(No Subject)

My momma died 2 weeks ago. I would still call myself stable, but having a hard time keeping track of my feelings. I am snippy with my children, crying at the drop of a hat, unsure of myself, living in a world with out my momma. I wake up at 5 am and want to call my momma, there is no one like mom. I haven't cut in 3 weeks, but I certainly feel the urge again. I am just white knuckling through the urges. I might have posted this here before, but the thing that is getting me the most is I told Mom that I would not commit suicide before she died. It is as if that covering of protection is gone, and I don't know what to replace it with. Tears.........

Hi Camano

I lost my Dad when I was 12. He was a dream dad. Taught me how to ride, rope, shoot, play football, throw a fastball and a change up. Built a baseball field with a few other dads.

A neighbor shot him in our front yard over a fence dispute. That left me with a psycho mom.

Although that was a long time ago I still miss him everyday. But I remain strong for myself, my wife, and some very close friends. And I don't think dad would be very proud of a son who killed himself.

That's what gets me through.

my heartfelt condolonces to you all. jamie.