Being judged at work now

When i I told my boss I needed to cut hours back due to an illness and presented her with a Drs. Note this week I thought I had done so well in making the choice to put my health first. And I know I have.

However, my boss asked me 3 times what my illness was. I told her first I didn't want to say, I told her 2nd that I didn't want to say because it carried a stigma. I thought she would then leave it alone. Then she asked a 3rd time and I told I had bipolar disorder. It ended up going quite well after that. She told me I never had to worry about her with any of it and that her sister had it. We hugged each other, she agreed to cut my eked. Bck and all was well.

Then after 2days off I'm back at work and everyone is asking me how I am feeling. They all know that my hours are cut back and that I have bipolar. Why did my boss tell all of them? They keep asking me how I feel. One lady said she would never go on meds for anything that she would treat the cause not the end result, one lady acted like I thought she was stealing and showed me her bag full of Tupperware and said that desperate people stole from the store, and one lady just treated me with a cold shoulder and said there had been lots of problems and one lady said she Had to work 40hours...that it wasn't a choice. I felt left out and different all day and ashamed that I wasn't as tough as them. They treated me different...like with kid gloves and not nearly as warm...like they kept their distance.

I told myself over and over...it doesn't matter what other people think...to thine own self be true. I had to replay the events of the last 3 months in my head and I know my illness worsened because of the long hours at work. I was beginning to forget why I had cut my hours back. I replayed everything in my mind and knew I had made therightchoice. My manager crosses boundaries all the time and is a very difficult person to work with. I don't think she was allowed to ask me what my illness was and after 3 times I just caved.

I wonder if i'm going to lose my job under some other sort of guise they make up bc they don't want me in there. And they all loved me so much. I am doing very well there.

Hey there Red, I'm sorry to hear about the problems that you're going through right now. I can relate to some of the feelings you're having. I have been diagnosed by a few therepists (because I didnt believe their diagnosis) as having severe anxiety/depression problems. I swear to god I feel like I must be bipolar, but regardless my mood swings and my irritability are very hard to manage at times.

The job I have now I started back in october, I was only part time then and even though I was making more mistakes then (was new to the financial/banking industry so I think thats kind of normal to make mistakes with, or so I've been told), and now I've gotten better at correcting those. But I feel like I was happier and more pleasant then at work then I am now. A full time spot opened up at the branch I work at so I took it, and have been working well there for about 3-4 months. The added stress is starting to get to me though. It's a crazy stressful job, as I'm sure just about every job is, not claiming that mine is anymore then others....but it legitimately makes me feel like I'm going crazy a lot. It's started to affect my mood there, and even after hours too. Just irritable and grumpy a lot.

Just figured I'd share that part with you and let you know you're not alone for having those problems. And I really was shocked when you said that you had trouble dealing with the fact that you couldn't be as tough as them. That's my NUMBER 1 problem I am having now with recovering. I feel weak and beneath anybody who doesn't have anxiety/depression problems. I feel abnormal, and the problem with this illness or whatever you want to call it, is the stigma. You're 100% right with that. I don't know why it has the stigma, but there is certainly one surrounding people who are depressed/anxious/bipolar.

One bit of advice, and I know it is a little too late for this....you have to really be sure to trust anyone that you're giving that information out to. If you're confiding to someone that you have bipolar illness, you want to make sure it stays confidential. I don't really blame your boss too much for telling everyone because honestly, that's what people do. People talk, and can't keep secrets. I told my parents a year and a half ago that I was starting to take cymbalta, and my dad announces to the world at a big family party and starts calling me cymbalta boy. I'm sure he got a kick out of it, I just wanted to throw him through a window. It's not funny, and I do feel your pain with having to deal with the shame.

I'm not sure where you work, if it's in a chain of stores maybe you could request a transfer and start fresh? Or maybe just try to not bring it up around your coworkers and try your best to ignore that they know? You'd be surprised how quick people are to forget about things if they aren't exposed to it that often. I'm sure they still love the job you're doing there and you as a person, it's just something that they don't understand. Just give it some time.

Uh...Love...each and every one of you...sorry typing problems!

Red Lightning,

I'm new here and I just started the fibromyalgia forum, but I also am bipolar 1. I was treated terribly at work and I know how crushing it is. People are vicious sometimes. They also can be very selfish. The only people i had who understood was my Mother and my Husband. The rest of my family treated me like I was going to a bad doctor or making it up. You really have to find the right combo of meds that work. I went through meds like a Ginny pig, for now they are working, not perfect, but without meds I really am crazy.

I'm thankful for the meds that are out there. Keep your chin up and let your co-workers

bad behavior run off you, like water on a ducks back. As long as your performing your job well, you should be ok, but most states have fire at will policy, so if they want to fire you, it could be for whatever they say. Your boss is unprofessional and ignorant to open her big,fat mouth. I would tell her about it nicely. and if your company has a employee handbook, read it. You have a right to privacy. Boss violated your rights. If possible, get another job and tell big mouth your leaving because of what she did. next time you have to disclose your illness, make sure it will be kept confidential! GOOD LUCK LIGHTNING!!  

I am so sorry that this happened to you. Medical informatin is confidential. Even under the Americans with Disibility Act (which my employer told me covers my bi-polar) it is up you if you want to say anything at the interview if there is a eason you can not perform the job duties. After being hired it is also up to you to tell them if you want any acomidations.

Your boss should not have been able to say anything to co-workers. Health information and certain conversations are confidential unless you say it is ok to have others know. Even though I am nt happy how my employer has treated me since I told them I am bipolar, they assured me I had to give permission for them to discuss it with anyone else.

It took me a year to tell my supervisor. It was because of all the absenbces. At the time I had some severe side effects to meds that sometimes made it hard to see/feel well enoug to drive. Anyways she wanted me to tel HR so he'd understand the absences and missed time for Dr apts. He was understanding said his brother in-law is bipolar. It was shortly after them both knowing that I go my first bad review and they made the decision to reduce my hours. Being a single mom that doesnt help with anxiety/depression.

I now document everything and even made my last review not so bad by being able to prove that their prodoctivity report doesn't figure in other vairables and them seeing I had documented everything was probably the reason they didn't include their report. I still feel the stigma from them and feel like they are trying to find ways to get rid of me for reasons other than me being bi-polar.

Hang in there :)

Red, You did what you thought was right.  I came very close to discussing my mental health issues with our HR person, but did decide against it.  Not meaning to sound judgemental about this person, but she certainly would have passed judgement on me and she is the kind that if she does not like you she will do whatever it takes to get you fired.  I have seen it happen over and over.

All things happen for a reason and you felt inclined to tell her.  Just keep a positive attitude that it will all work out for the best.  And remember, you did not do anything wrong Red.

Gem