It's hard for normal people to understand, my wife included. Our minds are not firing right when we are manic, we have little or no control over our decisions. We lie, cheat, steal, and worse. But in our minds it all makes complete and total sense. When i was out of control and manic i was sure i was completely sane and rational.
It is both an excuse and not an excuse. I take meds every day, and in two years have had one major mania. During it i recognized that i was in a mania and got help. That in the end is the ultimate best outcome. Even with meds, we can still lose it. Meds help alot, but remember its still inside us, waiting for a chance to get loose and cause havoc.
In the end you have to decide if you can live with this. I had a wonderful lady in my life who was an alcholic, and even though i loved her and got along great with her, i couldnt live with the alcholism. The never knowing what i was going to come home to. Its a question you will have to eventually ask yourself. If your love is enough to help you get over these bad periods.
GOod luck.
Bill