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Posted 8/3/2011 4:48 AM (GMT 0)
Hi, my name is Pam and my husband was just hospitilized today at the VA for bipolar and he is in the manic phase with phychosis. I have never experienced this before and i know no one with this disorder. I am at a loss as to how i should handle his problems without making them worse, when he is talking about things not true or way out there how should i respond? should i tell him that what he believes is wrong or go along with him or just say nothing? i want to help him so i can have him back home.
Posted 8/3/2011 7:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Pam! You NEED the book "Loving Someone with Bipolar Disorder" I can't think of a better resource to point you towards. It is excellent and inexpensive.
Posted 8/3/2011 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, I ordered it today.
Posted 8/4/2011 8:52 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Pam, nice to meet you & welcome here at the Healingwell Site. You have come to the right place. I am sorry for your husband & for you as well. It is difficult, however, he is in the right place to get help instead of just staying at home.

My husband was wounded in Iraq & he came back a very different person, as well as difficult to deal with his problems as well as my own.

Did your husband realize something was going on & did he go to the VA willingly? Sorry for all the questions. You & your husband will be in my thoughts & prayers. Pleez keep us posted.

Your Healingwell Friend,
Serenitee

Bipolar 2, Borderline, Anxiety/Panic Disorder, Ptsd
Loop ileostomy, pelvic/bladder trauma & dysfunction
Posted 8/4/2011 2:44 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Serenitee, no, he has no idea that anything is wrong, he believes that he is in a secret government facilitie set up to protect him. He thinks he has been chosen to run the world. this game on within about a two week time so I am alittle shell shocked still and feel like i am groping around in the dark. its a long story but about a year ago we had a nice time watching tv, went to bed and when i woke alittle early the next morning i found in outside and he had took every pill in the house, he was never the same personality wise, he slowly over the next year started coming up with wilder and wilder ideas.[aliens are god and talking to him] mind reading,very hyper and not sleeping, things like that, the last 3 weeks ago he stopped taking his clonazapam and cymbalta without telling me. it went down hill from there. i tricked him into going to the ER because he had a sore tounge from an absessed tooth. Once the er doc started asking him questions it knew the problem. its nice to talk to people that understaand and dont just pat me on the shoulder and shake thier heads:)
Posted 8/5/2011 3:11 AM (GMT 0)
sheesh, one more day of crazyiness, i am doing my best to hold it together but im not seeing the meds doing anything yet, i [know], its only been 3 days:) but i had hoped he would have shown some sign of improvment by now, he is very phychotic at the moemnt. thinks he is the 2nd jesus and also god? not sure, him and his group are going to fight suddam hussain tuesday, please. can anybody give me some ideas here on when this might change alittle?
Posted 8/5/2011 3:31 AM (GMT 0)
Is he a danger to himself?
Posted 8/5/2011 3:56 AM (GMT 0)
no, he is locked in the va mental facility so he cant do that but he doesnt act like he wants to, he is in "soldier mode" even though he never seen combat and he left the army in 1983. I just feel so darned hopeless and helpless, i pray there will be even a slight change tomorrow. the manic i can deal with but the psychosis is quite a bit harder to handle. I just feel so bad for him, we are very close and have been together for 34 years and suddenly i feel like im losing him.
Posted 8/5/2011 4:15 AM (GMT 0)
he is on Zyprexa and a different med thats for seizures.
Posted 8/9/2011 10:42 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Pam, I, too am wife to a bipolar husband. I have been married to my hubby for 24 years. He was diagnosed appx. 5 years ago. He is better in some ways but still battles depression pretty much on a daily basis. Coming off his meds could have thrown him into a tailspin. I know from experience how hard this is. You feel like you have lost the man you married. Me,too. Try and be patient with him and let him know you are there for him. The first thing I think would be to hopefully get him counseling and talk to someone who can explain to you both (when he is able) the reality of his diagnosis and how you both can deal with it. It is not a easy road and sometimes you will won't to give up, because sometime the bipolar person can only see and feel their pain. I truly and sincerely wish you both the best. Please keep us updated. You will find a lots of support on here and it is from people who really care and know what you are going through.

