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Posted 10/20/2010 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
I'm "newly diagnosed", I was diagnosed last February and since have had a crazy ride. I'm uninsured and so far have had a miserable time trying to find insurance. I'm 20, bi polar I rapid cycling, sever anxiety/panic attacks, borderline personality disorder and some paranoia(which I'm told is just part of being bi polar). I wonder how someone can have ALL of these things, where does one stop and the other begin? I've just got back to taking 400mg seroquel and .5mg clonazepam. I have severe anxiety/panic attacks which is making college a very big challenge for me. I've promised myself I'm not going to stop the meds this time, for any reason. The last year of my life has been crazy and I've had problems with depression since I was 7, and jumped to bi polar somewhere around the age of 12 from what my pdoc says. I'm struggling to accept that this "disease" has taken away so many years of my life. I lost out and went through a lot as a teen and some how no doctor picked up on it, so Im trying to handle all the bitterness I have. But I'm glad I've found an active forum, I think I'll enjoy it here with others who are going through the same things.
Posted 10/20/2010 4:21 PM (GMT 0)
Welcome.. to the board you will like it here......

hugs,Caren 

Posted 10/20/2010 5:13 PM (GMT 0)
Life is a daily challenge, isn't it? Just keep your chin up and know that you can take on anything you put your mind to.
Welcome to the forum!!
-Jeny
Posted 10/20/2010 8:13 PM (GMT 0)
I think I have said the same thing word-for-word here. I completely identify with you.

I dropped out of college. Three times. I couldn't do it even with medication and disability accomodations.

Bipolar + Anxiety is a cruel combination.
Posted 10/20/2010 8:27 PM (GMT 0)
It is a real challenge tortiose, this is my first semester, as a psych major no less and while they seem to be helping me I started out with 5 classes, withdrew from 2, I just fniahed one class and i have 2 more to finish. I don't want to spend SO much extra time on a degree when I've had years of my life taken away from this disease already. It's not fair and I know that sounds childish but people around me are sooo worried about getting their make up perfect in the morning while I'm worried if I'll even be able to get UP in the morning. I want my chance to prove I can do this without failing. I dropped out of high school with a 3.7(out of 4.0) GPA because of my moods and constant anxiety and they failed me for missing school(this is pre diagnosis), and I had to get a GED because I couldn't deal with people. I just want to succeed in this ONE thing in my life after having failed at so many others.
Posted 10/20/2010 8:30 PM (GMT 0)
It's a BIG challenge, but your determination will take you a long way. Are you getting disability accomodations? They can do A LOT for you and it's confidential, of course.
Posted 10/20/2010 8:31 PM (GMT 0)
Im going through the same thing with college.  Ive always been an all A student but this past semester Ive had no intrest or motivation to do anything school orientated.  I also have intense anxiety and panic attacks and am dealing with PTSD.  Believe me I understand how frustrating college is and it would be nice to talk to you about what you are doing to try to stay focused and motivated.  It might help to exchange ideas :)
Posted 10/23/2010 1:37 AM (GMT 0)
I agree with exchanging ideas Courtney! As for the disability at school, I just got my paperwork filled out, but I'm really not sure what they can do for me. I tend to load a lot on myself because i know I'm smart enough to do all of it, but my anxiety/bi polar which ever one decides to "love on me" that day, seems to think differently. My anxiety is what is the worst, trying to walk into a building I know is filled with people I don't know....not my ideal situation. What did they do for you with disability accommodations Tortoise? Do they accommodate you at school Courtney?
Posted 10/23/2010 11:18 PM (GMT 0)
no i didnt even know that you could get disability accomodations.  Did you just talk to the disablitly office at your school?  What do they entail?  ill have to try to look into that.
Posted 10/24/2010 1:17 AM (GMT 0)
I looked on my schools website first, then got in contact with the disability counselor. I am still waiting for my meeting with him, ugh, seems like it's taking forever though.
Posted 10/24/2010 2:07 AM (GMT 0)
Courtney,

If your school does not have a office for students with disabilities, then you should speak with the office of the Dean of Students, and probably your school's counseling center as well.

I just graduated college in May, and had to utilize the disability services at my school (though the office of the Dean of Students) for 3 years, due to a debilitating eye injury. Basically all they needed was a letter from my doctor & a consult with the counseling center. In the end they really didn't do much for me, though. They got some of my books on tape & gave me time & a half on exams, but the rest I had to do for myself (which involved speaking with each of my professors each semester & explaining my situation & requesting other accommodations, like enlarged font on exams & paperwork, and extra time on assignments, if necessary). Fortunately all of my professors were always really understanding & willing to work with me (one of the good things about going to a small school).

