GRRRR!

Sorry to Rant?  Geez you have a good reason to!  You're pregnant, losing weight and getting dehydrated from the side effects of a medication that isn't even helping you and your pdoc won't return your call?  H E L L O!!!

I would call your OB doctor and tell them what is going on and ask that they get in touch with your pdoc for you.  Doctor's have a way of getting back in touch with each other right away.

You need to press the issue to your pdoc's office that you are really ill and endangering the health of not only you but your unborn child!!!  Maybe they aren't even aware of how serious things are going for you right now. (Being Pregnant)  and if they are let your OB handle it for you!

Best of luck.

I went to my OB and counselor yesterday and told them everything that is going on and they both said to get a hold my my pdoc asap. I said I have been trying since last week and my OB said she would try to get a hold of him. Although, I am going to a military hospital and although they are pretty good there, they are busy as hell, which gives me little hope that she will have time to get a hold of him. My OB did a full blood work up to see if there is any underlying causes going on...SIX TUBES OF BLOOD DRAWN! And since I was dehydrated, I passed out during the blood draw....Woo-Hoo! She didn't realize how bad things were until she saw that I've lost more weight, then she was like, oh this definitely needs to change...Nah, really?!

It's Genetic~ I can't eat anything but bread, chicken and some fruits at this point in time and water. No meats, milk products, can't even hardly keep oatmeal down...I have tried everything that my OB has okay-ed and nothing is working. I was doing great at cutting out all the "bad" stuff from my diet...drinking and eating the right kind of things instead of caffeine, I just couldn't cut out bread cause I was craving sandwiches a lot, but I was eating them with 100% wheat bread.

He didn't give me anything for the anxiety and I've been having panic attacks for the past four days continuously. I'm pretty sure it's because of the dehydration and lack of food and frustration over everything all combined. I started smoking again because it has been helping the nausea and because of the frustration of it all. Although, the fact that I'm smoking while pregnant is making me have these overwhelming feeling of hatred towards myself for not being strong enough to quit for my baby. My husband has been really good through all this, but you can tel he's getting frustrated with everything. My counselor has suggested I get a different pdoc, who is more attentive towards my "special" needs at the moment. My daughter is constantly asking me if I'm okay and seeing if there is anything she can do to help me feel better. She's 8 and shouldn't have to do that. I understand that the OB is wanting me to stay on meds because of my moods, but I have two other children to take care of other than this baby inside of me. And if theses meds are doing something to harm the baby also, then I just don't see the point in continuing them at all. Okay, going to take some anti-nausea meds and try to eat something, starting to get worked up and light headed. Then, onto call the doc AGAIN!

Oh, and thank you for the advice and kind words...It really does help to see that some people are listening to me.

((hugs))

I remember being super sick during pregnancy. 1 minute after baby was born, I weighed LESS than my pre-pregnancy weight! At one point, I was on a med (IV, in the hospital) that made me throw up every time I ate or drank. I couldn't so much as lick a popsicle without puking.

My OB told me to eat ANYTHING I could. At one point she told me to take one bite of food every 10 minutes. She told me to eat pizza and ice cream if that was what it took to get me to eat. I lived through pregnancy on ice cream and carnation instant breakfast mixed together, and one flavor of yogurt.

Can you see a different pdoc? It sounds like it WORTH IT to go to an out-of-network pdoc and pay the extra cost. I know money is tight, but your health is worth it. Your health is PRICELESS. I really don't care if it takes you years to pay it off, I really want you to go to a different Dr. I WILL SEND YOU MONEY IF IT HELPS!

I wish there was more I could do for you. You are amzing me by your ability to hang in there. You are one tough cookie! Don't feel guilty for anything, it will not help. I know you are doing the very best that you can!

Mmmm.... How does an Edy's all fruit popsicle sound? Yummy!

Those things do sound so good! I had a popsicle with my daughter yesterday and that went great. Made some tuna casserole last night, but could only eat about 5 bites. I tried going back through the evening and eating more, since I was keeping it down, but my stomach was is such knots, that every time I ate more, I just felt sick. I was able to keep down a peanut butter sandwich this morning and have been drinking vitamin water all day. My staomach is feeling better today, but my head is still killing me. I've been a bit manic today...cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, making lists, and going through in my head ALL the things I need to get done. My poor baby boy has a stomach virus and pooed all over his bed this morning, which made me lose my oatmeal I eat earlier. He is still acting all happy, just sleeping a bunch and of course the upset stomach.
Thank you Tort and Navy for the tips and kind words. I think I am going to try calling a few other places today and see about getting into a different pdoc. Maybe the side affects of the meds are starting to wear down though! I'm hoping at least...gotta try and stay positive. Hubby has been in a weird mood the past few days, so I feel like I HAVE to be okay. It's just not cool when BOTH of us are in a bad or icky mood together lol

ok this might be a stupid question, but as you know I have a super sensitive GI system so vitiman waters are a no go for me (white ginger peach tea is about as wild as I get, cause for me the ginger is good for my constant stomach issues), could they be effecting your nausea? You might think about a low residue diet, or very simple foods like what you would feed a small child (my neice gave me that idea)?

