Hi there,
Both of you seeing your psychiatrists is probably a start. More effective treatments - both medication, individual and couples therapy give hope to difficult situations.
I think you are in a hard situation. My bipolar disorder and anxiety have a huge effect on my memory. If both of you are having intermittent impaired memory it can being very hard on your relationship.
There are things you can do. I don't know if this coupld be applied in your lives? I keep a journal or blog as a sort of history and truth reminder when my memory is impaired. I write a lot of notes. Because I my memory issues, sometimes high emotion and my fiance's personal struggle with communication, we discuss heated or difficult topics in email. It calms everything and gives me a chance to say "I'm sorry I thought you said XYZ, but I checked my emails/blog and I didn't remember it right." It helps as a long term way to track my moods. I have rapid cycling, but I've found that I also have an annual cycle - I tend to have the same moods and same changes of hobbies at the same months of the year. This makes our lives more predictable and easier for both of us to cope with it.
The post below has some additional resources for support for you.
We can't be everything to everyone. This forum is for people experiencing bipolar disorder. While we do appreciate and respond to questions for non-bipolar family, friends, and partners, we will not be able to respond to non-bipolar members coming here for personal support, venting, ranting, or complaining about another person's bipolar symptoms.
The change is reflected in our "Members: Please Read Before You Post" thread: https://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=883428 I have copied the content of that post here:
This forum is for support for people experiencing bipolar disorder. This forum is a safe, anonymous environment for people with bipolar disorder to freely discuss their struggles and symptoms. It is not a support group for friends and family of bipolar disorder. Living with someone who suffers from bipolar disorder presents a set of problems all its own. There are groups for this at other sites:
NAMI's Online Communities
And one for family and friends at Pendulum.org
And the Family & Friends of Bipolar Support Group at Daily Strength.
Posts that are perceived to be venting, ranting, or complaining about another person's bipolar disorder symptoms will not be tolerated. Offensive posts will be edited or removed, replaced with the resource links above, and be locked to prevent discussion. Objective and compassionate posts will remain and it will be at our member's personal discretion whether or not they chose to answer.