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upping my dosage of lamictal

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 1/1/2011 12:38 AM (GMT 0)
After being diagnosed with bi polar type 1, I was prescribed lamictal and started at a low dose of only 25mg... I've slowly been increasing it.. First to 50mg, and yesterday it was raised to 100mg.. Then, a week from now, I'll go up to 200mg. I'm pretty happy with this medication so far. It's stabilizing my mood, and my mood swings. I'm having less manic episodes the higher the dosage gets, although they haven't completely stopped. I'm starting to feel better and better everyday. And when I'm having an anxiety attack or manic episode, the klonopin helps a lot.

I've been going to therapy weekly, and the sessions are getting more and more intense as we're starting to talk about things from my past I've tried so hard to forget about. I sometimes wonder if therapy is helping or making it worse by making me relive and remember all the things that's caused so much depression and anxiety in my life. But I know that talking about it is really the only way to overcome these tramatic memories. Has anyone else felt that way about therapy?
Posted 1/1/2011 1:24 AM (GMT 0)
Nope. My therapist is useless. :D

I'm glad you're finding something that is working for you. :)
Posted 1/1/2011 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
Lol @ ur therapy comment... I like mine, I'm just so emotionally drained when I walk out of there... Its intense for me!

How are you doing?
Posted 1/1/2011 5:33 AM (GMT 0)
I'm doing much better now that I have people harassing me to take my medications and I've gone about a week without missing a dose.

My therapist literally has no plan or agenda. Frustrating! No homework, no coping skills, no questions... just wierd.
Posted 1/1/2011 5:58 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah! You need to take your meds!!!... And as far as your therapist goes, request another one lol... Mine ask all kinds of questions and always has some lil homework assignments she gives me... Also, coping skills and advice for certain situations I struggle with... Your therapist sounds like he/she sucks!
Posted 1/5/2011 4:28 AM (GMT 0)
Hey there.....yeah everyone knows you have to take your meds to stay well but I must say, it does get frustrating taking 7 pills every night. Sometimes I look at them and my stomach automaticly turns. As for therapy.....I'm happy with the ones I have right now, my pdoc is attentive and my therapist is still getting to know me. she's given me a little homework here and there and although some of the crap that's dug up feeds the illness, it also helps me to understand it. She tries to keep the trauma manageable and generally gives me 5 or 10 min to wind down.

Dealing with the illness is hard. I once had a family member tell me it was like a being an alcoholic, if you weren't ready to admit you had a problem and wanted to get better, you never would. To say the least....her analogy pissed me off. My Dr gave me a better one. She said it was more like a broken bone. You have to go to the Dr and do the necessary therapy but in the end you still have to wait for the bone to heal.
Posted 1/5/2011 9:08 AM (GMT 0)
Yeah, takin all the pills gets old!!! I had to get one of those weekly little pills schedule boxes and I fill it up weekly so I know what I've taken lol... It makes me feel like an old lady.
Posted 1/6/2011 7:49 PM (GMT 0)
The pills and the therapy are both wearing on me right now. I have to change docs AGAIN because this one doesn't pay attention. Have never figured out if it's me or my doctors. I get to a point where the meds don't work, but I can't convince my doc until it is too late and I wind up in the hospital. Completely agree that taking a handful every morning and every night sucks.

I had a therapist I loved but she quit practicing. The one I have now has said "bipolar is a matter of perspective. The episodes only bother you if you let them." Yeah, when I'm only getting 3 hours sleep, and I'm ripping my poor husband's throat out over nothing that's me manic. I shouldn't let that bother me though. Hmmm.

Good therapists are great though. Mine never gave me homework, but I always felt like I had a safe place to be and to talk. For once in my life I wasn't getting judged for who I am or what I've done or what I'm diagnosed with. Dealing with the emotional stuff is hard, but with the right person it can be a huge help.

Good luck
Posted 1/6/2011 8:41 PM (GMT 0)
I love my therapist, but then again, she's the only one I've ever had, so I don't know the difference between her and another. I have therapy today at 5:00 and I'm feeling like crap today. I've been in bed all day, and kind of feeling like I'm going to have a seizure, I don't know though because the feeling I get before a seizure is somewhat similar to the way I feel b4 a panic attack... Maybe I'm just feeling this way because I know today's session is going to be very emotional for me due to the topic of discussion, I'm supposed to go weekly, but I cancelled my last appointment to avoid this conversation, and avoid sharing the homework assignment she gave me last time. I just don't feel like crying .

As far as the lack of sleep, I'm right there with you! I'm lucky to get 3 hours of sleep a night, then find myself in bed all day! And I always feel exhausted. My doc wants me to try sleeping pills but I turned them down last time they were offered. But I think I'm going to request them this time... I don't know what else to do. They said the klonopin at bedtime should help relax me, but it don't. It barely helps during a panic attack anymore. I'm also prescribed xanax, but I rarely take it.

Sorry to hear about your need to switch docs and all that... Seems like you're having a hard time. And your therapist sounds like maybe she doesn't completely know what she's talking about w/ bi polar disorder. It sucks when you feel like nobody's listening when you're screaming out for help, and in so many cases, people end up having a mental breakdown. That's one of the reasons I love this site... If I feel like nobody else in the world understands me, I know the people on here will...

Feel free anytime, I'm here to talk.
Posted 1/6/2011 8:58 PM (GMT 0)
I just re-read your post... The part where you said, your therapist said "bipolar is a matter of perspective. The episodes only bother you if you let them.". That pissed me off (excuse my language) but what the hell?! Its a chemical imbalance in our brain. Its a life lond disorder without a cure... If that was my therapist, I would've went off on her!!! I have violent manic episodes and I'm very quick tempered. I punched my fiancé in the gut one morning for falling asleep on the couch n not coming to bed... It was horrible and I felt bad. But when I told my therapist, I didn't feel judged... She just helps me understand why I lash out and helps me find other ways to do things.
Posted 1/6/2011 10:30 PM (GMT 0)
I hope your appointment goes well. Yes I was pretty pissed, but like always I just shut down. I haven't been back to her since. I keep putting off finding somebody because I'm going to have to talk about my ex-husband's recent suicide, and I don't even want to. Like you said I just don't feel like crying about it. I completely relate to the anger. I feel like crap when I get mad at Jay. In 6 years and all the hell I've given him it is so rare for him to even raise his voice. He's good to me. I have a hard time some days being patient enough with him. He has chronic back problems and I'm his primary caregiver. Not a good situation when I'm manic and can't deal with his needs and mine,but I'm learning how to step back when I need to. I am sooo glad I found this place. Nice to know I'm not the only one that has these problems.
Posted 1/7/2011 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
I know you want to put off finding a new therapist, but you really need to. Whether or not you want to talk about his suicide (which is very unfortunate and I'm sorry for your loss), you might need to talk about it to help you cope! But just remember, you don't have to talk about anything that your not comfortable or ready to talk about!!! I talked about a lot of emotional things today in therapy and cried the whole time, but I felt a lil better letting it all out. I know dealing with the therapy in the moment is hard, but in the long run, its very beneficial.
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