New Member

Hello, everyone. I feel very relieved having found this forum.

I am a twenty-year old female who will be twenty-one this upcoming April. about a year and a half ago, I had stopped going to college and only left the house three or four times per month. Finally, I was encouraged to go to the doctor. The doctor referred me to a psychiatrist that diagnosed me with bipolar disorder. I didn't know anything about bipolar disorder at the time but my heart still sunk in my chest. When I asked if there was a cure for this and told there wasn't I broke down right there in the psychiatrist's office.

During all of that time I have been getting therapy and working to get myself better. This past fall I enrolled back into my college and I've been working hard. But during this time I was getting better I met someone online that had anxiety and expressed interest in me. I was wary and didn't want to trust them but they accepted my bipolar disorder. Our relationship was a roller coaster and involved me being weak and pushing them away.

Eventually, they had enough and left me for someone else. This was my first love so it tore me apart that I was left, but left for someone else was like a stab in the back. All throughout that I tried new medication, opened up more to my therapist, and started working harder every day to control my emotions. The person I loved said they would only be with me if I got better.

Since I'm getting better now will they finally come back to me? I don't want them to leave the person they're with but at the same time I want them back. What should I do? I'm very confused because I feel like I could stop loving this person but I don't want to.

Greetings FinchSings ---
As if it were just yesterday, I can still hear the doctor deliver the prognosis of me being Bi-Polar2. It really rocked my world then and I still find it difficult to wear the label, let alone embrace it for what it truly is. So I truly understand how that feels. For the most part I do live a happy productive life and I go to work everyday when is a great. Yes, when I fall down it is hard and it still hurts but I get back up again.
Going back to college is an excellent choice for you. During your therapy session it would be an excellent time to set goals for you and your education as a whole.
Your outgoing spirit, your desire to connect with others and eventually build good solid relationships can be a learning curve; so take baby steps. If you fall down, get back up again and start all over again. Choose your friends wisely, they are a reflection of who YOU are inside and if these friends do not support you or uplift you, energize you --- Do yourself a favor and dump them immediately.
Now when it comes time to choose a significant other, do not just shop around and take what is available, especially when you do not feel good about it. Know who you are and find a mature but understanding love for yourself, then set down rock solid quality standards that your significant other MUST meet or exceed. Never ever take just second best. When you feel desperate it shows up like neon paint and you can become their victim or prey. Be careful, know their past relationship habits and friends who maybe undesirable, if they have a problem with your inquiry. A red flag should rise up and wave a word of caution. YOUR life is yours, take your own sweet time and focus in what is important for you. YOUR focus and life direction will attract good people to you.

Walk in peace and be well.