Blessings to you both,
Bama wife
Posted 8/9/2011 11:44 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks so much bama wife, it helps to know that there are people/couples living kinda normal lives with this. he is at the stage now where he is asking to come home but he is not ready yet, not as long as he is showing phychotic thinking. but it is alot better than it was 8 days ago. we have been together 32 years and im not going anywhere.for better or worse, and im sticking to it. lol.i tried to explain to him today why he cant come home yet, he still does not see that there is a problem with his thinking but im slowly approaching it without shocking him. he thinks that bipolar means he is crazy and i told him no, it is a disease just like my ms is a disease. they both have to be treated and then your better as long as you take your meds.
Posted 8/10/2011 2:29 AM (GMT 0)
I talked to him tonight and he sounded pretty good except he wont admit anything is wrong with him, he does not believe he is bipolar. any ideas on how to fix this?
Posted 8/10/2011 3:05 AM (GMT 0)
Pam,

I just wanted to "Thank-You" so much for sharing your personal story & your journey with us. Your a very strong woman & Congrats on how many years you have been married. I have personally appreciated everything that you have shared with us, it certainly has helped me w/understanding what my husband & 7-kids have gone thru by dealing w/me. The love & support you are giving your husband is truly so wonderful. Hang in there...Prayers & Blessings sent your way. Thank you for keeping us posted.

I was the one diagnosed in my family w/Mental Illness this year. I've been married for 23-years & never received any help till last September. Having an extremely supportive husband is truly a blessing (+ 7-kids).

Your Healingwell Friend,
Serenitee...I would love to chat with you in emails if you get anytime. You sound like an amazing person :)

Bipolar 2, Borderline, Anxiety-Panic Disorder, Ptsd
Posted 8/10/2011 4:32 AM (GMT 0)
thank you, it has also helped me get through this time also to have this group, it helps when you have friends who have been there. if any of you have a facebook you are more than welcome to add me. connecting with people on there gives me my "down time" my facebook link is...http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/pamswearengin. just add a personal note that you are from my healingwell site:)
Posted 8/10/2011 7:35 AM (GMT 0)
When someone is delusional and psychotic, and saying stuff you know2 is not true and a bit crazy, you can try to convince them that what they are saying is nuts, and eventually you will go nuts arguing with them. Better to just go along with it...no way will you convince him otherwise. I am not saying to encourage the thinking by joining in on the conversation, just don't argue the point. Meds will help this thinking a lot and it may take awhile to get him on the right antipsychotic. Having a bi=polar spouse and parent is rough...just ask my family!! But for me, the pyschotic thinking did eventually end and now my kids will tease me about the crazy thinkgs I used to believe and say. Don't be afraid to ask for support from family, friends, whoever will be a sounding board, to include this forum.
Posted 8/10/2011 10:26 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, Pam,

Glad to hear your hubby is doing somewhat better. As I tell my hubby, You are not crazy and it is a iilness just like diabetes or any other illness, (even tho it is mental). It is up to a person to accept and own their diagnosis Until a person can accept the diagnosis they can't began to learn out to cope with it. I almost got into a fight with a co-worker because he said bipolar people were just crazy and wanted a check. Until a person or a spouse has been through what we all have been through then they have no right to judge others. I applaud the people who seek help and try their best to learn how to deal and cope with their illness. I am with you. When I took my vows for better or worse and so on, I meant them. There have been times I feel like giving up and getting out of it but I loved my hubby when I married him and I still love him dearly. I truly believe you will find the strength to get through this. There will always be ups and downs but when your hubby gets to the place he can accept what his problem is I believe You both will be able to learn how to cope with it. Stay strong. I know it seems like I am the one who has to always be strong, but that's what we do for the ones we love. I am so glad we connected on here.

Hugs and prayers

Bama wife

Posted 8/10/2011 11:50 PM (GMT 0)
he is doing much better, no manic symptoms or psychosis. Yay! hopefully he will be able to come home soon. we talked for a log time and I seen no sign of the major symptoms. He realized he is ill but i told him that many people in todays world have this and it is treatable as long as we work on it together. I received my book "loving someone with bipolar disorder" today and I have started reading it.
Posted 8/11/2011 5:09 AM (GMT 0)
I talked to my husband on the phone later tonite and he says they may release him which is good but he still wont admit that he is bipolar, just manic depressive [same thing right?] and that worries me plus he dont know his meds are for bipolar im thinking, should i tell him???
Posted 8/14/2011 12:19 AM (GMT 0)
Pam,
Yes, your right...Manic-Depressive is Bipolar. But being on the Depressive side more is Bipolar 2...That is my problem. I do have to admit that I'm finally just starting to except the Bipolar diagnosis. I know that I am Borderline, Panic Disorder, & Ptsd...But the Bipolar has been harder for me.

I wish you and your husband only the best. Going online and reading the different types of medicine your husband is on will help you as well as him. He needs to try and stick to a routine schedule, which also helps along with medications and seeing Pdoc regularly.
Let us know how he does when he gets home.
Your Healingwell Friend,
Serenitee
Posted 8/14/2011 12:31 AM (GMT 0)
he came home yesterday and seems to be doing great. meds knock him out at night and if he wakes in the middle of the night he acts drunk. but i have my fingers crosses:)
Posted 8/14/2011 12:33 AM (GMT 0)
Pam,
I'm so glad he is home with you now...You both will be in my thoughts and blessing sent your way.

Serenitee
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