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Posted 6/12/2011 8:40 PM (GMT 0)
cry   first i want to say that i havent been on in months because i dont have internet access.I really lost it last nite.  I broke me fiances radio and cut my arm up bad. I was really suicidal and alone. rite now i feel scared. I dont want to go to work tommorow with my arm all cut up. I work at a hospital too wich prolly makes it worse. My fiances goddaughters father really hates me. Idk what to do? I'm afraid im gonna get crazy upset and hurt myself again because i dont know how to cope. I dont know how to feel. I have no one to talk to. It really hurts cry
Posted 6/12/2011 11:32 PM (GMT 0)
I'm sorry that you're going through all this; I understand the "crazy upset," and the hurt. Are you in treatment? On medication? Have you spoken to your doctor about these outbursts?

Coping mechanisms don't come naturally to some people. Clearly, you have none. But this doesn't mean that your life should be a free-for-all. You can learn to cope and you can learn how to act in society. This doesn't include destroying people's property. But it's like patience. You learn patience by waiting. You learn coping skills by coping.

For example, if a situation is upsetting, you have a number of ways of dealing with it. You should stop to think for a moment and determine what is the best way to handle it for everyone. I am almost certain that the best way to handle yesterday's problem was not to break a radio. If you feel your anger raging out of control, it's okay to excuse yourself and take a little time-out. You don't have to act on every single emotion that you have. This is called maturity.

I know it sounds like I'm being hard on you, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. If you honestly feel suicidal, you pick up the phone and call 911 or you call your doctor. But you don't destroy people's stuff.

I understand feeling alone, lonely, and having no one to talk to. It does make the depression worse. But you have friends here who are always willing to talk to you. You'll be in my prayers.
Posted 6/12/2011 11:47 PM (GMT 0)
i am in counseling and im about to go back on medication. i usually dont break stuff but i thought maybe if i let out my anger on it i wouldnt be upset with my fiance when i came to pick him up.
Posted 6/13/2011 7:59 AM (GMT 0)
that's good wolflover. maybe some journalling might help. you can pass it on to your counsellor. i do with my shrink and therapist. gets them understanding me better. yes we are here for you. sending much healing compassion your way. jamie
Posted 6/13/2011 3:59 PM (GMT 0)
Jamie has a good idea, journaling is a great way to let out some of those angry feelings. Also, exercise is a great stress reliever, and will help you reduce some of that steam you get worked up. I'm really glad you're getting help.
Posted 6/16/2011 10:05 AM (GMT 0)
what is journaling?? wolflover i can understand what u are going through, u really need to talk and say whatever is on your mind be it your councelor and if not then a good reliable friend who has seen u thru this before and understands and wont judge you. go running in the morning. you will eventually get out of this state and feel better u and i both know that u just can see it right now...it will get better, dont lose hope
Posted 6/17/2011 6:01 AM (GMT 0)
well thank you all for your replies. i have tried journaling before and it doesnt help. i am writing a book rite now though.
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