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have crashed badly

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Posted 11/11/2011 6:13 AM (GMT 0)
i have crashed badly over the last week. i can't even speak. luv 2 all jamie
Posted 11/11/2011 10:07 AM (GMT 0)
it is debilitating, tiring, something has a tight grip on me. the more i shake it off the tighter it becomes. i feel lost and numb, even isolated. i have used up my proactive techniques, on mon i will see if i can see my therapist sooner, he is not till the 21st. so tired, soo many, too many racing thoughts. mainly destructive thoughts. thx for letting me speak. luv 2 you all, jamie
Posted 11/11/2011 2:38 PM (GMT 0)
Keep talking, keep writing, get the racing, repetitive, destructive thoughts out of your head.

Our coping skills are a little bit like trying to calm a crying baby. When you've tried everything you can, try again. Sometimes it takes more than once.

You are not isolated. We've been there. We understand. We are here for you.
Posted 11/11/2011 5:40 PM (GMT 0)
thank you. it means everything. ~jamie
Posted 11/11/2011 7:13 PM (GMT 0)
awww Jamiee, so sorry this is happening. I understand that you feel isolated, but try to remember that there are many of us out here who understand, have been there and back from these horrible feelings. We are here for you.
Posted 11/11/2011 8:58 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Jamie

Hope you are feeling better today.

Take it easy you need to give your body time to recover. Keep trying to relax, put your favourite music on or go for a walk. I know even these simple things some days you really don't want to do, but sometimes we just need to force ourselves to do them.

You have had a big week, both shrink and sleep doctor. A lot to take in all at once.

We are all here for you.
Posted 11/12/2011 12:20 AM (GMT 0)
thank you all. jamie
Posted 11/12/2011 12:24 AM (GMT 0)
 

  I hope you are feeling better. Sometimes we just have to accept that this disorder has teeth, and can and will kick our butts from time to time. But get thru it and hopefully tommrrow will be a better day.

  Good luck friend

 Bill

Posted 11/12/2011 12:46 AM (GMT 0)
very sharp teeth bill at the moment. very sharp. i am still functioning, just. thx 4 your care and support. jamie
Posted 11/13/2011 10:07 AM (GMT 0)
have done my dishes and put out the rubbish. have walked the dog as well. other than this i am in hell. have played music and some games on my computer. responded to e-mails, only very short though. said hello to my mate and neighbour to let her know that i am still here-so to speak. this is the lowest of lows. this really sux. thx for caring, jamie ;-(
Posted 11/14/2011 8:50 AM (GMT 0)
How are you feeling another day later?

Did you manage to take the dog out today? What type of dog do you have?

Just take it one day at a time.

I like to think of BP as a roller coaster. There might be times when you feel like you are falling straight down at great speed but it won't be long before you will be doing the climb back up again. As long as you say on the track and hold on for the ride you will be ok. You might even be lucky and get to sit at the station for a while to catch your breath.
Posted 11/14/2011 8:58 AM (GMT 0)
yeah that would be nice. another day later ****. i have a very cute pure bred pomeranian. yeah i will be alright only-me. thx 4 checking in on me, and everyone else too!!! THANK-YOU. yep one day at a time is what i am doing. playing some y. malmsteen at the moment, early stuff. cool!!
hey, how are you doin'? know that i am here for you and you all too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

luv 2 ya's jamie :-)
Posted 11/14/2011 11:06 AM (GMT 0)
I'm sure your pom is cute, I like Poms but not sure if I could handle all the hair.  Mind you my little fella can still loose his coat when he wants to. 

I must be so musically not with it. Never heard of y. malmsteen before.  Had to google it :-)

Another hot nigt, hears hoping that I can sleep.  Realised last night that had the fan set for winter not summer no wonder I wasn't getting any cooler. 

Hope you get a good nights sleep.