At one point I did have to drop out of several classes mid-way one semester due to my visual problems & depression, & the Dean of Students office was no help there. I basically had to petition the Academic Affairs Committee on my own.

So basically, I'd say that it is definitely worth getting in touch with your school's disability services & to get the ball rolling, but don't necessarily expect a lot of help from them. Much of it is up to you.

hugs,
Skeye
Posted 10/25/2010 4:00 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks Skeye Im going to try to get in contact with my schools disability office tomorrow and ask about what they would be able to do; but, like you said, Im not expecting too much.  Mostly Im just really stressed out because I was diagnosed in September and since then my grades have just been falling.  Im not able to make myself take notes or pay attention, and thats just when Im able to make myslef go to class.  I dont know I just dont have any motivation--even though I need good grades if I want to get into Vet School.  Im not really sure if my declining performance is because of my hospitalization and sudden diagonsis or if its just me slacking off.  Anyways I was just hoping that with a little help maybe I would be able to return to my Dean's List status of last year.
Posted 10/25/2010 4:35 PM (GMT 0)
Hello all and welcome to the new members!

 

DoUTrip-I was like you at one point in my life in the sense that I was feeling lost?

 

For me, I really couldn't find my way to accept all of my diagnosis. I also didn't know where to begin to deal with it all. I think in my college days, I didn't believe there was a way.

 

There is a way to live with this the best way we can in order for it to allow us to be successful. And I believe we all go through similar paths perhaps?

 

I am not saying this is you...but what I will describe was/is "me".

 

In college, I didn't deal with my bipolar (I wasn't accurately diagnosed yet) and I did not deal with my panic attacks and anxiety. I didn't complete my diploma and before I knew it I was working in all kinds of stressful call centres all the while falling down this hole. I had two hospitalizations and didn't take the chance to learn something from them right away.

 

Then! My pdoc of 8 years helped me get into two support groups at the hospital. One was for bipolar and the other was for anxiety. They truly truly saved my life. I finally learned, that yes, I can control this illness to some degree. I learned I can contribute to my well being!!!! It is all about coping strategies, and coping means doing some work (lol unfortunately).

 

In the groups we went through a lot of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). I since have also purchased workbooks for various mental illness which aslo included step by step processes along with information.

 

Mental illness is something that has to be a work-in-progress. On my bad days, I try not to be too hard on myself, but at the same time I try and tell myself "Come on girl, fight through this" and I ask myself "how can I help myself through this one thing at this moment, and when I get home from work etc". On good days (this can be tricky bc some good days can be GREAT/Manic days lol) I watch myself and make sure I'm not exhibiting manic symptoms.

 

I live by some "Bp Rules" and "Anxiety/panic Rules" which aren't the worst thing in the world....like stay away from alcohol and/or drugs, appropriate diet, no spending money, calling pdoc whenever those red flags show up, mood chart, reach out for support (for me that is here on HW), go to counselling, take my meds etc..

 

I can provide more input, I just wanted to give you the idea that yes, this is very unfair for all of us, but you can get through your college and career and life successfuly in spite of your illness!

 

Hugs,

Mogs

Posted 10/25/2010 11:40 PM (GMT 0)
Courtney,

I'm actually currently in the process of applying to veterinary school (one more app to go!), so I can relate to the pressure that you are under to maintain good grades, etc. I never planned on taking time off after graduation, but because of issues with my eye injury and depression, I ended up deciding to take time off to recuperate (I just graduated in May). It was probably the best decision I made. Having gone through the application process now (when I'm out of school, but working), I know that I wouldn't have been able to handle that while in school, as I had a hard enough time getting through the apps with all my current problems and WITHOUT the additional stress of school.

My doctors & my parents really wanted me to take time off during the middle of my college years, but I stubbornly refused. Looking back on it, it probably would have been the smarter thing to do. I did well academically, but it was really rough on me. Don't be afraid to take some time off if you need to.

