I need input from those of you who've lived with bipolar for a while. I met the woman who'd become my wife July 2001 (right before Sep 11). I was in the military & had plans of becoming a professional musician, being in a famous band, and earning a living at it. I was 28 yrs old. I had bought 2 guitars only weeks before & was learning some chords. I told my future wife my famous musician plans, somehow it didn't bother her. We were engaged by Thanksgiving 2001.
I finished my military tour (honorable discharge) & moved home to look for a job while my fiance finished her school year teaching kindergarten. By Christmas I slid into a deep depression full of anxiety. I almost called my fiance & broke up with her! I got as close as sitting next to the phone to break up with her (thank God I didn't).
I had no reason to want to break our engagement. She was an extremely beautiful blond, slender, thoughtful, intelligent and loving young woman. I was out of my mind to almost end it.
I soon spent almost $1,000 on a full sized 88-key electric keyboard (afterall, I was becoming a famous rock star)! about 2 weeks later, I realized how foolish that purchase was & somehow the store refunded my money.
A few months later, I finally got a job working for a tow boat company on the Mississippi river. By this time, we were making wedding plans. my career aspirations now fluctuated b/w musician or television network newscaster. Everyday I was filled with inner turmoil & anxiety. Our wedding date grew closer.
By July 2002 when we married, I had decided to become a famous TV newscaster. I applied to a broadcaster school that fall & was about to plunge our new marriage into debt (my wife nervously watched & gave me gentle warnings against it). Before my courses began, I dropped out & the school refunded my deposit (miracle).
I ended up working on a golf course the next several months while my new wife struggled as a teacher in a tough school. By December 2002, I finally landed a job as a night manager of a gas station.
By spring 2003, somehow the Lord slapped me in the face and woke me up. I realized I needed to go back to school for a stable career. I finally made a wise choice & applied to nursing school, was accepted. Today, 8 yrs later, I'm a Critical Care ICU RN in a major teaching hospital. Only God Himself brought me to this place today.
My wife & I have 3 small healthy beautiful children. She's a stay at home mom. I earn a good income.
I was finally diagnosed with bipolar II last year after verbally & emotionally abusing my wife for about 3 years. We are now going through a prolonged separation. We are NOT getting divorced & are working things out. We both know I'll move back home again. This separation is going to save our marriage.
My question is this: were those early years in my relationship with my wife bipolar phases (hypomania & depression)? Is it possible I was bipolar back then & we didn't know? I've read a high percentage of marriages with a bipolar spouse end in divorce. We are not going to contribute to that statistic by God's strength. I'm on meds & my moods and behavior have improved.
Please give me your insight--thanks!