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Posted 8/12/2014 4:15 AM (GMT 0)
I have recently married..our relationship is about 6 years old..my oldest sister is bipolar and actively does her best to keep herself well.
My husband well he does not..he knows a lot about his disease we are a family who doesnt medicate..my sister does and is constantly switch meds to feel better...i think if she was off of them ..i would not have a sister. My husband has trouble on a day to day hour to hour basis because of my sister i would never want to see him go through the switch of meds..they are in her system and before they were she did better coping with therapy. What i didnt know was his entire family is like this..unmedicated..i feel so burdened..
Posted 8/12/2014 5:06 AM (GMT 0)
I want to help and dont know how, my heart hurts so much..im in the position to watch all go on and stand back and be quiet..no friends these are my only family ppl i have now..i cant even give a hug. When things are good i am a part of them its a quick wave of happiness for him and i, then our moments are over.i just dont know what to do.
Posted 8/13/2014 9:11 AM (GMT 0)
Suffering from same Situation :(
Posted 8/13/2014 12:40 PM (GMT 0)
Hello empathyhands,

Welcome to the forum!

I am sorry for what you are currently going through. Bipolar is usually treated with both meds and therapy. They both work together to get things under control.

I am glad the meds are helping your sister. Is your husband in therapy? I would suggest he attend therapy to help with. He will learn lots of coping techniques that can assist him daily.

I know that it is hard to coping with a partner's mood swings when they're Bipolar. Please view our resources area where you can find come helpful info on coping with their moods:
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=350839

I know things may be tough for you now but please also remember to take care of yourself. Take a break and spend some 'me time'. It will help you.

I hope things will get better.

UA
Posted 8/13/2014 6:57 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you for all your responses..both my sister and husband have been in therapy since young. My husband refuses to go. I think i need therapy everyday seems so predictible yet so unpredictable, i comend my sister she does everything she can to pull through..even when she cant get out of bef because of the depression she will call someone to drag her out and go to outpatient therapy. My husband on the other hand his support is his family its what makes him feel safe. Only they think it is not necessary to get help..when they are low they just sit low together, i am a constant outsider.
They dispise my successes or my ability to make the best of a bad situation.
They are a large family..i want to be here but im being squeezed out.
I know im venting a lot. I will seek what you sudgested. Thank you
Posted 8/15/2014 12:25 AM (GMT 0)
empathyhands, I think getting therapy for yourself will be helpful. It will help you a lot and you will learn ways to cope with the current situation.

Would you husband consider resuming therapy if you go as well?

Feel free to post and even vent anytime. We are always here for you.

UA
Posted 8/15/2014 8:00 AM (GMT 0)
I completely relate to your situation. I've been married to my bipolar husband for 27 years. When we were raising our children I always blamed myself for his moods and verbal abuse. A lot of my husband's behavior was confusing to me. I tried to divorce him and he really went off the deep end and tried to ruin me, got paranoid and told his family I was cheating on him which was completely made up - don't even have any male friends. In fact my husband is so confrontational we have no friends. I found out two weeks ago that bipolar is rampant in my husband's family, dad had it, uncle committed suicide and brother acts just as crazy as my husband. My brother-in-law talked to my husband and they agreed it would be better to go through life crazy than medicated. I'm sickened by the news of my in-laws bipolar problems and that it seems a joke to them. My life with my husband has been hell, our kids have suffered too as he can't do anything but complain and give putdowns. I pray everyday that God will help me find a solution. My husband started drinking 10 years ago and ran us into bankruptcy. Since then I started a small cleaning business so I could provide for the kids and I. My husband said well it's ok for me to support you why not you support me, he spends hours everyday on the internet and tv watching the most depressing news he can find. I do insist he pay half the bills so he will only work just that much. I am going to start going to a support group in my area, he won't go and will put it down and throw tantrums on those days but I have decided to go anyway.
Posted 8/16/2014 4:46 AM (GMT 0)
I drew a line the other night. I basically told him that he can be as moody as he needs but our deal breaker will be cheating and abusive behavior..throwing tantrums like slamming doors or going back ti past ppl or women for attention and such..and he took it..i told him if he crossed these relationship rules we woyld go our separate ways..there were many different but to the point spesifics we touched on in this conversation. Heres where it got ugly..i reallt cant handle the moods and the next day that he sad bitter and ignoribg me as ge does usually and u snapped. I want a life were i can be joyous and not feel bad i have basically been doing what he does to me and i wasnt brought up to do this. I kept walking and ignored him back..we havent spoken too much he is trying and trying to do other things more positive ones..and when he doesnt i pick up and leave to a happy place..its my life too.
If you had a support group i would go..ten to share and the rest to be lively. I have 5 kids if my child has an issue i would take them to wherever to get help and teach them all i have to cope. Otherwise i personally would need tge medication for myself just to stay here. So far so good.
My last statement to him was rules are rules get help..i only know so much about bipolarity..ive read books..but bipolarity is not an excuse ..he knows what hes doing i see him watch out of the corner of his eye to see if im watching or going to react..i feel like ive made it worse by walking on eggshells.
Posted 8/16/2014 7:03 AM (GMT 0)
It's a good thing to know what your dealing with good or bad so at least your can make some decisions. I am a optimist and so I always believed someday my husband would have enlightening moment and want to change his ugly ways but I now know that he has no control over his emotions and can not see the the reality. I have come to accept he has no remorse and only thinks of himself, jealous of everyone's success and happiness even our kids. Our kids have told me they think he could become a homeless person if I left him. Not sure about anyone else but sometimes my husbands behavior is just downright creepy! I probably sound cold and hateful- I've become hardened and insensitive as he is with me. I am hopeful for a brighter happier time in my future, I am certain it won't be with my husband as he won't consider getting help. Keeping faith that The Lord has my back for sure.
Posted 8/17/2014 1:56 AM (GMT 0)
empathyhands, let your husband know how you feel. Tell him how you feel about his moods, etc.

Maybe you can check online to see if there are any local support groups in your area. Call the local hospitals, maybe they'll be able to recommend a support group. Remember that you have our support as well. We are here for you.

I hope things will get better for you.

kathionline: Welcome to the forum! I am sorry for what you are going through. You will have brighter days in the future. There are better days to come. You just have to get through this. Please know that we are by your side with you.

UA
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