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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 10/28/2010 5:41 PM (GMT 0)
I just confirmed my accont on this website and getting the hang of it.

Anyway I don't know if i should post here but here we go...

I think I may have bipolar disorder or maybe its in my head.

At random times I become very depressed thoughts of sucicde cloud my mind. This happens alot when im let alone or when just random times. If i get angry very quickly in a random moment I blow up and start throwing things trying to break stuff.

I think of violent thins to do to people. I fel everyone is out to get me or using me.

Id go see a docter but.....I don't know I just feel id be wasting time only for them to tell me nothings wrong but i feel something is

Maybe its just depression? Maybe its just Ange Management issues? I use to think I am just paranoid...

Do I have some sytomhs of bipolar or is it just really me being paranoid?/

Posted 10/28/2010 6:50 PM (GMT 0)
sStupidGirly---First of all the name StupidGirly should let you know that something is not right.  Maybe ConfusedGirly would be better honey.  Since the whole world seems to be confused anyway.  :)  If you feel that something is wrong with you, it probably is.  We know ourselves better than anyone else.  If you go see a Dr, and I hope you will, please try to make it a psychiatrist.  They are experienced with Bipolar more than a regular GP and will be able to better help you.  I get like you do and they've finally diagnosed me with BP 2 with ultrdian cycling because I can go through these episodes several times a day.  Not a good thing but maybe now I'll be able to get some help with what I've been going through for the past 45 years.  Good luck and let us know how you're doing.

Harleybluz

Posted 10/28/2010 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
Agree with the name change. Edit your profile.
Starting out at a GP is good in that it can eliminate the possibilities of a physical problem going on that is making your psychological problem worse. Blood tests can tell alot.
At that time maybe the GP will give you a referral to a psychiatrist. You don't mention your age, if you are under 20, there are special docs and therapists for adolescents.
The feelings and behavior you described are not normal. Something is definitely wrong. It could be depression, or more if you have manias, do you? Anger management is an excellent idea as an adjunct to psych care. Check out anger management programs in your area, Google. Ask Social Services in your town.
Like Harley said, you will make your life easier in the long run if you get help now.
If you can, make a mood diary, everyday, during the day, note your moods so you can show it to the doc or at least in your own mind be clear on how often these things happen to you. Must be very difficult for you, phew.
Keep posting.
Posted 10/29/2010 4:17 PM (GMT 0)
Ditto on the name hun. You're not helping yourself! It's easy to come online for feedback, but what you need to do is take responsibility for your health and take action. It sounds really scary, but getting evaluated by a psychiatrist is NOT a big scary experience.

You either find out that you having problems/challenges that are within the range of normal and you'll get directed to support and solutions. (That's GOOD news!) Or you will get on the road towards diagnosis of a mental illness and finding the treatment solution that works for you.
Posted 10/30/2010 12:47 PM (GMT 0)
I felt the same way about seeing a doctor and I am now 37 I finally did it. I wish I would have done it years ago. It is not as bad as you might imagine and the treatment seems to be helping me. I am not there yet but they are working on figuring out the right meds/dosage for me. Whether you need meds or not, they will be able to help you figure out what is going on and point you in the right direction for help.

