HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

Is this not a forum for Bipolar People?

Support Forums
>
Bipolar Disorder
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 5/4/2012 4:06 PM (GMT 0)
I have not been posting here much because it seems as if this forum has turned into a "friends and family" rant/pity party. This is susposed to be a support for people WITH bipolar. It gives friends and family a resource site to go to under the introduction.

I notice many friends and families need support but I think it takes away from the patients who are needing support for their disease. There is a lot of blame and whining and finger pointing at all the awful things we bipolars do in our disease. This could interfere with the healing of those who may need support but are somewhat taken aback by the counter attacks. Shaming and blaming are not helping anyone here.

It is just a suggestion. When I attended DBSA meetings there were two seperate groups. One for the people with the disease of bipolar and one for the friends and families of bipolars. They each have different requirements for support and can best help each other in that way.

I am both afflicted with bipolar and married to a bipolar so I know each side of me needs a different support network. I go here to deal with my bipolar, not trash my husband for his disease.

Compassion, open mindedness, and willingness are needed to learn about the disease. Educate yourself if you are a friend or family member. Find support for yourself with OTHER friends and family members. But stop using this forum as a rant. Some of us are very Ill and depend on this site for healing as best we can and it is off putting to see so much ignorance and blame.
Posted 5/4/2012 6:22 PM (GMT 0)
Today my friends I am coming apart at the seams!  For the last 2 weeks I haVE BEEN NON AN AWESOME HIGH, I don't understaND WHY i CAN'T JUST LIVE THIS WAY?  i FEEL LIKE A race horse waiting for the gate to open, all the hubby wantsa to do is sit AND WATCH BASEBALL.  nOT CONDUCIVE AT ALL.  i TELL HIM AT LUNCH that I want to do something this evening, he ask's me if I want to mow!!  I want to be around people and socialize, can he not understand this.   Helpppppp. yeah
Posted 5/4/2012 10:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Red,

We do have a lot of family/friends-of here and they are welcome if they follow the forum rules and keep it a safe place. Asking for help is OK. Ranting on bipolar symptoms is not. If I miss a post that makes you uncomfortable send me an email, OK?

We really are not the best resource for family/friends-of. A better place is pendulum.org where they have their own family/friends only forum.
Posted 5/5/2012 1:54 PM (GMT 0)
from this post seems selfishness could be part of BP

guess those of us hurt by BP should just keep it all in and let the BP in our live and the BPs in the world control even this forum.

hope this forum is open to all? if not please others just reply and i'll give you your space.

Forgive for my misunderstanding agian.

I will say if I was dealing with you.

I'd be force to move on.

We all need help with BP.

Posted 5/5/2012 2:56 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Red. And it's not with negative intentions or feelings. It's just that this is to be a place for bp sufferers and we can guide family members and loved ones to the resources we have here or to boards that support their needs.

It is very important that this is a focused healing group for us and that we aren't reading things that might upset us. I have been part of this board for many years and recently this is the first time the board has been so full of family posts.

I know in the past our great moderators have stepped in to gently guide the new family members along and explain the purpose of our board. I think that served really well for everyone.

Mogs
Posted 5/5/2012 3:02 PM (GMT 0)
Ronnie, your post is out of line. Most of our (bipolar) members do not post because they feel they have no value to contribute. It's our non-bipolar members that are most active and often unintentionally intimidate our non-posters. Red Lightening has been a valued member of this forum for many years. In contrast - you've joined in the last month and this is your second post. Red is correct to comment on the changing dynamic in the forum when it affects people with bipolar disorder and turns the away!

Selfishness is not a symptom of bipolar disorder. However, it may be perceived that way. For example when in a depressed episode, a person with bipolar disorder lacks the ability to do all but the most basic. It won't be uncommon to read accounts of people who were unable to bathe - or even brush their teeth - for weeks. Of course, during these times the needs of others will be equally as neglected as the needs of the person experiencing bipolar disorder. In addition to mood, bipolar disorder affects concentration, cognition, and memory - it's very easy for selfishness to be perceived.

People that do not have bipolar disorder are welcome here. However, posts coming from an inner place of bitterness or hostility, and posts making FALSE statements about the symptoms of bipolar disorder based on one experience are not permitted.

Bipolar disorder is often complicated by addiction and cormobid mental illness and often these people are unable to untangle these and blame bipolar disorder for the damage caused by multiple problems. Clearly this doesn't sit well with people who do not have comorbid conditions.

Ronnie, I'll repeat my suggestion of visiting pendulum.org where there is a forum only for family/friends of bipolar forum. My brief overview of that forum suggests that venting is accepted there (since people WITH bipolar disorder are not in that forum and are not hurt by it).

You've been warned our boundaries for accepting people without bipolar disorder, and I'll direct you to read the HealingWell forum rules as well. Your first post will remain, but if you continue to post with that attitude your posts will be edited or deleted. I will not tolerate intimidation or harassment of our bipolar members.
Posted 5/5/2012 3:05 PM (GMT 0)
mogli,

I have not been as proactive at guiding family/friend-of away from this forum because I have personally gained much from their perspective. It motivates me to stay in treatment and helps my to understand my fiance's point of view a little bit more.

But you are right that the forum has changed a lot because of non-bipolars. I will talk to the moderators group and admin about the situation.
Posted 5/14/2012 7:27 PM (GMT 0)
I think that anyone who has been hurt by this illness should be welcome to rant here. I mean, we who have this disease or others like it are the best people to advocate for it. So when someone comes and says, "My partner/child/brother is acting like this and it's driving me nuts!" Those of us who are cycling and nutty can just ignore them. Those of us with some measure of reason can say, "Ya know, I understand how you feel. Let me tell you how they might be feeling and we can shine some light on this..." I believe once we start telling people they can't post here because they arn't afflicted 'enough' than there is no sense in having a open forum. Everyone should be welcome to air their grievances and if it triggers you than maybe you should watch what you read. Or maybe their could be a little flag or something for posts with potential triggers or by people seeking advice about a loved one rather than themselves. IDK.
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply