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Bipolar and the holidays

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Posted 11/24/2009 4:36 PM (GMT 0)
Hey everyone:

It's almost turkey-time (or tofurkey, depending on your proclivities. Anyone making turducken?) I thought we might check in and tell each other what we're doing and how we plan to deal with the extra stress generated by holiday madness.

We're going to my in-laws for 5 days. I really enjoy their company and they're very supportive of me. They're nuts about my daughter and everyone pitches in to help, so that's good. But we always go to this big Thanksgiving dinner at friends of the family's. This year it's smaller than usual -- only 18 people. shocked I like everyone there, so that's not the problem. It's just the past couple of years, my social anxiety has really kicked my butt at this party. Instead of mingling and enjoying everyone's company, I want to hide in a corner. Last year I left alone right after dinner because I was practically panicking. I want to do better this year. I'll dose up with Lorazepam before I go, of course. But I need to concentrate on trying to make myself relax and let other people chase my daughter around (SO hard for me to do -- I have a lot of trouble disengaging with her.)

If anyone has any tips, I'll be glad to have them. What are you doing?

serafena
Posted 11/24/2009 7:02 PM (GMT 0)
I'm RELAXING! Yes, I really am! We have dinner with my in-laws (local) on Thursday, and that's it. In fact, my MIL is keeping our kids overnight on Friday so we can have a date night. <3

All I have to make for Thursday is dessert and I already bought a no-bake Reese's pie kit. Instead of dreading the long weekend, I'm actually looking forward to it!

Oh, and our dinner with the in-laws is JUST family...and it's 22 people. But it's 4 generations.
Posted 11/24/2009 7:03 PM (GMT 0)
Turducken-that's hilarious!!! I had never heard of it until my SIL made it last year (we may be having it again). She's a professional chef/caterer with her own business. But I wasn't really impressed with it. Maybe because I don't like turkey. I sure hope there's ham.
Posted 11/24/2009 7:04 PM (GMT 0)
Hi
My only tip is to try and stay in the present moment. It's hard to do but when
I do it, my panic decreases.

My brother and sister in law invited themselves up for Fri.-Sun.
I am going to get through it just fine. But I do worry that they will
bring booze to our house. They are heavy drinkers.
My hubby and I are sober and working the A.A. program for a year now and
being around drunk people is distasteful at this point.

But there again...if I can take my own advice and stay in the present moment I
wouldn't have to worry about the weekend!

For Thanksgiving dinner we are going out to eat...yay!

Good luck with your party, if you're really nervous...bring your own car so you can leave
early!
Posted 11/24/2009 8:12 PM (GMT 0)

Not a clue when it comes to advice.  You are talking to someone that goes to work, maybe Wal-mart when it is not crazy busy and that is about it.  My sisters, who are much older than I, had a bit of a falling out a few years ago after our father passed away.  We are OK now, we love each other from afar, just don't get into each others daily lives which I am thankful for.  But I remember when we all use to get together, before I was diagnosed and the feelings of wanting to leave 10 minutes after I got there.  I do not miss that.  You will be OK, at least your not cooking for 22 people, right?

Happy Thanksgiving

Gem

Posted 11/25/2009 4:06 AM (GMT 0)
I absolutely love Thanksgiving. We used to get together with my huge extended family and it used to be more stressful...just too many people to engage with and the manic side of me made me feel I had to help wash every dish, clean up, etc.

But for the past 6 or so years, we started taking turns between our house and my bro-in-law's house.. Just 12 of us. And so much nicer :)
I just love the comfort food, the company, and the laziness, with the sound of football in the background.
Posted 11/25/2009 5:04 PM (GMT 0)

Gosh Darn it!  I do the same thing every year!!  I stress the heck outta  myself.  This year is worse though since I'm still trying to heal from surgery.  Had my tummy cut opened!