Posted 11/14/2011 11:30 AM (GMT 0)
yep she sheds all over the place when it is time. bloody fur ball!!! but i love her. are you listening to malmsteen now??!!!! ha ha. yeah sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep getting ready for it. have a good day wherever you are. sleeeeep well. cheers, jamie.

ps, what do you have. (animal)
Posted 11/14/2011 1:12 PM (GMT 0)
Night jamie, I'm off to google malmsteen too-lol-vaguely familiar.

Luv ya
Maggie
Posted 11/14/2011 10:35 PM (GMT 0)
I have a chihuahua X.  Long hair but not as thick a coat as a Pom, but still thicker than a pure Chi coat. Think he might have a little bit of terrier or papillion in him.  Not a pure breed, got him from the pound after he had been roaming the streets, but I wouldn't give him up. 

Slept well, now I have the fan on the right setting.

Looks like its going to be another hot one, so I should try to get some stuff done before it gets too hot (but that requires motivation) :-)

Might even think about doing a bit more painting - two walls to go.  It's a bit of a double edged sword.   Worried that the paint might give me a headache, but I find the painting quite relaxing, turn the music on and tune out. 

Posted 11/17/2011 5:42 AM (GMT 0)
painting is relaxing, the warmer weather is here, thus i will need to get motivated and finish more. i have more than half a house to finish. but i need help, not the best of painter, but not too bad. yeah music is the best of healers for me. cool, your little mate sounds interesting, yeah wouldn't give up buttons either, a lady i knew surrended buttons over to me.......otherwise it was the pound. she was a fed up show dog!!!!!!!!!!!!! glad you slept well, i sadly did not. had a major panic attack during the night, so i have been up since. yesterday was a big day, did all my cleaning and stuff. am sooo tired now. just waiting for the clothes to dry on the line, walk buttons then lye down for a bit. still not the best my friend, but i am trying real hard. know that i am always here.

take care of you only-me.

~jamie
Posted 11/17/2011 10:19 AM (GMT 0)
I have more than 3/4 of a house to finish :) This is my first time at painting so well and truely a learning curve.

My little dog wouldn't pass as a show dog, but his little heart is bigger than any dog I know.

I don't know much about panic attacks. Do you know what set it off?

Hope you have a better night sleep tonight.

I have had a good day - maybe a little too good. Not sure if it was a really good day or maybe I am just thinking that way. Couple of other little signs floating around that maybe I am on the way up.

Have a great night. Chin up - one day at a time.
Posted 11/17/2011 12:35 PM (GMT 0)
yeah learning curve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! good on your liitle BIG dog!!!!!!!

no this time.stopped breathing and went into panic. yeah i am hoping for a better sleep, thx.

that is fantastic news, go with it yeah. thank you my friend. will do, jamie :-)
Posted 11/17/2011 11:16 PM (GMT 0)
manic phase has begun. jamie. well it was creeping up a couple of days ago. was up until 2am this morning. am ok. at the moment!!! lol. jamie.
Posted 11/18/2011 1:03 AM (GMT 0)
My manic stages I have learnt to make the most of. I use the time to prep myself for when I fall back down.

I spend the time cooking meals and cleaning (where possible) so when I feel like curling up in a ball, when the dark side starts creaping in, I know that I have can take time out from the world around me and it ok to do nothing.

Not that this always works but it seems to help.

Take care.
Posted 11/18/2011 1:17 AM (GMT 0)
yep, i do the same. thx 4 checking in and saying hi. take care of you too. with healing compassion, jamie
Posted 11/18/2011 4:04 AM (GMT 0)
ya'll are so helpful. I learn something new here every day.
Posted 11/18/2011 7:21 AM (GMT 0)
smilewinkgrin   smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin smilewinkgrin i am forever learning. you are wonderful and caring yourself!!!!

with healing compassion. jamie turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn turn

Posted 11/21/2011 8:29 AM (GMT 0)
Hi jamie

Just checking to see how you are feeling today :)

Hope all is well
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