Wife of Bipolar looking for support

Hello im a new member. Theres so much to say, so if i sound like im babbling, please forgive me. I am overwhelmed with a sense of helplessness as I watch my soul mate go through this and I cant fix it. My husband and I have been married 26 years and have 4 kids ranging in ages from 20-24. He has lived with bipolar disorder since college, at which point he had been hosptialized and put on lithium. (He did not like any part of being medicated and has not been on medication since i have known him)
I was not aware of any of this until our second child was born about 3 years after we got married when he started drinking. That lasted for about a year or so and he seemed to manage his waves ok without medication. (At least from my perspective) Then as the kids reached their upper teenage years, he started drinking again. It got to the point where he drank just about every waking moment, going to jobs, family functions, sporting events...everything while either buzzed or all out drunk. My oldest son and I finally were able to convince him to seek help and he started going to AA in Feb 2014. He stayed sober and life was great ( again from my perspective) until the end of July when we went away on vacation and he decided to let loose and have a couple of beers. Long story short that turned out horrible.

After the week long drinking binge ended, he talked to me about how difficult those 5 months of sobriety have been trying to manage his bipolar. While to me and the kids everything seemed really great, he was miserable trying to cope and just push himself through until the episode passed. Then during that first week back from vacation he went into a period of manic that has lasted about a week and a half. He hasnt been able to work, had days where nothing he said made any sense, loss of focus, couldnt sleep, all classic symptoms of a manic episode. He also experienced dilusions that even though today his thought process seems to be normal, he is certain that what he experience really happened.

Now you may advise us to seek professional help which seems like the thing to do, however he will not go on medication. He doesnt like the side effects or how they make him feel. So trying to get him to even consider that route has been a struggle.

I did find a clinic in chicago who uses high potency vitamins to balance the chemical deficiency but not sure if it is a viable treatment option. They do blood and urine tests to determine a persons unique imbalance and create a combination of vitamin supplements personalize based on the results At this point we are ready to try anything but was wondering if anyone has had success with non drug treatments.

Thanks for taking the time to read my rant, and im looking forward to any respones.

I'd just love to offer you my support as I'm dealing with a very similar situation with my husband. I was going to post my own topic but when I checked here our stories are so similar I'd thought I'd post here.
My husband too refuses to take medication and self medicates with alcohol and pot.
Like you I'm feeling quite helpless and hopeless and feel like I can't see this marriage through. I'm 4 1/2 years sober and his spiraling is really making it hard for me to stay sober. I'm almost 40 and really just want peace and calm in my life.
Is the strong thing to do is stay with them even when they refuse help or to leave the marriage and pray that may be a catalyst to them seeking help. We've separated once before (when I got sober) and it only seemed to fuel his lack of self care.
Wrestle-will he see a therapist or go to AA again? 5 months sober is a hard time for addicts it does get easier but it's always hard. Especially if the drinking was masking or self medicating the bi-polar and that isn't being addressed when sober.

Yes, every one doesn't like the medication. I am 59 now and have been on Lithium for some 38 years. At the beginning they thought I was schiozphenic. I went on to get my bachelor's and master's due to Lithium. Yes I know very well of the use between bi-polar and alcohol. To me Lithium saved my life, and it is a miracle drug. It's all up to us. We have to admit that we are bi-polar and take our meds (and nothing else) or else it is down the rabbit hole with the dark side.

Lithium save me from being psychotic. I did never want to have to experience that again so many years ago so I took and took and took, etc. Lithium.

My husband is bipolar. I watched him get worse and worse and worse until finally the lows were on the edge of suicidal. It's amazing how happy they are in the manic and how depressed in the low! But he followed me to the doctor and he is on seroquel and an anti-depressant. it changed our lives. He still has highs and lows but they are manageable. There is a pot smoking element in there also. I personally believe the years of pot smoking is part of the cause and effect. But that's another issue. I just want to encourage you like the other guy said - as the wife, you do need to be firm. One of the biggest things we deal with is that he does not make wise decisions - because his mind is either racing or depressed and he can't. He does get sneaky sometimes too and will put off taking the meds because he is in a manic and wants to stay up all night. But he's learning that he suffers long term for it. Be encouraged and be strong! I know it's difficult. Believe me, my husband hates doctors and people telling him what to do. But he loves and trusts me and that's why he finally got help.

WrestleMom, welcome to the forum! I am glad you're seeking support here.

Is your hubby still attending the AA meetings? I would recommend he resume these meetings. They ar a very helpful and supportive group.

Your hubby can seek professional help without meds. He can get counseling from a psychologist. A psychologist cannot prescribe meds. However, they will be able to provide support and show him coping techniques that he will be able to use daily.

Dealing with Bipolar can be hard. Someone with bipolar needs support. It's good that your hubby was able to tell you how hard the 5 months was for him. Please ensure you let him know that he doesn't have to go through it alone. You and the kids are there for you.

I know that coping with his moods are probably tough at times. Please remember to take time for yourself and take care of you. Please view our resources areas. There's a section with info on 'Coping with Bipolar Partner’s Mood Swings':
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=350839

Take Care

UA