Anxiety Going Crazy

I just had an hour long anxiety attack earlier. I haven't had one that bad in over a year. I couldn't stop crying and I was really freaking my boyfriend out because he's never seen me have on that bad. So he was kind of mean, with the "Why are you being so emotional?!" and I know he said it because he was freaked out, but sometimes I wish he could be in my head for a week. I love him to death, and he's pretty supportive, I'm hoping to find a book on how to deal with stuff. This is new to me and really, really new to him. Anyone have suggestions of a forum or even book that could help him out maybe? As for the anxiety attack, I took a klonopin and tossed myself in a scolding hot shower(which is my substitute for cutting when my anxiety gets bad), I'm calmed down mostly now, still a little shaky. I just hope this isn't going to keep happening. I feel like I'm paranoid about things constantly and my anxiety is up for everything. There are morning I can't even go to school, just because my anxiety is up for driving. When will this stupid sickness, disease, whatever you call it, stop dictating huge, important parts to my life?!

It probably didn't help that I finished and sent out a letter to me Dad, explaining that until he is ready to step up and be a constant person in my life then he needed to just stay out of my life because him calling and then not, his instability causes my depression to get horrible sometimes and I've finally realized that it's not fair for me to let him do that. So I told him if he's ever ready to be a stable person in my life he is more than welcome but until then I don't want him in it at all. Does that make me a crappy person? Maye selfish? I don't know. But I have so many things going on in my life, that feel like my head is going to explode.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It always seems to come up at the worst times!

The first book I can recommend is "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" - excellent book!

As far as anxiety attacks, it's very hard on loved ones (especially men), because they don't know what to do and have no control over it. You need to tell him what he should or should not do when it happens again.

Ideas? If I go into the bedroom, my fiance will leave me totally alone. If I stay on the couch, he *might* come sit with me for a minute and put an arm around me. BUT in public, he will ask "Are you OK?" If we're say... grocery shopping, he'll distract me usually by starting a conversation about food additives which is a pet peeve, or by asking me to check food labels. At an auction or a bar (big triggers), he will mostly do his own thing, but he'll stand behind me and rub my back gently. It works.

What works for you? Tell him so the next attack isn't so stressful for HIM.

As far as your Dad, I'm with you. IF you wrote the letter kindly (firmly), and tactfully, then you're starting to set healthy boundaries to keep yourself well. It was a much mature decision that simply cutting off contact with no explanation.

Did you suffer through an hour of anxiety before you took Klonopin? That is what I had been doing, but yesterday, my pdoc told me to take it right away.

Oh, and I will go and order that book right now for him! Thanks, must be good if two people recommended it!

I'm noticing that with limitations honestly, what I could do in high school, compared to now, the older I am getting the worse my anxiety. By the time i'm 30 I won't be able to leave my house, that's what my pdoc is scared of and that's what he's working towards finding me an anxiety med that REALLY works.

For your anxiety, my therapist reccomended for me to read "When Panic Attacks" by David Burns.  Ive yet to have enough money to go out and get it but she seems to think that along with medicine it really helps with panic attacks and anxiety by teaching you coping skills and helping you to better understand anxiety.