If there is anything I can do to help, or if you have any pre-vet questions, etc, feel free to email me.

hugs,
Skeye
Posted 10/26/2010 1:10 AM (GMT 0)
Thank you so much skeye, its really nice to know that there is someone else who understands all of the pressure Ive been under to get good grades with the future of more school looming over me.  My friends think that I need to take a break next semester but I am just really worried about putting myslef behind and possibly losing my scholarships.  Ill definetely have a lot of pre vet questions to ask you since they took that major out of my school and Im forced to be a wildlife ecology and conservation major.  What vet school did you end up getting into if you dont mind me asking?  I have my sights set on Oregon.
Posted 10/26/2010 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
Courtney,

You really don't want to be a "pre-vet major" anyway, because if for whatever reason you don't get in, or decide you don't want to go to vet school, then you graduate with a degree in pre-vet & that is worthless. You can major in whatever you want (even English or history), as long as you take the pre-req's (intro chem, organic chem, intro biology, physics, math, 1 yr of english... it varies a little depending on the school). There is a great book put out by Purdue, called "Veterinary Medical School Admission Requirements." They put out a new one each year, and it tells all the requirements for all the vet schools in the US (and ones outside of the US that are accredited by the US), as well as other statistics. You can also find the specific requirements for each school at the AAVMC website, www.aavmc.org/.

I was a biology major (started out as biochem, but had to change majors due to personal circumstances which lead to me having to drop out of some classes). I'm taking the year off at the moment & working as a vet tech (a job which I've held all throughout college and most of high school). I have applied to vet school for entry in 2011, but I won't hear back from any of the schools until this winter & then come interviews, etc. Basically, I won't know where I got in/ where I am going until May-ish.

Unfortunately, I live in a state that does not have it's own vet school & until recently did not have any contracts with any vet schools (although the contract that we have now is kinda sketchy). I applied to a bunch of schools, but I would really like to go to Cornell, UPenn, or Purdue (probably in that order). But we'll see. Honestly, I'm sure I'd be happy going any place that I got in.

Please do feel free to email me with any questions. Probably the most important thing to do, other than doing well in school, is get experience -- shadow a vet regularly, volunteer at a vet's office, volunteer at a zoo or wildlife facility, work at a farm or kennel, etc. The more experience you get the better & the wider range of species that you work with, the better. Large animal experience (horses, cows, sheep, goats, pigs, etc) is particularly important.

hugs,
Skeye


Doyoutriponair -- Sorry if I hijacked your thread! Didn't mean to!
Posted 10/27/2010 12:10 AM (GMT 0)
Thats really good to know, Ill be sure to stay in my major now.  Thank you so much for that website and the book reccomendation--Ive already looked throught the website and am going to try and get the book next time I go out.  I have volunteered at a zoo and a stable near my house for two years now and have had horses for about seven years but thats all the experience I have so far.  Ive been turning in applications to nearby animal hospitals but I havent heard anything back yet.  Heres hoping Im able to get a job like your sometime soon
Posted 10/27/2010 12:47 AM (GMT 0)
Courtney,

I started out just shadowing a vet, then it turned into volunteering, and within a matter of months, a part -time job. I worked 3 evenings a week and weekends all throughout high school & then kept my job working weekends throughout college (fortunately I went to school just an hour away, so I could come home weekends to work). Now I work at that very same clinic full time.

I'd suggest just calling around & asking to speak to the vet in charge of the clinic & tell them that you are a college student interested in veterinary medicine & would like to shadow them, etc. It doesn't have to start out as a paid position. Some places will say no (because of liability issues), but you are bound to find a clinic or two willing to have you hang around.

It's great that you have horses & have been working with them for a long time. I had horses when I was younger, but my horse died nearly 3 yrs ago. It's my dream to have horses again. I was really hoping to get one this year, but then the problem is what do I do with it when I go back to school next year? I can't afford to take it with me & it would break my heart to sell it, so I decided against it. I do think it would really help my psychological state to have a horse again, though. I miss riding & the companionship so much. Fortunately, I at least get to handle other people's horses at work, as the practice that I work at is a mixed small/large animal practice & we do a lot of horse & cattle work. I really love the large animal work. I want to either specialize as a large animal practitioner or work in a mixed practice once I get my DVM (or VMD).

Skeye
Posted 10/27/2010 1:29 AM (GMT 0)
Im sorry about your horse, I just lost my oldest one yesterday.  Its been kind of a hard couple of days, especially for my younger horse who is now alone.  I think Im going to start looking around for some kind of companion animal--a goat or sheep, just anything to keep him company.  Thanks for the advice on calling up and asking to shadow vets--Im going to start doing that tomorrow.  The vet that I use is only five minutes away from me right next to the zoo I volunteer at so Im hoping that they will accept me...it would make for much less driving and more saving on gas money.
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