It is obvious that you feel something isn't right so go talk to a doctor or psychiatrist. It will be pretty much painless and could help you a lot.
Posted 10/30/2010 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
I am new here too. What I find so frustrating is that the answer is always that a doctor and Meds are the only answer. about 6 years ago I was crying...like all the time. I finally broke down and went to a free counseling service through my work. I was there for 5 minutes and she said I needed to go straight to the doc. I did and then the drugs started. I was on lexapro for a while...It made me sleep all the time. I felt great...but was a zombie. Then they put me on prozac. I was on a low dosage for a year. When I had the money to fill my prescription and take my pills, I felt great! BUT gained a lot of weight. I am a 4'11" small framed woman and I wieghed 200 lbs. After a year of ignoring my real issues and medicating (legally). I left my husband and left the pills. It took months to figure out that exercise LONG HARD CARDIO workouts were really a huge help. I have slipped once again and am feeling the deep depression and anger (I totally get the desire to throw things and break them) sinking back in. So, I have to back up and look at what I am doing and try some new things. I have not worked out in MONTHS. That is NOT good. I have also not been going to church. We moved to a new city and I miss everything about home. Finding a strong network of people who believe as I do, who share my Faith was also a huge turning point for me when I chose not to take meds. I know I need to find a church home again and get connected. I certainly don't have all the answers, but I refuse to believe that the only answer is the healthcare industry and meds. And I disagree with everyone above about your name. You named yourself what you felt when you were crying out for help. When your feelings about yourself change, your name will change. You are on the right track already because you have reached out for help here. I will be praying for you AND ME! Try a little walk every once in a while and so will I. :)
Posted 10/30/2010 4:56 PM (GMT 0)
"So, I have to back up and look at what I am doing and try some new things.
I have not worked out in MONTHS. That is NOT good.
I have also not been going to church.
I know I need to find a church home again and get connected. "

You are very bitter about your experience with psychiatrists and meds. They save people's lives. People who have reached a certain low level of depression cannot just pull themselves out of it by taking a little walk.
Problems like our "poster" have (I can't even bring myself to call her THAT name) anyway, those kind of symptoms must be checked out by a GP for possible physical link, and if needed after that evaluation, referral to a psych for further diagnosis.
Perhaps you didn't take the initiative while ON the meds to help yourself.
It takes a lot of self-discipline, determination and sometimes someone to suggest things. If you don't have such a supportive person in your life, you could sit there forever if you don't seek help.
Self-esteem is important, self denegration is pitiful, and naming yourself as such is a cry for help.
We are responding to that.

You have identified some things you need to do to get back on your feet. Hope it goes well. Have moved long distances myself, it is not easy.

Church doesn't do it for some people, personally, all the prayers, having hands-laid on, annoiinted in oil, water baptism, being born in the spirit and special scriptures just prolonged my agony. Faith and hope are great, self-discipline, fellow-shipping are too. They don't necessarily, if ever, CURE mental illness, or even help enough.

Going to take a little walk, Bye

Post Edited (Trying to Understand) : 10/30/2010 11:03:19 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/30/2010 5:57 PM (GMT 0)
I don't think that anyone should be discouraged from seeking help when something is wrong. Whether it ends in therapy, medication, or neither. Nothing is worse
than not knowing especially when you are having thoughts of suicide,

I say go and talk to someone and see how it goes. You are not required to take any meds or do therapy but it might help you get a handle on what's going on.

Tim
Posted 11/2/2010 6:10 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you everyone!!!
The name was just something i just randomly put down and I guess it can do with my dead self esteem.
I am under the age 20 . I'm actually 16 years old. I think I have anger management issues but they are not so bad I can still kinda control myself.
I will take everyones advice and talk to someone in confidence face to face.
Posted 11/2/2010 8:00 PM (GMT 0)
You DESERVE help. Don't let yourself get ignored or put off. When I was 14 I first heard about bipolar disorder in a health class video. I was IMMEDIATELY like, "OMG, that's ME!" I talked to the teacher after class and he TOTALLY blew me off. I was so hurt and it had a lot to do with me not getting diagnosed until I was 25!

People might write it off as "a teenage phase." ONLY a psychiatrist can make that determination. Don't let anyone else do that!
Posted 11/3/2010 9:14 PM (GMT 0)
How should I talk to my parents about this? (since i'm pretty sure it cost money and I need my parents permission to see a psychiatrist) how should I talk to them? What do I say??? Is there any way I can go on my own to talk. Is a counselor like a school counselor able to accurately diagnose me.

Im sorry if these questions are so obviously stupid......but I will appreciate the help : )
Posted 11/3/2010 9:48 PM (GMT 0)
A counselor at school can't diagnose you but they may be able to help with talking to your parents. They may also know of resources that may be useful.
Posted 11/4/2010 9:17 PM (GMT 0)
thank u
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