Coping methods that have helped me in small ways.

 

   Small goals=Small Successes  Creates in me at least, a cycle of success to build upon. I will have a list of  small items  that i want to get done. When i get home from my long day at work, it makes me feel good to get a few of these small items out of the way. Even if it is no more involved than doing the dishes, making a fuit salad, or doing some laundry. I dont go to bed feeling like i got nothing accomplished.

    Excersise:   As much and as often as i can. Some times life just keeps you from getting stuff done, but when i get the chance i try to get out there and ride or hike as much as i can. Something about excersise really helps my BP. Plus it seems to help clear the sprit and mind.

    Forgiveness. Of others and myself. I try my hardest to forgive so i dont end up carrying hate or hurt in my heart.  In the end i like to feel i am more successful than not.  Heck i have to live each day, might as well live those days happy as opposed to being filled with hurt and hate.

    These are just a few small things i have found to help myself along. 

   Cant wait to hear yours.

    Bill                                                    

Yea, i'm fine. Just been way busy with family stuff the last two weeks, working way to hard. Things are calming down but i can feel the toll that much upheavel had on my brain. Tried to talk to my wife about it, she said that she was tired of hearing about "my" issues. Honestly it felt like she was more upset that the spotlight wasnt on her. Which knowing her as i do is what i suspect, she is very very self centered. Thats where the forgiveness came in, i decided to just forgive her and move on, however i won't forget what she said, it spoke volumes to me about her and my relationship with her.

Since that happend i decided that i was no longer going to try and run my life around her, i am instead going to excersise more and if i want to go somewhere on a day trip thats what i will do. Worst case is that i take big ole Thor with me and we have a good time together. Still i don't know whether its the ADHD or something else but i just refuse to carry negative emotions with me, maybe its a gift that god gave me to help offset the BP. Who knows, i would like to think that god just didnt throw me to the wolves without someways to take care of myself.

Anyway my infection is gone, it took 3 rounds of antibiotics to do it but YAY its dead. I even rode my bike yesterday for the first time in a month, OUCH. LOL LOL LOL But that will change, i am going to ride a lot more.

Thats life in Billville. Workign each day to find a way around, over, under, or thru a problem and if those are all a failure than acceptance.
Bill

Tortoise, don't beat yourself up! You've gotten used to depending on your SO, so of course you want to make the cross-country trip with him. It makes perfect sense. Of course you're disappointed that he doesn't have enough vacation time to come with you. I think you're gutsy to contemplate the cross-country trip, and I hope you do it. (Me, I was supposed to go away for a week by myself before school started, but things are so iffy at the moment that I don't know if I'll be able to do the trip.)

And our personalities aren't written in stone. You may have been hypomanically/manically independent when you first met him, but you've changed. And being close to someone tends to attach one at the hip, don't you think? And your meds may have caused a change in your personality, as well. I've been in relationships where we're living parallel lives, and that's not great, either. Celebrate where you are in your relationship, and enjoy it for the way it is now.

And I've been there: Working at home, while my spouse worked outside the home. I was eager for him to get home so I could share the day with him. Nowadays, I realize that he could've used some time to decompress when he first got home. But I didn't realize that then. Ah well.

I don't think you need to grow a spine, because I don't think you're spineless. You've just changed. We all change. Change is about the only constant in our lives. So, again, don't beat yourself up over it.

And Bill, I hope that things even out in your relationship. Maybe your wife is crying out for more attention, but she's not doing it too successfully. ;-) We humans aren't always very good at asking for what we want, are we? As someone who's separated from my spouse, I hate to hear about anybody who's separating or divorcing, so I'm hoping that you folks can work out your problems and continue on together.

Warmly,
Havana

 

  Green tea, i love the fire idea. We have a wood stove we run a lot during the winter and you are right, it just seems to both relax and refresh at athe same time.

   And a shower or a bath is great. Sometimes after a long week at work i take  a five gallon bucket and fill it with ice and water and then just soak my feet. It really helps move the blood and gets them feeling fantastic. 

   Bill