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I woke up in my right mind this morning! (or not, update)

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Posted 11/6/2011 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
I feel relieved, good.  I'm doing normal morning things - starting coffee for my fiance, breakfast with my son, getting him started on chores, starting me on cleaning the kitchen.  My fiance took a turn at it last night, so it's not overwhelming.

I took 0.5 mg klonopin in hopes of weathering daily stress without affecting my state of mind.

Thank you for the support the last few days.  I hope I am back to normal for more than a few hours or days.

Post Edited (tortoise11) : 11/7/2011 6:39:35 AM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/6/2011 10:03 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you are having a good day :)
Posted 11/6/2011 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
me glad as well 4 you. jamie :-)
Posted 11/7/2011 12:21 AM (GMT 0)
Normal morning things.....sounds like the start of a good day. Hope the rest went as well.
Posted 11/7/2011 1:42 AM (GMT 0)
nevermind. flipped again. Thinking self-harm so calling Dr. in the a.m.
Posted 11/7/2011 3:39 AM (GMT 0)
I am still learning.......so, what will the Dr do for the self-harm thoughts?
Sorry you flipped, good idea to call Dr. I usually call a help line for si thoughts.
Posted 11/7/2011 1:08 PM (GMT 0)
 

  Sorry tortoise, that sucks.  Self harm thoughts flirt thru my mind, they pop in and out. But nothing like a strong compultion. Most often when i am tired, actually very tired. My mania energy seems to do a good job of keeping the blues away.

  I hope you feel better soon lady.

  Bill 

Posted 11/7/2011 1:39 PM (GMT 0)
I failed in keeping those off last night. I've never been one to endanger myself with that, but I am sore today. I called my Dr. already, waiting for a call back after 8.

I've got ultratadian cycling. My Dr. will raise my lithium dose - probably by 300mg. Baby shopping sprees, cycling, self-harm, periods of depression, definitely time to get my meds changed.

Makes me angry that this has all been brought on by stress at work! I'm still cutting back work hours. It's the slow season, thankfully!
Posted 11/7/2011 1:40 PM (GMT 0)
My mood this morning is normal, but serious and concerned. I am thankful that most days I wake up in a normal mood. I have to take klonopin and go to work - wish me luck
Posted 11/7/2011 3:34 PM (GMT 0)
I was grooming an old dog this morning and now it is hurt - probably from me having him stand up with a hip restraint.  I feel like crap.  I hope he is just sore and recovers with a little rest.  Stressed out about it.

I have a Dr. appt tommorrow a.m.

Guess what I want to do right now?  skull

Posted 11/7/2011 5:25 PM (GMT 0)
OK, no Dr. appt., nurse called to increase Seroquel XR to 300 mg. Waiting for the pharmacy. I'm at home on a break from work for a couple hours.

Hanging in there sorta.
Posted 11/7/2011 11:10 PM (GMT 0)
Hang in there, we are all there for you
Posted 11/8/2011 3:18 AM (GMT 0)
yes all of us. jamie.
Posted 11/8/2011 4:25 PM (GMT 0)
Better today. I didn't work this morning and my fiance got my son on the school bus - I got an extra hour of sleep and low-stress morning. Putting my son's "new" bedframe together. We got it at a thrift store and I painted it. I washed some dishes. Putzing around. I have one appointment this afternoon.

Trying to stay with good habits - using proactiv for some me-time in the bathroom. A couple minutes of dance practice - at least the moving meditation and stretches. Washing dishes a little at a time.

I'm not 100%, but definitely better. Maybe up to 70%.
Posted 11/9/2011 12:28 AM (GMT 0)
Glad you were able to have a low-stress am and are feeling better. Here's to a normal morning tomorrow.
Posted 11/9/2011 12:32 AM (GMT 0)
My appointment was a stubborn dog that was hard to work with. Messed up a bunch of my equipment, thank god the clinic pays for sharpening of tools! 2 hours at work and I was so drained. Slept 3-1/2 hours. Still feel awful. Looks like I'll eat supper and go back to bed.

Getting really sick of this.  I groom 2 dogs in the morning.  1 is small and easy.  I hope the other is easy too!  I will get my hair cut tomorrow and I have bellydance class in the evening.  I am hoping for a better day tomorrow.

Thinking about taking a hot bath.  Which would reinforce my fiance's concept of me being irrational, lol.

Post Edited (tortoise11) : 11/8/2011 5:37:26 PM (GMT-7)

Posted 11/9/2011 1:01 AM (GMT 0)
keep strong. jamie
Posted 11/9/2011 2:56 AM (GMT 0)
I spent almost an hour in the bathroom. Feel much better. Except... ... ... I was putting lotion on my legs when my fiance popped his head in an he saw where I had hurt myself 2 days ago. He was like, "What's that?" I said, "I had a bad day." He's like "but what is it?" and looked more closely. oops. He hasn't said anything and probably won't. Curious if it comes up in couples therapy whenever then next one will be. Oddly, I don't feel remorse or shame like I used to. I feel like "I did what I had to do and it worked". A whole new level of unhealthy thinking?
Posted 11/10/2011 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
I'm OK so far today. I had a bellydance class last night. Fun and sweaty! lol I am trying to use all the positive things, habits I'm trying to form. That I've started in the last few weeks.

Skin care regieme (started Proactiv)
Using makeup, wearing contacts and styling hair in the morning
Stretch
Meditate
Exercise (dance)
Read
Practice piano
Cleaning - putzing and cleaning a little at a time so it's not overwhelming

I have not done emotional eating for a couple of days. I would have today, but thankfully my son and fiance ate the last of the ice cream last night. ;)

I have Thursday - Sunday off of work. I'm doing much better but cautious to see how I will do starting working again on Monday. Still limited appointments, of course.

If I don't get bored or cold today, I will be fine. My son has his piano lesson. (I quit my lessons indefinitely because of stress, hope to start back soon). My mom is coming over sometime today to visit.
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