HELP- NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO DEAL WITH EX GIRLFRIEND BP IN DENIAL
Hi everybody,
It is now 10 months that my ex girl friend and I have broken up. We were together for two years and in spite of her mood swings we were happy. She wanted a child and I was worried because she was obsessed with having a child. I knew she has tried before with other men. I learned that she had 4 voluntary abortions that she has concealed from me.
We would have arguments and fights that had no reason to be. I felt guilty at times but I did not know that she was bipolar. I saw that she was taking zyprexa twice a day everybody would tell that she always looks tensed.
She asked me to take her every week to psychiatrist and I did. When they changed her medication she asked if I could get the prescript
ion for her. I used to buy the medications for months. She still denied that she was bipolar when I asked her. She would not only say that she was a bit depressed and that was the reason why she had to take her medications.
I knew nothing about
this illness or any other mental health condition since I have never been exposed. She got pregnant (that was an accident) and even if that was very unlikely at the age of 44. She had miscarriage and was it devastating to her. She wanted to get pregnant again but I have
openly refused in a written letter to her. Very often she would pick fights or have some aggressive behavior including some physical rage such scratching my arm or biting me. It was never very dramatic. When she calmed down (relatively) she was lovely and fun to be with. I met her family in Europe where they live and her sister asked me if I knew that my girlfriend was bipolar. Unanswered that no, I wasn't sure. My gf overhead and denied she was bipolar . Then I met her father and I sensed he had dementia as he did nit speak at all for days . I met her.brother who is schizophrenic . I saw that yes there might have been a genetic link in the family . Still, against all odds, I fought to keep the relationship alive. I loved her and did all I could to make her happy. She loved me and always expressed admiration for me and always said that she trusted me. One day, she woke up very agitated and she was violent with me, it happened in my appartment . She bites my arm and hit me in a rage and even threatened to call the police for non-reason. She left and never returned a call or message. Since then, I started sending her letters of comfort and urging her to take care of her bp condition and see if the medication and dosage were appropriate. After 3 months she answered that she was not bipolar and that I was obsessed with the accusations . She was in denial . I was so concerned and had no one to turn to. I spoke to one of her best friends and expressed my love and concern for her. It was a bad move since that so called girlfriend wanted to date me and spread the rumor about
my gf being bipolar. My gf would send me her regards through friends of mine. She did it a few times. She also expresses gratitude when send her words of support, flowers every six weeks to brighten her day. She called me once and it was for my birthday. I never receive a reply to my many emails. I keep sending her letters of support and love. I asked to inform me if she wanted me to stop. No, she would not tell me to stop my contacting her by emails. I met her accidentally in restaurants and she was warm but still tensed and distant at times. She had like panic attacks by wanting to leave right away and telling me that she was in a hurry and had to go. I told her that she left during an episode months ago and that I missed her and would do anything to help her. She said that she would never "live" with me! I did not even ask her to do that. She repeated again that she was not bipolar and that I was wrong and she planned the breakup. Then, panicking she started to run like flee the area . Another time, she met me when I was with a friend and gave me a kiss to say hello. Once she was seated with a friend of hers who obviously knew about
me while my gf told her that I had a daughter. They both wanted to see pictures.
I wrote her and asked to have coffee. She would not answer. I never called by phone since I knew she would not pick up the phone. I know her condition and what this implies. How can I make her understand that I am ready to go on with her condition and be there for her? She had two failed relationships since we broke up. I know that she loves me . She sent me a nice note about
the flowers I sent her. She loves receiving the flowers and my messages of love and support. Can anyone give me some advice on how to proceed or should I just let go? She lost weight and I saw that it was a bit too much. Denial, panic, weight loss. In spite of all that, she looks great and is well groomed. Please help. Thank you .
Post Edited (jason48) : 10/16/2011 10:43:36 AM (GMT-6)