A little confused.

Welcome to HW Glad you have arrived here! This is a great place for support.

I am sorry you are dealing with confusion, and many other difficult emotions at this time. I was first diagnosed with depression, panic/generalized anxiety disorder...for about 5 years, and then my diagnosis changed to bipolar type II (the panic/anxiety still present, how lucky! LOL).

When my diagnosis changed, I was unsure at first. When pdoc reviewed my symptoms over the recent years prior to my bp diagnosis, it did make sense, but I was still confused. So I went out and bought a few books on the disorder and read a lot. It was a beginning for me in understanding what I have and what the road ahead meant.

Something I found very helpful in the beginning and to this day: Keep a mood chart, daily. Here is a link for one http://www.bipolar-lives.com/bipolar-mood-chart.html (I use the first chart on the list). This way you know your symptoms from day to day and you can bring it to appointments. I think this could help with the confusion; to keep track of what you are feeling. You can make notes on the back regarding bf, anixiety attacks, stressors...etc. It helps you keep track of what the meds are doing, which is probably the most important part.

I am not too familiar with Borderline ... but I was wondering if you had any other diagnosis before; or this is the first? And are you seeing a psychiatrist?

As far as your boyfriend is concerned, that can be tough. Take things one step at a time and focus on yourself right now until you get your bearings with all of this.

I hope I have helped some,

Take special care of yourself. You are not alone and you can get a grip on this for sure

Mogs

I can relate to the difficulty of marking how you are feeling. What I do in that case, is make a list of the symptoms I am feeling and knowing which symptoms belongs to what (manic/mixed/depressed/cycling) that helps. If you are cycling up and down, I just put one mark for depressed (whatever level that might be) and the another mark for hypomania/mania and draw a line between the two marks. I have also included an area that states how many mood changes I've had that day (and that is tricky, but I try my best).

Even an idea of how you are feeling works...and sometimes not knowing where you are indicates rapid cycling or a mixed state.

Glad to hear you're going to do some reading. Not only do you gain knowledge but I always find it comforting to read about my illness because it makes me feel like I not alone and that whoever wrote that book knows what I am going through. Anytime and in anyway I can get understanding I am comforted a great deal.