I know I have been MIA for awhile...I have been "lurking" on the site trying to keep up with every one, but I had so much crud going on, I couldn't even begin to address it. Without the boring details I had a couple physical issues going on most of mid-summer to Oct. Nothing to get excited over....just very time consuming and it was definitely a strange experience to have my physical health take precedence over my mental health. Bi=polar has always been in the forefront and putting in on the back burner for 3 months was definitely a weird feeling. However, it all came back with a with a bang when my pdoc put me on 125mg of Topamax to help me lose weight. This drug is an anti-convulsant used with bi-ploar folks to level mood, but it also hugely suppresses your appetite. Also, comes with a big warning that it can cause super depression and sucidal thoughts in some folks. Huge depression and suicidal ideation has always been an issue for me, so I should have thought a little more about
going on this drug. Amyway, within a week I was over the top depressed with suicidal thoughts. All down hill after that into hallucinations, psychotic episodes...I was just sort of walking around saying "Hmmmm....is that real or not real?" Here is the scary part.....I am a marriage counselor and I still kept working....all I gotta say, is my poor, poor clients and I still have my license to practice. My husband lives in this little world of denial....the crazier I get, the more he ignores it or intervenes.
Finally my paramedic son threw out the topamax (after 24 days of utter insanity), called all my clients and told them I was on temporary leave from work, yelled at his Dad and within less than a week I was my normal bi=polar self. I have been in this bi-polar business for a good 35 years now and never, ever have I gone so crazy. My pdoc's summary of the reaction was he guessed considering my psych history, it didn't surprise him.
I realize not everyone reacts to this drug as I did, but not too long ago I had a depressed client who flipped out when put on topamax. I guess a new rule for me is to never go on a psych drug to treat something like weight loss....psych drugs should only be taken for psych reasons. I would not wish my experience on anyone....just be careful if this drug comes up as a possibility.
Anyway...Iam back