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Help! Full on mixed episode or hypomanic!!!!!!

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 9/11/2010 9:14 AM (GMT 0)
How do I bring myself down when I'm REALLY hypomanic? I'm scared to go and do heaps of exercise as last time I was hypomanic like this (a few months ago just before I was diagnosed with BPII) it made things worse. 2 nights ago I had a fight with my partner ( along standing issue.) and I ended up physically pushing and kicking her out of bed, calling her a c*nt and telling her what I thought of her and how she was acting on this issue. I don't think I was out of order to be angry over this issue (it's been going on 7 years) and a few things I said about how she was acting I should have said a long time ago. But I should NEVER have physically pushed her out of bed and I should NEVER have verbally abused her in that way!!!!! It's my anger and I AM RESPONSIBLE for how I react to it!!!!! I've spent the two days since this happenned in bed to ensure I don't do anything (I don't trust myself, I've never liked violence even though I know I have it in me and I have NEVER physically hurt a woman (though I have felt like it!)). I am also really scared I'm going to do something to traumatise my kids (4 year old girl and 2.5 year old boy) who mean everything to me! I'm scared I'm traumatising them in some way just by being ill! Do I spend the rest of my life in bed now? (It's what I've been doing when I've been depressed also) I'm calling my psychiatrist on Monday (Saturday now....)I need some help.......
Posted 9/11/2010 1:35 PM (GMT 0)
well its good you hve an appoitment on monday to get your hypomania under control. untill then avoid caffenne, alchol, drugs, anything that can get you even higher. excersise as much as you can, sleep if you can but if sleep wont come then do something to keep busy.

     it sounds like you might be on the verge of a major mania. i get lots of hypomania and have learned to cope with it well. its when i get to much mania that i have issues. and in fact my meds are designed to keep my manias under control.

   You can get thru this, things will get.better. once you get a med that works life is quite a bit easier.

   And getting your wife help is also important also. She needs to get educated as to what this desease does and what it doesnt do. SHe will need to learn what she needs to spot to help you see problems before they get to this. BTW my wife wasnt interested in gettingn this help, thought it was all my problem and i should be the one to handle it. Well thanks to that we are now getting divorced. It sucks but honestly this is a desease that affects BOTH people in the marriage. Not just one of you.

   Bill  

Posted 9/12/2010 1:14 AM (GMT 0)
I think I need to clarify! I pushed my girlfriend out of the bed with hands and feet. In no way is this acceptable but I did not punch or kick her! I didn't explain myself properly in my initial post as I was hypomanic, (I know I did use the words push and kick) In Australia if I said I 'kicked someone out of the house' it would mean I either asked them to leave or yelled at them to leave. It did scare me as pushing my girlfriend out of bed felt very violent to me as it IS something I grew up with and something that scares me. (I think every person that grew up with trauma is afraid that they are capable of the same actions.) I was however verbally abusive. My partner has recently started talking to someone for the first time (psychologist). I think she'll probably be okay without jumping straight on medication although I'm sure she would take it if she needed it! Thank you both for your concern and I will keep you posted!
Posted 9/12/2010 8:40 AM (GMT 0)
I have come back down and do feel a lot more in control of myself. Have spoken in depth with my partner about the incident the other night. The physically pushing her out of bed was not acceptable (I'm not trying to say it was.....it is not) but she said I may have blown it out of proportion in my mind. The verbal abuse hit her quite hard though and it's a bit scary that she's now experienced something I grew up with. She's going to talk to her psychologist about it.
I was relatively ok with my past for years after getting help etc about 6 years ago. Things would pop up every now and again but my psychiatrist had taught me how to deal with the emotions/memories. Now that I'm having a bipolar episode (or rapid cycling or whatever it is) it seems to be bringing up a lot of stuff again..........
My partner and I had just agreed to go and have couples counseling when I had my first episode....it seems to be on the backburner now.....we need (I need) to sort this stuff out though as it comes up when I'm hypomanic and angry.

Thank you for giving a sh$t It's Genetic (and Happy Bill),

I'll keep you posted,
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