. Talk to your doctors and have your wife come with you to a couple of doctor's appointments. I'm sure she is relieved to know that what you have is a managable condition (just like diabetes) and can now help you and support you. BP is hard but knowing what you are up against really helps.

As the wife of someone who has been diagnosed with BP, I would also recommend that your wife seek out therapy/counseling on her own. It helps me tremendously in understanding and supporting my husband. Our marriage was pretty rocky six months ago and now things couldn't be better for both of us. I contribute that to my husband finally accepting that he has BP, our therapists and his being compliant with his meds.

Another great thing to do is post here. EVERYONE is very supportive and helpful.

Good luck and remember, BP is managable if you work with your doctors and are honest with them. So, like you said look forward because the past is the past and you can't change it.

BPWife

Hi stuckintx,

I think it is a wonderful thing that your wife will be going with you to your appt. on Monday.

My husband had come to mine on a few occassions as well and he always walked out with a better understanding of things and so did I.  We get perspectives from both sides.

I hope things work out well for you.

Please give us an update on Monday.

Stuckintx,
Having your wife go with you (in my opinion) will be a good thing. It will help her and you understand what you both need to do in order to manage the condition. You may not want her in your therapy sessions all the time but it might be good to have her in the waiting room - knowing she is there for you.

I hope your appointment goes well today! Keep us posted.

And remember, BP is hard to understand at first but if you take your meds as prescribed and are honest with your doctors, yourself and your wife, you will be able to work through it.

BPWife

Welcome to the bipolar community.

Thanks for thinking of me Sukay,

When I left my pdoc appt I don't think I have ever felt so low in my life. The first comment my pdoc made was to ask my wife how she could be married to this monster. I may be a lot of things but a monster is something I am not. I do have a hard time focusing on things that need to be done and I have social anxiety. However I am not a monster. If my five year old gets his feelings hurt, I hurt for him. If a neighbor needs a hand I am there.

I guess I am frustrated because I felt my wife could have corrected the pdoc and pointed out that I have good qualities. I am not a bad person and it bothers me to be labeled that way.

Anyone ever had this kind of experience with their pdoc?

Yeah the pdoc did such a number on my wife that she was actually talking divorce today because she didn't think she could deal with things. Needless to say I cancelled my next appt and will be looking for a new pdoc. I went to her to try and make things better in my life and now she has ended up making them worse, but then again if my wife is going to bail I would rather it be now.