How am I going to get through this day?

Hi everyone. It has been more than a year since my last post, but I feel like I need to get this out there.

I am a graduate student, chemistry, and today I am feeling very depressed. It is like I just can't find the energy to get to work. I am at the office, but all I have been doing thus far is fooling around on the internet.

It seems to just be one of those days again. It is this slow sticky lethargy that just coats everything around you, and you feel slightly content with just having this familiar darkness swallow your day, yet you know that it is not a good thing and that you have work to do, but you cannot get out of the trap.

I have tried planning something interesting that might take my mind out of this space, but somehow it just does not want to leave.

I just want to crawl into bed and stay there, but I unfortunately live with my parents and they just simply do not leave you alone...ever. I feel stuck in this hole.

Nobody I work with know that I am Bipolar II, since admitting to mental problems in my field is a bad idea, but sometimes I just wish I could trust someone enough to tell them. Then I won't feel so utterly alone in this mess.

Hopefully it will go away soon. I just needed to tell someone.

I hope you find your way back up soon. You can at least talk honestly here if not at work. Or maybe choose a friend who's not in your field to confide in? Good luck to you

Thank you guys for your kind words. Unfortunately I do not have the luxury of taking a day off but I have been taking things down a notch. My one friend that I could talk to freely has moved away recently and no longer replies to my messages, so I have lost my confidant. But I am trying to find someone else. My university supplies free psych consultations, but they are not known to be super discreet. I have thus opted for the anonymity provided by the internet. Although I am still not at 100% I would like to thank you all for support.

I think I will become a regular poster from now on :)

Annick, glad to hear you are taking things easy.
I'm sorry you can take a day-off. Nevertheless, you can still treat yourself after work. Maybe watch a nice movie at home, eat a nice dinner, listen to some nice music.

It's nice to hear you've decided to post regular

I hope you will feel better.

UA