So here is how it usually goes.  The week of Thanksgiving I get all my shopping done.  I have to stop at the Polish Deli for our Potato Dumplings too!  The family soooo looks forward to those babies!!!(Got all of that done).

The day before Thanksgiving, (Today) I cook my whole dinner.  Made my Pumpkin Pie this morning and have my Turkey in the oven right now.  I have an appt. with my surgeon this afternoon and another appt. w/my pdoc after that.

Then tonight I'll make my sweet potatoes and stuffing and put put all my cranberry sauce, olives, veggies, etc. in their serving containers.

Tomorrow we will all go to my sister's house for a 1pm dinner.  I'll see my whole family.  Approx., 30 people.  It will be fun visiting with everyone since we only get together once or twice a year! 

By the time we get home later (6pm ish)...the family will be hungry AGAIN and I'll bring out my turkey dinner for left overs! Ya know...nothing formal with setting the table...just bringing everything out and everyone making there own plates and poppin it in the microwave.  We will then all just chill and hang out together.

The next day...no cooking...Left overs again!

But like I said, I'm still suppose to be healing, but I pushed myself and last night I was very sore!  I'm suppose to take it easy today, (Yeah right) but I won't relax until tonight when everything is finished. 

I will be able to be relaxed though on Thanksgiving Day!!!  Everything will be done!!! My anxiety is better this year so I'll be able to be more social than usual.

My family all looks forward to getting together and my hubby, & kids all look forward to my "leftovers" the best!  Ya know,...nobody makes it better than Mom!  smilewinkgrin

I am just thankful to be surrounded with all of my family and good times!  This year I am thankful for my health and coming through surgery.  I hope this leaves me to a better place physically & emotionally.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!  No matter what you do or how you will be spending it, I hope it is special for you!

~sukay~ blush

Posted 11/25/2009 9:11 PM (GMT 0)
This year we are BROKE (food bank broke) and it has caused a LOT of extra stress, but it has really brought the magic of the season.  My mother brought me out to a nearby store a month ago and had me pick out presents for the family and put them on layaway.  Now every 2 weeks we have gone to make the payments and I pay what I can (about a 1/3 of it) and she covers the rest.  My dad says that he knows how hard it is, and the whole family is in this together.  If he can do it, he will.

We have been able to find a place that will give short term help for military veterans (we both are) and have been able to get last month's rent and utilities paid for.  We might be able to go back next month too.  I have been able to find 3 food banks that don't mind how often we come- and even give out perishables with all the regular food bank stuff.

One of my friends from church called me yesterday and told me that she has signed us up to receive a full turkey dinner on thanksgiving morning (I tear up just writing this) and even though we will go to my parent's house for dinner, the dinner will provide great leftovers for the rest of the week. (I make a great homemade turkey soup- not a thing will go to waste)

I am thankful that we live in a part of the world that when someone is on hard times we all pull together and help provide.  There are places in the world that would have simply let us starve.

I am thankful that I see the end of the hard times.  We will have additional income starting in mid February. We simply have to wait until then.

I am thankful for friends and family that have weathered my conditions with loving kindness.

I am thankful for doctors that aren't satisfied to leave well enough alone and try to find the cause to all of the pain and find the best way to keep treatments from fighting against each other.

I am thankful that I know what is going on in my head and why it is that way.  I am thankful that it isn't "just the way life is" (stop complaining and live with it)  I am thankful that I am learning ways to live with it.

I am thankful that I don't have babies anymore.  I have children that I can spend time with and enjoy without so much work involved.  If I want to hold babies I can go hold one of my friend's- and when I am done I can hand it back.

I am thankful for HW and all that I have learned here.

Posted 11/26/2009 4:55 AM (GMT 0)
_Christina:

I LOVE turkey soup! I'm sure it will be wonderful. Hang in there. I'm so glad to hear of all the ways you're getting help through these hard times and that you are able to let people help you. That's not always easy. Have a wonderful day!

serafena
Posted 11/26/2009 2:10 PM (GMT 0)
blush  Oh my, I forgot which post I was doing....