A friend wrote this to me with my recent crisis:

"Please remember a beautiful saying I heard- "It doesn't matter what you feel, the truth doesn't change based on your feelings. I often feel like I NEED to be loved and that I NEED to make a difference in this world. It sure doesn't FEEL like I do sometimes or maybe even at all. But the TRUTH is...those qualities- to be loved, to be needed, to be useful and important- are all qualities of God that he gave us in his image. He could have made us Robots, but instead he wanted us to choose to love Him, He NEEDED to know we chose to love him. Us humans want the same thing. Sometimes we don't realize all the people that DO love us- life can get inthe way alot. I have felt unloved and unworthy lately myself. Rob and I have been going through rought stuff also. He's annoyed with my youthful silliness- I got two major traffic tickets in the last two weeks, I'm horrible at finances, I never get the house fully clean, Jacob is being horrible and I let it go and I am waaaaaay overloaded on the dogs at the house. Too much stuff, not enough time, I've been waiting to go to court for the portective order violation this month- STRESS! and it creates conflict.

But in the end, the feelings are bad, but what is the truth? That the dogs will go home to their owners soon, Jacob will get better and pass this phase, the the house will get cleaner step by step, that my ticket will teach my to save gas and then use my bluetooth and be safer, and that Rob and I are going to be okay. Irritation at eachother is normal. It doesn't mean that all is lost and void. But rather that it's a good part of learning about eachother and CHOOSING to love eachother, even when we don't feel in passionately inside our hearts that day. It's about relaxing and slowing down and knowing that this too shall pass.

So, the truth applied in your situation is that you are feeling a normal desire to be needed and loved, and a normal reaction to pain and misunderstandings and hurt. That you are being open, strong and courageous about your reality and your lifestyle and personal difficulties (we ALL have them!) and it can be hard to accept that others may not relate and always understand or grasp what that's like for you- but you are still YOU! Wonderful [tortoise]. You are a woman, a mom, a trainer, a brilliant artist and entrpreneur, a caring person with a huge capacity to love and share, to empathize and compassionately help others.

Sometimes when I do not feel good about myself. It helps to help others. Knowing you how I do, I've see that this is true with you also. You are happiest and most satisfied with life when you are attending and serving other's needs. People who have it worse that we do- the unemployed, the sick, the homeless, the hungry, the children, the others that know not the gifts and joys of life that we both do. Is there a place that you can go dedicate some time to those in need? This heals the soul and the heart. Go with [your son] to a nursing home and ask to visit with those that never see their families and are lost, old, and dying. The wisdom these people have is immense! Hold their hand and let [your son] talk with them. :) "

Can you apply this to your situation?

In addition to what my friend talks about, I think you have a problem with EXPECTATIONS and being rigid in them. Can you talk to a therapist?

It sounds like life is getting more complicated for you, BUT if you don't have rigid expectations of the future, you will be able to adapt without all the stress.

This is something you (hopefully will not) may learn with bipolar. I can' tell you how many times I've lost everything important in my life and have had to pick up the pieces and start over with nothing. These experiences have really changed how I look at the future.

I'm engaged. I could be a bridezilla and have this big perfect daydream of a wedding and freak out if anything isn't perfect to my expectation. But instead, I simply have a few ideas of what is appealing to me. I fully realize that we may not get married, or we might not have a ceremony, or that it might be several years, rather than the 1 - 2 years most people expect.

Being flexible in my expectations is a powerful coping skill to help me to adapt to having this illness. My plans and schedules always have a contigency built in. If I am in this mood my schedule is ______. If I am in that mood my schedule is ______. I make to-do lists and daily, weekly calandars, but they change CONSTANTLY according to my mood. Because I EXPECT that, I don't get caught up in it or feel guilty.

I know this is hard to hear because you don't want to think differently - you want everything to happen the way it's supposed to!

Can you reply and list the FACTS of the situation you are in objectively? Just try it!