Stress

The stressors in my life had me in crisis today. Here are the stressors:

1. Mom's cancer
2. A lot of tension/feuds with Dad and step Mom (this is huge b/c it is so emotional)
3. Meds. So depressed yet can't have any antidepressants, been on eveything else before: Abilify, risperidal, seroquel, topamax...my mind is drawing a blank....the only one I haven't tried is Lithium, and I don't want to take it. So with the meds I am beyond frustrated.
4. Work; I have such an amazing job, but I am not loving it and I think that's mostly because I feel so depressed, so tired that I can't function there. It also has way too much down time.....the bordem leads to more depression.
5. Finanical...I know we are all feeling it; and things for me could be A LOT worse, so I really need to consider myself lucky. But I don't have an extra cash ever and I'm just always trying to keep up with the bills. Bf pays for a lot more than I do, but he makes almost double what I make...but sometimes I feel guilt....

That's pretty much it. I guess I need to look at this list and start doing some CBT with it.

Thanks for reading guys.

Mogli-

Sorry that you are feeling so overwhelmed! Just remember- it can't last forever, right? Maybe in addition to some CBT thinking, you could find time to do some meditation? Or even just go explore nature for an hour or two? Whatever relaxes you.

I understand your fustrations about your meds. Bipolar stinks when it comes to meds, there's no way around it. I hope you'll be able to find something that works completely for you. Sending prayers and healing your way!

Hey guys,

Thanks for the replies. The day started out okay for me; feeling almost stable, but now I've come back down. As far as the stressors...I don't know what to do or where to start. Especially about Mom's cancer.

As far as my Dad and step Mom are concerned, I am just avoiding them, and that is working okay. My step Mom is being really hurtful and my Dad is really on her side. So that is toxic and something I need to cut out of my life right now. I don't like it, but it's a must at this point.

My work should pick up in the next couple of weeks as my one boss is returning from her maternity leave, so I am really happy about that. It should bring more work my way, at least I hope it does.

The money woes aren't going to go away. Bf though has been doing a lot to help me out. I think though that is what kills me; I don't want him to be shoveling out money for me. At least I can say I have not shopped whatsoever in ages.

I have a TON of housework to do this week. Overwhelming for sure, but need to do it to feel better when the house is clean. I am going to try to do some major bp reading from some of my books this weekend.

Anyway, OOH wait, I almost forgot! A secretary that I work with lives in the same area I do, and so we are going to walk together in the park one night a week. There, that is something I can pat myself on the back for ...Take care guys I will check in on the weekend.

Mogs.