Recently diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bipolar disorder II

Well, My relationship has been going to crap and I haven't had the emotional or mental headspace to be a good father. This has been going on for a while. I was formally diagnosed with major depression about 6 years ago (and PTSD) although I have been on one antidepressant or another since about 15 years of age.

about three weeks ago I went back to see my psychiatrist for the first time in 5 years (completed a degree and became a father of 2 awesome (but at times trying) children) in that 5 years.

The doctor diagnosed me with bipolar disorder II. Apparently I had developed it some time in the last 5 years. At first I thought he must be wrong...I'm depressive not nuts! (no offence!). The Dr prescribed seroquel but 1/4 of a tablet knocked me right out. The next day I got a prescription for Epilim. It has been 3 weeks and I went back to see the Dr today with a mood diary. My mood has been cycling hard from day to day: up, down, little bit further down, right up etc; but have also been cycling throughout the day a lot. Also the Epilim has made me slow enough to find it hard to think or type properly.

I am overly sensitive ALL THE TIME!!!!!!! I finally sat my partner down today and apologised (I know it's not my fault) for the hell she's been going through (my irrational anger, I guess you could almost use as strong a word as hatred that she's received from me, all the sleeping and just not being there for the family . I guess I've accepted that people with bipolar disorder (like me) are not nuts...they're ill.

Anyway, my Dr has just prescribed Lithium and I have to come off the antidepressants completely to stop the rapid cycling. I'm pretty nervous!

I'd really like to hear from people with similar experiences to what I've just described (I also take Xanax for panic disorder). In particular I'd REALLY like to hear from people who have this disorder and the treatment has been successful (whatever that means....) and you have a meaningful career and a happy family.

At the same time as being diagnosed with bipolar disorder I was starting my honours year at university studying ecotoxicology (aquatic environmental toxicology I guess is another way of saying it, most people don't know what it is.......)

Thanks guys!

  First, welcome, all the good crazy people hang out here. .  Now really, you arnt crazy, you have a desease or disorder however you would like to call it that is it.

  And guess what, it isnt your fault in any way that you got this, you didnt smoke two packs a day and get BP, you didnt shoot up iv drugs and get BP, you didnt even piss off god and get BP. Its just like lighting, its goign to hit where it does, no ryme or reason to that.

  That said how you treat it now that you know what the problem is is entirely on you. I have forgiven myself for the mistakes i made before being diagnosed and getting on meds, now that i am sane and level, it is on me to stay that way. ANd yes, it is much easier to deal with the bad urges with the meds helping you out.  

   Stress is a huge trigger for me as a BP person, and some stress cant be avoided. However i have learend to just let a lot of things go, let it slide so to speak, so i dont get all worked up and upset.

   Even thought i am well, i still get about 2-4 major mania attacks a year. They last about 2 weeks and are very tiring. However after you have gone thru a few you see the signs earlier and earlier and can do teh things that allow you to get thru it with a minimum of damage to you and the family.

  Last thing for now, i have to run to work. I like to think about it this way. I "OWN" BP, because the altertinative is that BP OWNS me. There is a difference there, i accept that i am this way, i will be this way, and that there are blessings inside this curse. Its just my way of handling BP. May not be for you but for me it makes all the difference. By me owning BP i have a much better chance of setting the rules of the game, instead of BP telling me what to do.

  ALso i am on Respirdal, or respridone depending on which drug maker makes it. It was the proverbial bolt from the blue that has helped me so very much. I take celexa AS NEEDED. By that when i notice a depression comming on i take it for about a month plus. Then i go off of it and see how i am doing. I would rather fight this beast with as few drugs helping me and instead learning coping mechanisms to see me thru. NOt because i am macho, but because all drugs eventually will not work. So i am trying to extend the life span of the drugs in me by not using them as much, or at all.

   Any questons feel free to ask.  I will be on later this afternoon.

  Bill

Thank you all for your replies!

Yes apologies definitely seem to be in order, and letting her know that it is okay for to be angry at me event if "I didn't know I was ill". I'm very to have found someone like her (I'm just 31, I was 23 when we met).

Sounds like you have all really been through your trials and tribulations!!!!! Either as a person with Bipolar or as a partner of someone with Bipolar!

I don't mean to offend I just need answers to some things to know that the life I thought I was going to gave isn't going to be impossible to achieve....or some semblance of it.

No judgement here!

Do any of you have successful careers in areas that you find important and rewarding? (I mentioned that I was just starting my honours year at university when I was diagnosed.

If so is it impacted a lot by the bipolar?

Some of you have definitely got families (congratulations) on the pregnancy!!!!!


Anyway: Stopped the Epilim this morning, felt a bit weird as if the cotton wool between me and the world had been removed. But this Evening I feel much more clear headed and can even types somewhere near my old speed (not very fast:) )

Started the Lithium this morning, no real affects that I can tell yet. I did sleep all day but that was by choice as I felt like I couldn't deal with everything today. (I'd rather it be by choice if it's going to happen rather than a side effect of too much medication. If it's a choice I can do something about it!)

Anyway, see how the Lithium goes......

Cheers

  I am a very successful full time firefighter, and part time bicycle mechanic and LP Detective (catching shoplifters). Those are wildly different jobs but one common thread runs thru all of them, variety. I need to have different jobs to do so i dont go stir crazy. My hell job would be doing one set of papers, all day long, just the same set over and over again. LOL LOL LOL

  And i have held down these jobs before i was diagnosed with BP and after. A quick example from yesterday. At Sears where i work LP, i came to work a bit hyomanic. So instead of sitting in the control room on cameras i went out on the floor and installed a new camera that i have wanted to install for a few weeks. Took, two hours or work, but by the end it was all done. Then i went in and sat on cameras, most of my hypomanic energy spent. 

   Bill

Happy Bill~ How do you hold down the jobs while you're in your depression and manic stages?

For me the magic bullet has been Abilify 10mg once a week and xanax 1mg every night.

I'm mildly Bipolar II and have tried WellButrin Prozac and one other can't remember it.
The Abilify has worked for Anxiety Attack and depression and mania. Once on Abilify I eliminated all the other anti-depressants without issue.

When I tried Abilify I found it had a huge sedation effect luckily I experimented and found that I could take a low dose once a week around 7-10mg be tired the next day and function excellently the other 6 days. . Xanax I''ve limited to 1mg every night. Actually the Xanax doesn't do anything for me anymore except stabilize me.

Part of the reason I joined the forum is to share with the world the off label use of Abilify in low dosages alone along with a stable doseage of Xanax without any other Anti-Depressants to combat Bi-Polar II.

Remember this is my experience and my illness is fairly minor (exception of Panic attack and racing thoughts in morning) so I don't advocate my course of treatment for everyone.

Hey Mogli,

Good to hear from you. It's good to hear that someone else has the problem with depression (not that I'm glad you have it....you know what I mean) and still holds down a good job! And the mood swings are horrible!!!!!

Technically I am still studying, however I've let myself have some time off until the medication and my moods are sorted out (hopefully not too long). I have every intention of returning to study asap.

It's just a bit hard at the moment. wake up late every day with panic (taking Xanax) ; lie there mind racing, finally get up. Actually, I'm not going to describe the day for you, you probably know exactly what it's like.

I'll just say that this time is very confusing, particularly with some drugs leaving the system and some drugs entering the system........I guess my biggest fear is that the treatment won't work.........Or that the only treatment that will work will end up leaving me foggy, drugged and stupid and I won't be able to pursue the studies and career that I want.

Cheers