Anyway, some of the things that I have done is- I chose not to put the blinking/flashing chiristmas lights arround the top of the living room and down the hallway like we have done before.  I feel like that might be too much visual stimulation, and the way that I have been feeling it might just be the last thing that pushes me over.

I have given myself permission to go find a quiet corner in my mother's house to stay when we are not eating. If people want to talk to me they can come and find me.

I have all of the "item" shopping done now.  I still have stocking stuffers to pick up, but because a good deal of it is fruit I can't get most of it till the week of.  I am slowly collecting all the things I will need to put together christmas candies and other sweets that I will box up and give to those who are not my children.  I am more aware that I will have to plan a full day to do it slowly rather than trying to get it all done in a few hours.

I come here every day- sometimes more than once a day- to see what is going on.  It is like a grounding rod for me.  Thanks.

Posted 11/26/2009 2:24 PM (GMT 0)

 

 

Hugs

Thinking of you

blush

Posted 11/27/2009 12:39 AM (GMT 0)
Well, I just got home from dinner #1, which went well, though generated some stress as noted in a separate post.

Hubby is napping (too much turkey) and we're about to cook our second turkey of the day for our annual orphan Thanksgiving feast. Waiting on my roomate to get back here with his girlfriend, and right now relaxing with some video games and looking through the cool stuff Grandma gave me. I think she;s trying to liquidate the entire household!

Tomorrow, will be Thanksgiving take 3 when my father and his wife show up at my house for leftovers and a general visit.

Stress level is ok because I';m manic, so getting stuff done isn;t too biga deal. Keeping busy keeps me from sitting around feeling bad for myself.
Posted 11/27/2009 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
I officially hate big family gatherings. :\
Posted 11/27/2009 1:20 AM (GMT 0)
And I'm glad to be done with them for a month.
Posted 11/28/2009 3:42 AM (GMT 0)

Thanksgiving was fine.  I spent most of it in the kitchen helping my mother cook.  I showed up 5 hours brfore the meal, so I had been there a while before anyone else came in.  When we sat down to eat I picked a corner seat where it would be quieter, and got right back into the kitchen afterward.

But when I ran out to the store to grab sone forgotten items I started to shake and my heart raced and I got so nervous.  It wasn't even my money I was spending and an empty store I was in.  It calmed down right after I got back in the kitchen. 

The same thing happened when I went out to get something tonight.  The store was hopping, and my adrenoline was running, and I felt almost sick to my stomach.  I only needed to get one thing and I was out the door.

I haven't gone out to anything except church and weekday morning grocery shopping for a long time because I have had moods that I could not hide and made me not approprate for public.  I would hate to think that I now have anxiety just running out to go holiday shopping...

Posted Yesterday 4:53 AM (GMT 0)
I need help here. During the summer of 2007 I 'lost it' and wound up in hospital. Very fast talking, did not know what was going on. I got a bipolar diagnoses and major depression. MEDS I believe was the problem as I am asymptomatic now. Ritalin overdose with Cymbalta and Percocet. I was told I had a seratonin syndrome. The doc had me on depakote but I stopped all meds at the end of 2007. I now feel very good and no problems at all. How would I know if bipolar was a correct diagnoses?? Paul
Posted Yesterday 5:26 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Paul,

Welcome to HealingWell and the bipolar board.
If you're feeling good now, Paul, then why are you here? Have you had any lingering symptoms? Have you talked to a psychiatrist or counselor since?

serafena
Posted 3/13/2012 6:42 PM (GMT 0)
Just going over old posts and the now feeling well is positive. Docs do make errors and in 5 years no problems. Calling it correctly can be a slippery slope. Posted as a FYI only.
Posted 3/14/2012 2:36 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks usmc, I am glad you are doing better! Thank you for the update. I'm going to close this old thread. You are welcome to stick around, start a new thread if there's something you want to talk about.
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