Love...or the lack thereof

I recently opened my facebook account and saw that three of my friends got engaged on one day. Everybody I know is in a relationship of some sort, and I just have not been able to find that connection.

My first and last boyfriend (note, I am 22, so this is a good thing) went with me through my BP diagnosis and some terrible depressive cycles. As soon as I told him that this is probably a permanent thing and not just a phase, he went running for the hills. I can't blame him though.

After that I have just not been able to find a person that I can truly connect with or that did not leave me when they figured out that I am not the picture of mental stability. None of my friends understand what it is like to be lonely constantly. I can't talk to any of them. Most of them view mental illness as a disability.

I just want somebody to talk to. Does love and relationships weather the destructive effects of BP, or am I destined to become a spinster?

Howdy nnnnnnick :)
I'm 42 and I'm single and I'm always very lonely now. Everyone's personal lives are entirely unique and there is no crystal ball to tell you how yours will go. We just have to let our own journey unfold.

My story (which is not indication for yours) is: I have had bipolar all my life. I have found loneliness has gotten worse as I have gone through the lifespan. At your age I was actively involved in relationships and they were on the whole quite positive. My relationships only soured from my husband onwards, who I started dating when I was 23. I left the marriage at 31. The relationships after my marriage were much better but still not sustainable. I tried a relationship with another bipolar but he turned out to be a psychopath as well, and I was shattered. That ended in June/July this year. The more relationships crash and burn; the more I don't want to go through it any more. My psychiatrist always tells me that casual sex is the way to go for bipolars... get the occasional service for the sake of your mental health, without all the additional relationship problems our illness brings. I don't like casual sex. I have had sex once or twice with someone I know I won't get attached to and end up developing a relationship with. They have been surprisingly good experiences. Although it certainly isn't ideal, I've come to terms that there is not much ideal about having bipolar. You just got to do the best you can within whatever is genuinely right for you.

You will note that on this forum, quite a few sufferers talk about their spouses and it does seem to work. That is mostly because they are actively working on their illness. There is evidence it can be done!

Try not to worry about your future. Just accept you are lonely right now. (I also had my partner leave me when I was diagnosed with bipolar. It was okay for him to be mentally ill but not me apparently. I also found that very sad, as I had deep feelings for him too and it took some time for the grief to pass).

It is tough to manage bipolar at 22 but the upshot of being 22 with bipolar is you are younger and have the vigour of youth on your side. It can be hard not to drink and do drugs at 22 because substances tend to be firmly entrenched in early 20's socialising. The less you drink and drug thou, the more stable your bipolar will be and the less it will progress. It will also progress less if it is managed well with medication and therapy. The more stability you can obtain, the less bipolar will impact on all your life areas, not just your love life.

I wish you well :) x