Starting it All Over Again - Not Doing Well

I went to the hospital yesterday. They brought in mobile crisis. I saw my tp today. I was doing good and then I got stressed out over some little pieces of the kitchen project that didn' work out right. I have been depressed, crying, in a foul mood since. I'm stressed out about my weight - all time high. I skipped supper and have no intention of eating anytime soon. I slept most of the day. My son sent my dog into the bedroom and after about 1/2 hour was good enough to get up. I'll try to stay up for an hour but I cannot wait to go back to bed and escape into sleep.

Tried to contact you at the old e-mail address; nothing goes through.I see you have a new one, and that means you want privacy.

I won't e-mail the new address but just wanted to let you know I hope you're okay now and back to stay. Thanks for asking me to assist for a short while.

I.G.

Just wanted to let you know that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this rough time. This too shall pass.

Doing pretty good today. Doing some work around the house and no meltdowns. A couple frustrating things, a little overwhelmed, but still OK.

Hope to get back to work Tues or Wed. Have to get back to visiting the nursing home, been MIA for 2 weeks!

A geez. Starting it again. Had a couple days off. The highs are higher. Losing even more sleep. I am concerned, considering I'm having oral surgery under general anesthesia on Tuesday. I don't deal with physical pain/discomfort/disease well. Of course I'm nearly high as a kite so I can't be bothered to do anything about it. Like take meds... or sleep. The next week we're flying to Denver for 4 days!

Hi Tortise,

I read all of your posts and I really feel for you. I can say with all honesty that I know what you are going through. I have been there. I would encourage you to take your meds even though you are on a "high" right now. I have learned the hard way that stopping my meds is not a good thing. I also know that when I am on a "high" no one can persuade me to do something I do not want to do. I feel invincible and so right. I would give anything for that "high" right now. I love the "highs" of BP. I have not been deeply depressed for 20 years and am going through it now. I pray that you will take your meds so you do not sink into a low. I am new to this forum and am learning more and more about my BiPolar I all the time. Just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Have a lovely time in Denver!

HC

Hey tortoise, i hope you start feeling better soon. I wonder how much the seasons change might be affecting you?  My BP been a little weird lately also, a bit more active then normal. Ive been wondering if the weather weirdness of late might be affecting me.

  Bill 

Tortoise, in regard to money, "Trust, but verify". It's wise to let your fiance manage your money, but have him put it into something that is in your name and his so that you may verify balances, etc., if the time ever comes that you need to transfer or change the way things are being done with your income.

You are not married yet, and that leaves you vulnerable, regardless of how nice the man is. Letting go of all control except for $150. per month is risky from the standpoint of your having access in case of dire emergency. Maybe even investing it so that BOTH signatures are required to manage it is the best way to go for the present.

Glad you're better.

I was reading something yesterday about the muscle twitching. I think it was on Ruth Whalen's new post on schizophrenia. It's worth your checking into. She blames it somehow on medications. Just thought you'd like to know.

It's Genetic

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 3/4/2012 4:39:34 PM (GMT-7)

Hi Tortoise, I am so happy to hear that you are beginning to feel better. It also sounds as though you are making some really good choices to safeguard yourself financially for when the mania hits. I would, however caution you against putting too much control in your fiance's hands. I know all too well that the person we divorce/break up with is not the person we married/became engaged to. Not that this will happen to you but always best to be safe.

I am sending lots of healing energy your way. And I pray that you have a great time in Denver.

As for me, I am up and down. My depression recedes for a bit and then returns. I am so tempted to go off my Depakote and let the mania come but I know that would be a very bad decision. Too high a price to pay at the end and I cannot put my family through that. Especially my husband.

Lots of love and blessings to you!

MVL

I had my wisdom teeth out this morning. I'm finally starting to gain feeling in my lower lip. I'm on vicodin for pain. I having a hard time etaing anything. Popsicles are too sweet or too cold. Mashed potatoes made me feel sick. Mac'n'cheese worked until one end of a noodle got stuck in a tooth hole. That was the end of that meal! I'm hungry and frustrated. I napped most of the day on the reclining part of the couch. I have to sleep sitting up tonight and that is hard for me too.

My mood is normal now, I don't know how much more I can take before it starts to change. My fiance (who is usually unsympathetic and says "suck it up" a lot) has been super sweet today.

I had a panic attack when the first nurse tried to put the IV in. She eventually left to go find someone else. I was able to catch my breath and tell my fiance how to do deep pressure therapy, and he got my ipod for me. I didn't panic the second time. I like that nurse better too. :) Got into the surgery area - my glasses off which helped. I freak out when I see medical equipment. Someone went to get me a warm blanket and I was out before they got back.

I'm sore, sometimes worse. Not too much bleeding. My fiance is surprisingly good at understanding me when my toongue is numb and my mouth is full of gauze. :) He's been very good to me today.

I expect to start hearing "suck it up" sometime tomorrow. :) I am off work so I will probably be resting/napping all day.

Thanks B. :)

Errmmm... I think I'm good, my bloodowkr is done frequently. I'm in surprisingly good physical health. Ironic, huh. Mr Zippy rarely makes an appearance. I have high testosterone and my fiance's six drive is much lower than mine. Yeah. Awkward. But you are 100% right about the food!!!

We're nearly done with the kitchen and my fiance has backed off about pushing to get it done ASAP. I have one coat a finish on the backside of the cabinet doors. That will have us 90% done or better!

Things sound good, but the pain from my (4) wisdom teeth out this morning is really getting to me. I took vicodin, but it seems to be taking a really long time to work.

Tortoise, you have certainly been through it recently. I hope you're
going to have a good trip when that comes up and will feel well the whole time.

I can tell from your post that you saw a dental specialist for your wisdom teeth removal. Please permit me to add a helpful hint to anyone else who is going to have wisdom teeth extracted:

See a plastic surgeon. They can give a pill that numbs the pain receptors in the brain several days before surgery and then give a
local anesthetic at the time of surgery. There is virtually no swelling after the teeth are extracted, only mild sensitivity in the area where the teeth were removed (so that you're careful about eating anything that could get caught).

It's far, far more comfortable than the old dental routine in my view, but then everyone has to make a choice. I post this information only because not everyone knows that a plastic surgeon is very capable of the job and the end result may even be superior to that of a dental specialist--for wisdom teeth(I don't know about any other teeth).

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 3/6/2012 9:27:32 PM (GMT-7)

Pain meds are working. Still sore and feeling low. But better.